Nevermind everyone, and thank you for helping. I swear, I went through everything I could, repeatedly. I setup port forwarding, I set all permissions and access through firewalls, I double checked everything and ran everything I could as administration, I went through all the files and made sure everything was correct, and after even checking my CD Key multiple times... I just now realized that two letters of it were switched around. That one little mistake kept me baffled, and the game doesn't inform you that your CD Key is invalid when that happens, so if anyone else runs into this little hiccup, I hope they see this and check their CD Key.
TL;DR I'm a moron, CD Key was incorrect.