I actually was reading that...

What's the difference between toilet paper and toast?

Toast is brown on both sides.

Needless to say I'm in. :D

I'm in please +1

Second time ive posted this, so its in quotes (removed it after the requirement was removed).

"I once got beaten near to death by neo nazis in the toilet of a mates pub - but that aint funny so its not a winner... hmmm...

Actually, I remember being at Reading festival in 97. The toilets were the worst I have witnessed at any festival / open air concert or other event by a long way. A slushy piss-mud trickled away from them, so my friends and I made use of the long grass upwind from them instead, and took a few doses of what had been our "emergency" diahorrea relief medication (to avoid facing the unpleasantness).

Anyway, come the last afternoon we were all feeling pretty blocked up, and a friend and I investigated a rumour that the toilets nearest the entrance to the campsite were inherently clean - they were! Like a Valhalla built by Armitage Shanks with that pristine pine and lemon smell - and REAL toilet roll!

Having done what was very needed, we rushed back to where we were camped to tell our friends. on the way we based the dreaded "bog of despair" where the portaloos were dumped - just in time to find a very large man force some squealing hippy kid into one of the units, slam the door (once or twice in his face) and turn the entire unit 90 degrees so the door faced the next unti in line and would not open.

Security stood on helplessly in bewilderment. My friend and I stood in bewliderment coupled with an extreme sense of relief (for several reasons by this point), and wondered what had the little hippy kid done to deserve such punishment.

It didnt take long for the giant to bellow about "bad acid" and "medical tent". The look in his eye said either he or one of his compatriots had been through a very rough weekend as aresult of the hippy kid's drugs - though whether that was self inflicted or not is still a mystery.

Muffled screams could be heard from the portapotty box and the stifling, muggy heat must have made it unbearable, but one phrase could be made out; "Fuck you!"...

The giant lost it and charged that obelisk of unsanitary insanity like a randy rhino that just had a bee sting its bits.

BLAM!

The whole thing flipped onto its side and skidded several feet - nasty sloshing and slooshing sounds echoing inside amid the stunned silence of onlookers. The giant lay face down inthe mud that was not mud.

Silence.

Retching noises slowly arose from the cabin of bum related death before the door burst open like a flooded hatch in a submarine spraying the slurry and the tiny, shit covered hippy out onto the grass. He managed to stand to attention for a second before giving a single heave of his guts and slumping to his knees."

...and if this thread offends you - don't open threads about toilet paper - you can only expact shit! :)
It's baaaaack!

Q: What did the toilet paper say as you walked to the bus stop?

A: I'm in.

George Michael?! O_o7

The entire roll?!

Also: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRSbB2Eau74

That's a sign that you need to eat more dietary fiber and have more regular bowel movements, bro. Take care of your digestive system!

Count me in and thanks for the chance!

lol no, not like that.. and I'm not Elton John.. ;p

Count me in.

I'm in and the toilet paper in deeper.

I'm in for your giveaway bud. Interestingly enough, on a somewhat related story, I had a colonoscopy today (doc found 2 very small polyps, and snipped the MFers out). And under the heading of TMI, I went through a roll and a half of toilet paper between 7PM last night, and 10AM this morning, after having to go through two "cleaning out" procedures, in preparation for my 2:30PM "invasion". I am happy to say though, I didn't leave any TP in my arse...or if I did, the doc didn't mention it :P

Oh yeah.... +1

That's right rocketman - you keep spinning your tales! O_o