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General discussion (archive)To be or not to be?(68 posts)(68 posts)
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This is my favourite topic
Posted December 04, 2014
Didn't ever happen to me, but if someone addressed me as a girl online, I think I would clarify that I'm not. I wouldn't even consider it as "correcting", just trying to avoid misconceptions. To me it would feel wrong having the other one believe he's talking to a girl, like I was leading them on. At least that's my first thought, but then again, you're right, it doesn't really matter all that much, and being completely open and honest also seems like an unusual and maybe not always wise idea on the internet. I mean I don't use my RL name either. I guess it would come down to how interested I am in chatting with the other poster, how much I respect them, and whether it's someone I will continue talking to or someone completely anonymous that I probably won't 'stumble into' again online.

Anyway, if I myself address someone as something they're not, I would actually appreciate them 'correcting' me, I feel it would be more awkward if they don't, but I can also understand if someone prefers not to, as unfortunately it may lead to a different treatment, even unconsciously. On the other hand, the more common it becomes, maybe the less difference it will make. Personally I can imagine it might have a positive effect on discussions if some posters would realize they're not part of an homogenous and absolute majority, and that minorities or even equally big groups with supposedly different experiences and perspectives are 'listening in' on what they're 'saying'.
Posted December 04, 2014
We are all just a sea of avatars and user names. It's hard to know anyone's gender. But if someone misrepresents you and you feel it's important to correct them, go for it. It's not biggie.

Most folks think I'm a guy. And they'd be right. But sometimes, just sometimes, my wife uses my account too. But (I hope) she's never posted on the forums. :)
Posted December 04, 2014
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Cyraxpt: Actually i've done that mistake here on this forum and was corrected, from that point on (unless i already know the gender) i always put she/he, her/him, etc. I think it's ok and not "bitchy" (using your word, don't hit me) to correct people in that regard, just don't take it personally when someone makes that mistake, most people are used to having a majority of male gaming audience on forums.

But do you know what bothers me? When the male audience becomes this disgusting fedora romantic creep when he founds out a girl gamer, it's so cringe worthy... Here's a true story: My name on league of legends is ºApothecaryº and i main the support role so there was this guy that we were playing starting to flirt with me, at first i thought that he was joking but then i realized that he actually thought i was girl... Well, that was an embarrassing moment, not that we played much with him but eventually he stopped accepting our invites to play.
Wait, support role? you mean like a healer? LOL he assumed you were a girl cause you played a healer. Actually, I could see that be frustrating for a guy who likes playing healers.

I had a similar problem in WoW. I had just started playing and joined a guild. Eventually they convinced me to go on voice chat, where they realized I was a girl. One member got super creepy with me and I had to leave. It worked out though, cause it was through that encounter I discovered how awesome the Horde was.

Did you just call me bitchy? I will now destroy you with... tomatoes... *throws tomato* ;)
Posted December 04, 2014
Well crewdroog, I assumed you were a girl due to your picture of loise but then you BETRAYED Bob's burgers.
You're a rarity though I mean your a girl AND a T-REX! You survived extinction. That's boss!
Post edited December 04, 2014 by saith32
Posted December 04, 2014
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Crewdroog: Guys, if people were calling you a girl (in a not mean way), would you correct them? Have you corrected them?
If they are somehow confused I let them know in a way that doesn't embarrass them. It happens very rarely and usually has nothing much to do with what I write but with some kind of mental projection from people who are feeling very lonely.

Here on GOG it happened only once so far, we were all talking about chocolate and I mentioned that I can eat as much as I want without getting fat and a guy suddenly asked me if I'm by any chance a hot single girl. Because what, only girls eat a lot of chocolate? I`m Swiss for crying out loud!

When he realized I'm not a girl, he asked if I had a "hot sister" by any chance. This is actually a much more common thing, in RL guys often ask me if I had a sister (next question: "is she hot?") and it often comes across as somewhat creepy, as if I was going to sell her to them. Seriously, I'm not the Imilchil Moussem market and I won't sell anyone no matter how many sheep you offer.
I usually make a poker face and answer 1000 camels is the price but only if I know that the guy doesn't have camels, otherwise I saw 100'000 camels. No one would pay that many and I don't do the price haggle thing where you tell an astronomic price and then haggle over tea & coffee for hours. My prices are fixed and non-regional and no living things are being sold.
Posted December 04, 2014
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saith32: Well crewdroog, I assumed you were a girl due to your picture of loise but then you BETRAYED Bob's burgers.
You're a rarity though I mean your a girl AND a T-REX! You survived extinction. That's boss!
Yeah, but becoming a T-Rex has TOTALLY ruined my girlish figure! :)

Yeah, but if you'd seen me earlier as "trent reznor screaming into a sandwich" (my old avatar) you'd have thought I was a guy. I think.
Posted December 04, 2014
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Crewdroog: When I first joined on gog, I really didn't care if people thought I was a boy. Hell, my name isn't feminine and I had a banksy pic and later one of trent reznor as my avatar. Then ddickinson had her "girls GA" and talk got going about girls in gaming and how we are underrepresented and thought of as "casual".

