leisure suit larry.
Any of them.
(I only played 1-5 though, and have seen the latest trailers for the new one, which looks even worse than any that went before! That actually takes some skill.)

Postal 2.
Sometimes I want to do things Rockstar would call the cops on me for.

Have you tried Depths of Peril? Another guilty pleasure game. It should have been the end-it-all to Diablo clones, but somehow it is still quite rough around the edges. I know there are reviewers - bunch of blockheads from sites like Honestgamers - who would be up in arms at the sight of YADC (Yet Another Diablo Clone), but DoP really is quite good when you get down to its basics
Coulda been better tho

Oh wow, i never tried it but always thought about purchasing it over steam. I will definetly try it out. Thanks for the heads up.

Rogue Trooper. Not only was it extremely faithful to the comic but I personally thought it did Gears Of War long before Gears Of War existed.
Here's hoping it's true Rebellion are working on Strontium Dog.

The army men games. They all suck (with the exception of the first one and the pandemic developed RTS), yet i cant resist any from the 3DO era, some of them are almost amusing parodies of war.
Oh and Two Worlds.
EDIT:
Just have to back this up, rogue trooper was awesome.

Persona 4. I tell everyone I hate anime and everything about it, yet here I am, playing a game that's heavy, heavy anime, and enjoying the crap out of it. Maybe I convince myself I hate anime because all the students at my high school who like that stuff push it forward into every part of their life. One of them thinks he's a vampire, and has been sent to the office many times for cutting into himself and drinking his own blood. To associate with them would alienate me from everyone in my class in an instant.
For that reason, I only play Persona 4 at 5 AM (two hours before swimming), room locked, headphones. I hide the game at the bottom of my cabinet, along with my *gulp* Bleach series.
Please don't tell me I'm becoming an otaku...

Don't worry. Your no wheres near close enough to be considered an otaku. You would have to start making anime the only form of TV that you watch, alienate yourself from everyone you know(intentionally), and masturbate to hentai(A LOT). Also, otaku are usually cosplayers and vice-versa.
On a completely related note, there is a girl at my school named Megan who thinks she is a vampire. Sorry, to be specific she thinks she is the reincarnation of a half-vampire. She has none of the weaknesses that normal vampires have(Such as the sun and garlic) but has many powers that normal vampires do not(Such as her supposed heat vision. Seriously). When I asked her to prove to me that she had any of these powers she said she didn't want to be kicked out of school so she couldn't do them in public. She then offered me to come to her house so she could show me her powers. I abruptly refused.

Sweet, I never do any of that stuff.
Good God, it's not an isolated incident! I blame Twilight for this surge in wannabe vampires.
She said she had heat vision? I think she's getting vampire mixed up with superhero.

Oh yeah, it's a real honor!