Dear Esteemed GOG Team,
We come to you with a request of absurd importance: please add Space Station Silicon Valley to your DRM-free library. It’s a game where a robot named Evo controls a bunch of bizarre robotic animals with ridiculous abilities—and it needs to be on your platform.
Imagine: Evo inhabiting a spring-loaded robotic critter that launches him like a defective circus act, a robotic rat squeezing into places it has no business being, and a robotic scorpion that literally stabs its enemies. Oh, and the best part: a polar bear tank. It’s not a polar bear in a tank—it’s a polar bear that’s a tank with tank treads for legs, crushing everything in its path.
The plot? Evo’s brain gets fused with a robotic dog, and he has to save a space station by jumping into various robotic animals with absurd abilities. There’s a robotic camel that functions as a mobile artillery unit, a robotic sheep that launches itself out of cannons, and a robotic bird... just for some mild variety. It’s the kind of weirdness that makes absolutely no sense but somehow works perfectly.
GOG, you’re the kings of quirky, nostalgic, and weird games. Space Station Silicon Valley is the ultimate bizarre classic, and it’s ready for the absurd joyride you can provide. The community needs this game.
Add it to your store, and we’ll bring an artillery robot camel to your headquarters. It’s fully armed. It’s coming. And don’t worry—it’ll be fine. Probably.
Yours in chaos and nostalgia,
A group of fans who definitely want a digital artillery robot camel.
P.S. The artillery robot camel’s coming. Brace yourselves.