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I like what I like and if others like it, fine, but if they don't, that's fine too. That is the beauty of having different opinions. If everyone liked the same stuff, then all we would have is COD, and who wants that. It is ok to disagree on games/music/tv because we are all different.

What I can't stand is when people call you out and say that your opinion is wrong because you don't care for the same thing as them. For example: I do not like rts games. I find them to be boring and don't have the patience for them. Other people like them and that is cool. But if someone said to me, "You are stupid for not playing rts games. You aren't a real gamer!" That's just ignorant.
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MaridAudran: If we're talking about people with whom I aim to have any sort of meaningful relationship with (friendship, romantic or otherwise), then yes, I'd like a commonality of shared tastes. Probably in the 70-80% range, with enough divergence to keep things interesting, but not enough to mostly quibble and bicker with one another about "x" film genre or "y" music subculture.
Ehhh... I think sharing world viewpoints is important, but not media so much. I like PC games, 80's movies, sci-fi shows and alt rock and folk or jazz. My girl likes, well... none of that really, none of that at all.

We do fine though because we have good compatibility in personality and world view.
Well I do suppose I do feel "better" when someone else at least sees the value (a little different from having to like it) in something I like than when they don't - which is fairly common. You're right that at its extreme such reactions produce tribalism - that everyone must think like me. Knowing this, I make a conscious effort to mitigate such feelings as much as possible, but I'm only human. :)

It can also be detrimental if you what you like is so niche that nobody produces what you want. With games and digital distribution that's less likely than before, but back in the days of retail, niche products had a harder time surviving. Depending on how niche one was, retailers might not carry the product at all. Of course, now the problem can be differentiating between all the products available in the digital market. But from the perspective of simply being able to acquire/use/whatever a product, I can understand people wanting to promote their interests and likes to other people.
Post edited August 17, 2013 by crazy_dave
Everyone already likes what I do. If they don't, they know the consequences.
Bah, am completely banal. I feel less special when they like what I like, when it becomes mainstream I feel both proud "for" the thing in question, and a bit disposessed because my bourdieusian distinction melts in the unanimity. I complain when people are "too dumb" to appreciate what I like, i complain that they appreciate it "too late" or (necessarly) "for the WRONG reasons". I don't mind this hypocrisy, and don't take my feelings very seriously. These feelings are there, in the background, they're mine, I don't deny them, and they make me giggle with their stupidity. And I half no problem, myself, occasionally jumping on some bandwagon and shoving old "real true original fans" away for a little room,,,
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mondo84: As for gaming, I think the pond's big enough such that the 'mainstream' stuff with broad appeal and the 'niche' stuff with very specific appeal can coexist peacefully. As long as neither negatively impacts the other everyone should be happy...I think.
I agree. For years I've deplored what I perceive to be the downward spiral of the mainstream gaming industry. I used to play lots of AAA games but I don't anymore, because hardly anything which I find interesting comes out of that segment of the industry these days. However, I've come to the realization that it doesn't matter. With the way indie gaming has flourished in recent years, and the opening up of alternative distribution channels, there are still plenty of interesting games being made, just not by the companies who used to make them.
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Leroux: Really? And who are these people?
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oasis789: the damsels and tropes woman, to name one. there are others in that vein as well.
I bet oasis787 (from the 50s, Back-to-the-Future-style) was mightily annoyed by those uppity blacks sitting in the front of the bus.
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Licurg: I hate everybody that doesn't like everything I like and doesn't hate everything I hate. I'll admit it, I'm a fascist at heart, but most people are imbeciles and don't know better, and they need someone like me to teach them what's right and wrong .
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langurmonkey: +1 for courage. Most people are like this but they would never admit this to others out of fear.
Nope. Most people who are like this don't ever admit that feeling this hatred is the goal in itself, and that they are actually annoyed if too many people aggreeing with them deprive them from their position of special holy unique guide of universal taste.

