The opening cutscene everything goes smoothly, but when the actual game starts all of the other characters voices are so sped up it sounds like Alvin and the chipmunks. I've played this game on cube and I know for a fact that's not how it's supposed to be. Anyone have any suggestions?

Try lowering your audio hardware acceleration.
In Control Panel, Select Sounds and Audio Devices
On the Audio tab, click Advanced
A new window will pop up
In the Performance tab, lower the Hardware Acceleration one notch at a time and then try the game.
You can also try updating your sound drivers

Nope that didn't help at all. Can one of you noobs help me?

If the latest sound drivers don't work, maybe try older ones instead. I know I had to do that with my old Sound Blaster Audigy some years back. Also, if your sound is built in to your motherboard, try getting the drivers directly from the makers of the audio chipset, instead of the makers of your motherboard, or vice versa. For example, if you have Realtek AC'97 Audio, try going to Realtek's website at [url=]www.realtek.com.tw[/url] to get drivers.
Something else that looks weird that you can try: in the options where you can choose the audio language, they have both American and English. Whichever one you have set, maybe try the other.

If you have a two or four -core processor, try forcing to run the game with only the first processor (with a program like RunFirst).
If you have a AMD processor, download the AMD Dual-Core Optimizer.

Sorry for my insensitivity, but this bug sounds hilarious.

typically in windows if you go to the task manager (ctrl alt del) and rightclick on the second sight process, then go to set affinity, you can change the number of cores the game uses.
try having it use only one.
please also go to start>run>dxdiag and hit save all info
post it here if you would please

Tried that; didn't work. I did, however, shut off the hardware acceleration on sound completely, and it works fine now (I tried lowering it earlier, but never shut it off completely). Thank you, mykroft. :)
I use a Dell Precision M90, which uses some obscure audio chipset, so that may be part of the problem. I'll grab that dxdiag thing later, Weclock.

This problem is present on Dell Inspiron 1520s with the SigmaTel audio chipset.
I will be testing it with my Creative X-Fi notebook card in the near future.

your inspirion has T&L support? hmm.

Same problem here. =(