I started thinking, was my not correcting people who called me "him" adding to this? Would a guy have corrected someone if they said he was a girl? I watched posts and found that guys did correct. I then began correcting people and even changed my tag under my avatar to "miss not sir".

I feel like I'm being a bitch when I do it because it's something I really never cared about, but at the same time, I feel like by NOT correcting, I'm adding to the "there are no female gamers" nonsense. Well, as in no female gamers that aren't casual.

So, is it better to correct or just say f- it and let people call you whatever they want? Guys, if people were calling you a girl (in a not mean way), would you correct them? Have you corrected them?
He/him/she/her... all better than the overly obscure IT.

Refer to yourself in the third person once in a while. Makes all the he/him/she/her stuff so much more useful.
Posted December 04, 2014
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Crewdroog: Wait, support role? you mean like a healer? LOL he assumed you were a girl cause you played a healer. Actually, I could see that be frustrating for a guy who likes playing healers.

I had a similar problem in WoW. I had just started playing and joined a guild. Eventually they convinced me to go on voice chat, where they realized I was a girl. One member got super creepy with me and I had to leave. It worked out though, cause it was through that encounter I discovered how awesome the Horde was.

Did you just call me bitchy? I will now destroy you with... tomatoes... *throws tomato* ;)
*grabs tomato* Thanks, i was about to make a salad! :D

Uhm, kind of, there are some healers but that role is (using the current meta) more of "do the boring stuff that one else wants to" since you don't get the gold to buy the good stuff, you need to ward the map, you need to protect the team (and not kill), etc. But the most used support champions are usually the ones with the "cool" grab/stun mechanics...

I don't mind really, in any game that has roles i prefer to be the support guy, in tf2 i was mostly enginner and medic, on Battlefield i was mostly medic, suppport (for ammo) and enginner, in coop rpg's (and some mmorpgs) i'm the healer guy, etc.
Most of the times i don't even get a thank you or a good job but when i do it's just enough for the other times because i know that person really understood the the importance of my role.
Posted December 04, 2014
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Crewdroog: Guys, if people were calling you a girl (in a not mean way), would you correct them? Have you corrected them?
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awalterj: If they are somehow confused I let them know in a way that doesn't embarrass them. It happens very rarely and usually has nothing much to do with what I write but with some kind of mental projection from people who are feeling very lonely.

Here on GOG it happened only once so far, we were all talking about chocolate and I mentioned that I can eat as much as I want without getting fat and a guy suddenly asked me if I'm by any chance a hot single girl. Because what, only girls eat a lot of chocolate? I`m Swiss for crying out loud!

When he realized I'm not a girl, he asked if I had a "hot sister" by any chance. This is actually a much more common thing, in RL guys often ask me if I had a sister (next question: "is she hot?") and it often comes across as somewhat creepy, as if I was going to sell her to them. Seriously, I'm not the Imilchil Moussem market and I won't sell anyone no matter how many sheep you offer.
I usually make a poker face and answer 1000 camels is the price but only if I know that the guy doesn't have camels, otherwise I saw 100'000 camels. No one would pay that many and I don't do the price haggle thing where you tell an astronomic price and then haggle over tea & coffee for hours. My prices are fixed and non-regional and no living things are being sold.
I have 50 sheep. How about 50 sheep?

Yeah, when a girl finds out I am a girl and not a guy, I've never been asked if I have a hot brother. Although you know what, a girl has never flirted with me online. ever. at least, not that I was aware of.
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Crewdroog: Wait, support role? you mean like a healer? LOL he assumed you were a girl cause you played a healer. Actually, I could see that be frustrating for a guy who likes playing healers.

I had a similar problem in WoW. I had just started playing and joined a guild. Eventually they convinced me to go on voice chat, where they realized I was a girl. One member got super creepy with me and I had to leave. It worked out though, cause it was through that encounter I discovered how awesome the Horde was.

