And no I don't mean they've appointed a special anti-piracy officer (though they probably have one).
http://www.kotaku.com.au/2009/07/ubisoft-plans-to-have-piracy-solution-in-place-this-year/
Any paranoid and wild speculation about what it will be?
The return of USB hardware dongles?
New internet based spy software that steals a quarter of your bandwidth even when not gaming?
Neural implant that will deactivate your lungs if you think about piracy (its not like anyone will really play Monkey Island or watch the pirates of the caribbean movies)?

Perhaps some sort of "colonoscopy while you play!" kind of idea.
It'll drastically reduce piracy, and colon cancer!

Sounds pretty vague, but I sure as hell hope it isn't a USB dongle. With the amount of games I purchase, I wouldn't know where to store said dongles.
But if it's anything like the Fade copy protection in Operation Flashpoint, then I'm okay with that. As long as they treat their customers in a friendly manner, and don't stuff our hardware up, I'll be happy.

Don't worry: they've been programmed not to enjoy it.

You beat me to this by a minute. :P

this better not end up like SecuROM did.

Oh, practically Ubisoft is saying me: "we are utterly supreme morons, please continue pirating our products until we will go bankrupt and you will be able to claim them as abandonware"?
Bought it, smart asses.

I guess shit games aren't to blame.

If this "tool" is including cool stuff in the boxes (longer manuals, maps) like games used to have, then I'm all for it.
If it's something harmful to the consumer, then screw you, Ubisoft.

If this become industry standard...DO WANT. Although this means that digitally-distributed games will be disadvantaged compared to boxed retail games.

I'm one of those people that do want figurines and such.
If a decent collector's edition comes out, I'm more than willing to pay the ridiculous Aussie prices for them.

Every copy of the game will come with your own midget. He will watch you while you handle the product, and if you do anything with it that even resembles cracking and uploading it, he'll bite your leg and won't let go until you halt all progress and destroy your current progress into doing the dirty deed. Piracy will be reduced to 0% in no time!

And if you buy the more expensive Collectors Edition, you'll get a slightly larger midget!

No sir, shitty quality games have taken their toll on Ubisoft.
Facry being virtually unplayable, BGAE being a crappy console port of a good game, and Farcry 2 being "Generic Shooter" has taken it's toll on Ubisoft.
I suppose, if you count Raving Rabbids, as a console game, which I do, it could theoretically by pirated by Wii owners, but tbh with you, if you own a Wii and it's hacked, you probably did the Twilight hack, which involves owning a physical copy of TLOZ:TP which is the only game worth owning on that god forsaken system, unless you really really like spending $50 on a flash game you play with your hands.