Do you not sleep?

Finally found a great well paying job in a nice studio, hated it, resigned two weeks later. Fun times.

So I just had the weirdest week in my job.

Due to various different reasons, I had to teach my job to another person while still performing my job (of course).

While I wasn’t eager to perform this particular task, and the week left me somewhat more stressed than normal (there were some slight complications), I did noticed that I was interested enough in explaining the stuff to the guy to effortlessly do it and add info on top of whatever I had already explained whenever I found reason to do so.

If anything, the experience allowed me to understand a bit better how I do relate to the test results my therapy has provided me so far.

Still, I kinda wish I had a clear path in front of me. I have a tendency to stall seeking solutions for my problems if I don’t see a clear, best choice, fruitful path in front of me, instead of, you know, putting myself out there seeking for the god damned solution.

And now I have something to talk about in my next therapy session.

While reading the thread a bit of a question popped into mind, and this last post feeds right into it.

Okay, so you're thinking your current job isn't really your thing, but 10 years is a lot of experience. You also have a team that you enjoy working with; I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that you also like the overall company. And now you've had a brief opportunity to try something different within your existing field, namely, training someone, and (maybe I'm reading into it) it sounds like you enjoyed it a bit.

So... have you considered doing something else within the current company? You know the business, you know the company, you know the people, and you like the folks you've worked with. Further, your therapist has you thinking that your aptitudes lie in other directions, tending more to the personal / human interaction side, and also working with data. My wife's employer is big on hiring within, for the same reasons: the employee is already a part of the company 'family' and has a lot of knowledge that will help in a new position.

Edit: by "something else", I mean maybe looking at the Marketing Department or another branch along the lines of what those tests showed were your aptitudes.

Anyway, that's an avenue I would certainly consider - especially if you like the company and the people.

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Others mentioned self-employment. Do your homework beforehand. As Kleetus mentioned, this is not something for everyone - even if it's a dream job, that doesn't mean one will be any good at running the business. There is a whole lot involved in my business that has nothing to do with the business. By this, I mean that while I work on - and sell parts for - machinery, there is all the other crap that needs to get done. Those other things take time, some expertise, and have their own costs. Not trying to scare anyone away, but it isn't as easy as doing what you used to do for someone else and then simply rake in the money now that you're doing it for yourself.

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Anyway, I think you're actually in decent shape. You identified a problem and have started thinking about it, you're considering alternatives, you're in a good spot financially. In your shoes, I would first look at existing opportunities within the company since the place has pluses for you and also would mean the least interruption in your life.

If anything, my focus recently has been on relating what my therapist said I am, based on the tests and observations she applied to my own perception of myself. So, while I initially felt diminished and restricted by my test results, I have been feeling more confident and at peace with those results, because of a better understanding of how they relate to who I am and how they also affect my work performance.

The training thing was a one time only thing and, yes, I think there was some “enjoyment” on my part there, but I think of it more in terms of “how I found myself invested and caring enough to perform it well and effortlessly” which is the focus of my professional quest right now, I think.

I thought about internal opportunities a couple of times, but I honestly didn’t consider them properly until you mentioned it. My current company has internal opportunities, they just don’t seem to divulge them very properly so I’m never aware of what’s available. I also have a feeling that I won’t really find anything more closely related to what I’m learning I can do/enjoy. Still, it’s an investigation I think is worth doing, even though I think I should be discreet enough to not raise any flags in my boss’s head.

About self employment, two of my best friends are and it works well enough for them, but it really is something that doesn’t attract me much.

That's a tough one. How do you pursue other stuff within the company without making them think you're looking to quit? Or if you do let them know, you have to figure out a way to do so in such a way that they know you want to stick around but would like to take a stab at other positions. I think you'd have to consider the ways that your current position and experience can dovetail into the new position, even if it's in a different department, and then express that in such a way that they can see how you can provide a valuable perspective to the position / department.

Can't say firsthand but it sounds like your team leader is willing to give chances and opportunities, so maybe she can help out with that.

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

Well, just to let you guys know, I got fired today. I was offered all the reasons I thought would be used as an excuse to fire me (basically: "you're underperforming a lot", which is true), but later the physician doing my medical exam told me a lot of people were being fired that day.

Given that the main client of the company is cutting costs aggressively, it really isn't a surprise.

Anyway, for the next few days, I'll be trying to chill up and find a bit of peace. Other than that, let's just hope my next job is a great job that is able to hold my interest.

^Good luck finding something.

I mostly got un-fired today, which is cool. For overperforming.

That happened to me once!

Problem is, I'm a mannequin.

when I was not looking forward to going to my workplace. For me it was just doing the same thing over and over again, kind of tiring after awhile. (Though I did not hate it)

They've made several rounds of cuts to editorial, to the point where their news staff is tiny compared to what it was even 10 years ago.

But I think the worst thing about the New York Times is that it's almost entirely staffed by people from the same cultural bubble, with the same politics, same lifestyles and same (usually wealthy) upbringing. When your entire editorial staff is comprised of people who live within the same bubble, you cannot effectively cover the nation or claim to be a national newspaper.

I have a cousin with a Master's in Business. Was working his way up the corporate ladder. Put his whole life into it.

Dropped out and went to nursing school.

Now he's a nurse.

And happier than hell.

I think it may be time to polish up my 'ol resume time.

So, I decided to necro this thread just to add a new bit of information for whoever read about my plight so far:

This week I found out I have hypothyroidism. I had decided to do a simple medical checkup, the kind we all should do every year or so, and the TSH exam revealed I had a problem there. I did a few more exams yesterday, but the medic had already told me to start taking the proper medicine after doing the exams.

And, well, I started today (really, little more than an hour ago) and I feel very alert and productive (like I suddenly really want to do stuff and have the energy to do so). I'm not entirely sure this is how I'm supposed to few after taking the medicine, but I feel like there's an age since I felt this way.

Which begs the question: for how long have I been plagued with this thing and how much has it fucked me over in my last job? Or maybe even the one before it?

I have no intention of dwelling on these questions, but hell, it does make me think, because if I really have to take another job as a programmer (while I look for my true calling, whatever the heck that is), maybe I can take it after all.

Thank you for the follow-up.

I imagine that you are really feeling confused. I guess we can never be sure if the problem is within us or not, and if there is any way to find out.

At least you seem to believe there has been an improvement, that you are better now than you were before. I, for once, feel curious regarding this matter. Feel free to continue posting, and wishes of good luck.