In other words, they love the fact that others don't like everything they like and don't hate everything they hate. They complain and stay on a crusade that they wouldn't want to be won. Or, to put it differently, they don't want others to like what they like, they don't care, that is not their purpose. They want people to go "oooh you were so magnificently brilliant for having seen and showed us the light, you truly deserve to be the king of us". The explicit object of their judgement is irrelevant, it's about oneself's appreciation. They want to be loved through what they claim to want others to love.

That's what makes it amusing. If the love of it spontaneously goes mainstream, they are shortcircuited and despaired. They don't unconditionally wish people to appreciate what they appreciate, because it is not the point.

They only want a hug. :-)
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Telika: They only want a hug. :-)
Or a high-five.
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Leroux: Really? And who are these people?
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oasis789: the damsels and tropes woman, to name one. there are others in that vein as well.
I don't really want to start that discussion here, but IMO you're wasting your energy fighting against strawmen and -women. Someone criticizing lopsided trends in a medium isn't the same as someone trying to ban everything you like - far from it. And in my perception most of the anger directed at the people who dare to criticize anything in the gaming industry has jack to do with what they actually say but with their audacity to dare and criticize at all and with the words enraged fanboys put into their mouth without even listening to them closely.

Trying to shut these people up without a serious discussion is harming gaming, gamers and the variety of games more than their criticisms would ever be able to do.
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Leroux: is harming gaming, gamers and the variety of games
(actually I think neither does)
I have a no nonsense attitude toward people who like things that are unsustainable or otherwise destructive. When it comes to things like that, I don't believe in unlimited freedom.

Beyond that, I have a live and let live outlook on life.

It's simpler when others like what I like, because it gives my hobbies more traction and give us more things to socialize on.

However, I find it necessary for interests diverge otherwise there would be many niches in society that would not get filled. Diversity is a good thing for our evolution and survival.
Post edited August 17, 2013 by Magnitus
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mondo84: It's nice to share my love of certain things with other people, to connect with them and enhance my enjoyment of said things. However, I generally don't mind if most people dislike something I like. Others sometimes seek validation for their interests by confirming that others share similar taste. Nothing wrong with either approach.
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StingingVelvet: I think the latter is healthy as long as that validation isn't central to your own acceptance of yourself. I sometimes get the vibe from that group that they will never love themselves until society validates them.
Funny thing psychology... adding to the above what I strongly suspect is such group truly believes that linkage, but even that societal validation will not help their self-esteem much, or at all.

Anyway, this whole topic around conformity is somewhat of a non-issue to me. Where it gets interesting is when anyone undertakes to force tastes on others, or prohibit tastes of others.

And as a provocation along the enforcement lines, I'll PM you a couple of questions to not derail here.
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StingingVelvet: Ehhh... I think sharing world viewpoints is important, but not media so much. I like PC games, 80's movies, sci-fi shows and alt rock and folk or jazz. My girl likes, well... none of that really, none of that at all.
Too bad though that sometimes not liking the same as someone else may turn into disliking what the other one likes. Like, I've met many women who really think that gaming overall is a stupid hobby that a grown man should not enjoy. At that point I feel they dislike something that is part of me.

Also, I think it is a good thing me and gf find similar movies interesting, as otherwise we probably wouldn't watch TV nor go to cinemas together. Ok, I went to see Pacific Rim alone, but that was not because she wasn't interested (she was actually thinking of joining me), but because she had something else (shopping) to do with her friend in the meantime, and I had a couple of hours to kill while waiting for them.

That's actually one thing where our interests don't meet: shopping. She likes to go shopping for e.g. clothes, which bores me to death (when I buy clothes for myself, I try to do it as fast and painlessly as I can, possibly buying several of the same jeans or shirts at the same time so that I know I don't have to come back for more soon), while I enjoy going to electronic and IT shops who sell all kinds of gadgets, while my gf finds those places a bore.

I think it would be even better if she did like going to IT shops with me, or me going to shopping clothes with her. But it is not a deal-breaker.
I do want others to share my likes. Especially when I'm talking to people face-to-face. It makes me comfortable to know there's common ground. There are forums throughout the web that cater for all tastes, so it's easy to find groups that share interests/likes.