It's funny how every person I discuss this shit fest with thinks it's a masterpiece.
I was watching a show on TV (I have no idea which one there are so many...TMZ probably) and Michael Bay said he didn't care much about the plot of any of his films and it was all about the action. I kind of died a little...
I was when I saw Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. Mind fuck...
I had a similar reaction when I was watching Transformers 2 and saw that Devastator had that wrecking ball scrotum. Hardest facepalm ever.

Yeah, the transformer toys have really gone down hill.

Hm, I wonder where that silo and two wrecking ball will end up... oh God.

My review of Dark of the Moon:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

I'm amazed. Most of my criticism of the 2nd movie was adressed in the 3rd one, and it still manages to be just as bad, somehow.

Well, I have experienced Bij (don't know what that is? Google it!) and I can now purge the memory of this horrible trilogy from my mind. (ctrl-alt-del)

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Ah......I really wish someone would make a movie based on the Transformers. I liked them so much, when I was a kid. I still like the comics.And Beast Wars, that was really awesome. Yes, I'm sure somebody could make a decent movie out of that. If only. If only....

Original movie, completely re-done animation in the 80's style, new CGI and the original voice cast and soundtrack. That's all you need to make the perfect Transformers movie.

Minimal human involvement, focus on the Transformers, Transformers that are treated as characters, the list goes on.

That was the problem with the first one, and presumably the second and third ones. If you're going to have the stones to make a movie about transformers, then make a movie about transformers, I don't care about the humans, in fact the fewer humans the better.
This is what spared me from the second and third installments. There was just way too much movie focused on humans.

And yet you and others paid for all 3 in the theater...

Why not deny that moron, Bay, money. Make his movies failures, the first one was shit, as bad as anything Uwe Boll has done. I refused to watch the others or buy/rent any on DVD.

The infuriating thing about Uwe is that he's actually a pretty decent director, but insists on directing films in the wrong genre and screwing them up. Watch Postal, it's a perfectly respectable dark comedy. Plus, if nothing else, the scenes where he mercilessly mocks himself are worth watching even for those that don't want to see Dave Foley's penis.

Boll's problem is his attitude. He made tons of crap movies, didn't care how bad they were because it was basically money laundering the investment dollars through a tax shelter, then gets mad when people point out that a lot of his stuff is utter tripe. Well, duh, Boll! You didn't even try! Even Rampage, which a lot of folks find pretty good, seemed rather mediocre to me. I think he's able to pump out watchable film, if it's a genre he's okay at and the stars align to actually make him give a shit. That doesn't seem to happen very often.

I know. I blame myself. Believe me, I do.

Sounds about right, he's clearly capable of directing a decent film, but generally doesn't. I suspect that it probably does have something to do with not taking it seriously enough to get it right.

As for Transformers, I think if you cut the first hour and a half or so of the first movie you have enough good footage for a half hour TV show.

because it's a female action movie ... well, a Sci-fi/ Fantasy female action movie ... with a psychological "story within a story" plot, so it's a Psychological female action movie set in a Sci-fi/ Fantasy world. as you would expect with that much genera bending between things who's fans tend to hate each other: this movie has got a tiny target demographic.

as a result of the current world wide adoption of the WOW player mentality of "if it's not catering to me, then it sucks" combined with that limited demographic, all the self absorbed ass hats who went to see the movie declare it as shit instead of recognizing it as an amazing film that is simply not trying to cater to them.

at least that's the best explanation I can come up with, I personally love it too and simply can not grasp what people are bitching about when they criticize it.

Umm...

I quite liked it...

*runs*

To be fair to the guy, no one wants to be told constantly that every thing they make is shit, especially since he's been sent numerous death threats from raging fans of certain properties.