So I received my stronghold and I can upgrade it. However they warn me I can get attacked and it will set me back. Well that sucks. It makes me not want to invest. Then again having good security helps they say. Also having people defend the place have an upkeep apparantly. I read that you get tax money, but I have no idea how much and if it is even sustainable. I do want to invest though.

- I hate having a constant upkeep. Where am I going to find the money from?

Also there are those endless paths beneath and the assistant said I should clear it out. I have no idea how big it is and if it's doable with my lvl 5 party. I also have a new direction for a main quest, but I don't want to leave the keep because I might get attacked and horrible things will happen, so that makes me not want to bother with the stronghold at all. I mean

- if I invest my money from adventuring and the keep can just get demolished again, what's the point?
- I also have no clear indication where I can find a stable source of income to get the protection I need. And without it, I'd be dependant on finding money in houses and dead bodies from adventuring. Surely that's not the point?
- What if I just want to go somewhere to explore, will Il be interrupted halfway?
- Also what's up with 'turns' how long does a turn last?
- How much time passes before I have to pay potential troops i have stationed there?
- How much troops do I even need to defend?

There are MANY questions I have and nothing is explained. I don't want to invest large sums of money if I don't know what I'm investing in. It's like real life. :P

You get tax depending (I think) on the state of your stronghold. You also get money, items, reputation etc. from adventures that your idle followers can be assigned to. You will also get undesirables landing on the doorstep. You can pay them off, or escort them (via idle companion) until they leave. I have not done that, yet, because I am led to believe that it is *big* (13 levels?) Bullet them. There's nothing worse than trying to answer questions within questions.

Better?

Already answered. It doesn't get demolished. You just loose prestige or security, which can be recouped, I believe. See answer to your first question. The stronghold is all scripted. You don't have to be there -- you get in-game pop-ups, and journal updates. I haven't figured this one out yet. Irrelevant. It's done automatically, without any intervention needed. If you don't have the funds, I presume the hired help will leave. Each troop brings with it a positive or negative prestige and/or security. You may employ a maximum of eight.

The stash is limitless at all difficulties.
To access it at any time you need to enable an option in the options menu.

It looks like you CAN get pieces of the fortress destroyed.
bandits attacked and I lost the western barbacan!
I can't believe this! There's no way anything less than an army with siege equipment could destroy a full stone wall and giant iron gate.
This is just stupid! :-(

It's a fantasy setting with dragons, 40-feet ogres, artillery and wizards hurling balls of exploding doom. A smashed door doesn't seem that unlikely for a well prepared band of brigands.

Also, as it hasn't been answered yet, a "turn" happens every time you finish a quest or task. So while upgrades, hireling paydays and escorts happen in game time, tax collection and progress on adventures only happen when you actually go out and quest.

You get ample warning before any attacks, and in those five days you can easily hire defenders and travel back to make sure not much damage is done to your stronghold. Just save beforehand, some of those fights are nasty, I once got a large group of oozes and trolls right after acquiring Caed Nua. :)

This was pointed out to him in another thread and he did not think it was significant. This is kind of a quest that ast486 accepted.

Should build everything I can before building the barracks?

I'm trying to not to leave myself open to attack.

Some people say you don't get attacked before building a barracks, but that's not strictly true. You can get visitors and merchants passing through, who can be robbed, abducted etc, and your prestige will go down. I say build the barracks first, then you can recruit hirelings, who are unpaid at first.

I thought hirelings were always paid. How long does the unpaid status last?

You are correct; They are always paid.
Pay period is every five days

The only thing of interest is that the default hires will not leave, if you cannot pay them.
Visiting, more powerful hires, will leave if you cannot pay them.

I said 'unpaid at first', which gives you a grace period to make money.