Did you just call me bitchy? I will now destroy you with... tomatoes... *throws tomato* ;)
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Cyraxpt: *grabs tomato* Thanks, i was about to make a salad! :D

Uhm, kind of, there are some healers but that role is (using the current meta) more of "do the boring stuff that one else wants to" since you don't get the gold to buy the good stuff, you need to ward the map, you need to protect the team (and not kill), etc. But the most used support champions are usually the ones with the "cool" grab/stun mechanics...

I don't mind really, in any game that has roles i prefer to be the support guy, in tf2 i was mostly enginner and medic, on Battlefield i was mostly medic, suppport (for ammo) and enginner, in coop rpg's (and some mmorpgs) i'm the healer guy, etc.
Most of the times i don't even get a thank you or a good job but when i do it's just enough for the other times because i know that person really understood the the importance of my role.
I've never played the healer role, but I always try to thank them. I really think they are under appreciated in dungeon crawls. I was mostly dps and was trying to learn tanking, but then Pandaria came out and my computer couldn't run the game anymore. I've tried other MMOs, but none have really grabbed me like WoW. So I just will wait until I get a better computer.
Post edited December 04, 2014 by Crewdroog
Posted December 04, 2014
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awalterj: I don't do the price haggle thing where you tell an astronomic price and then haggle over tea & coffee for hours. My prices are fixed and non-regional and no living things are being sold.
I almost choked on chicken soup, that's the best comment I've heard all day... even better than the ones about Judas over in the sale tracker thread!
Posted December 04, 2014
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awalterj:
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Crewdroog: Yeah, when a girl finds out I am a girl and not a guy, I've never been asked if I have a hot brother. Although you know what, a girl has never flirted with me online. ever. at least, not that I was aware of.
Maybe you're not aware of and it has already happened to you. You see, when a guy suddenly asks a girl online "what she is wearing right now", then the situation is super obvious. But girls talk to each other about what they wear very often and no one says it's creepy even if some of the girls who ask each other that could very well be not entirely straight and have ulterior motives. It's a bit like ordering a veggie salad and then there's a worm in it but you'll never know!

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Crewdroog: I have 50 sheep. How about 50 sheep?
Don't insult me with such a low offer.

My main interest for -not- selling off my sister is so that all those hopeless suitor types who came from all over the Wastelands will have to keep offering me gifts and respect.
Reminds me of high school when I noticed how underclassmen whom I didn't even know were suddenly all polite and whatnot when crossing my path and I was like who are all those people, wtf is going on?
It was then brought to my attention that my sister was now a highly valued prize, really comical because people always say that these shy wallflower to popular beauty transformations from Hollywood comedies don't happen in real life. Well apparently, they do. It's just that you don't notice until everyone else does because if it's your siblings you don't view them the same as everyone else does. I'm kidding you not, if I was evil I should have capitalized on that and collect tribute from all those poor guys. But I'm not evil enough to do such things, and proud of it.
Post edited December 04, 2014 by awalterj
Posted December 04, 2014
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Crewdroog: Yeah, when a girl finds out I am a girl and not a guy, I've never been asked if I have a hot brother. Although you know what, a girl has never flirted with me online. ever. at least, not that I was aware of.
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awalterj: Maybe you're not aware of and it has already happened to you. You see, when a guy suddenly asks a girl online "what she is wearing right now", then the situation is super obvious. But girls talk to each other about what they wear very often and no one says it's creepy even if some of the girls who ask each other that could very well be not entirely straight and have ulterior motives. It's a bit like ordering a veggie salad and then there's a worm in it but you'll never know!

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Crewdroog: I have 50 sheep. How about 50 sheep?
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awalterj: Don't insult me with such a low offer.

My main interest for -not- selling off my sister is so that all those hopeless suitor types who came from all over the Wastelands will have to keep offering me gifts and respect.
Reminds me of high school when I noticed how underclassmen whom I didn't even know were suddenly all polite and whatnot when crossing my path and I was like who are all those people, wtf is going on?
It was then brought to my attention that my sister was now a highly valued prize, really comical because people always say that these shy wallflower to popular beauty transformations from Hollywood comedies don't happen in real life. Well apparently, they do. It's just that you don't notice until everyone else does because if it's your siblings you don't view them the same as everyone else does. I'm kidding you not, if I was evil I should have capitalized on that and collect tribute from all those poor guys. But I'm not evil enough to do such things, and proud of it.
I now have this awesome picture of you, sitting on huge cushions, surrounded by tribute in a tent like some sort of sultan of the wastes. You look spectacular!
Post edited December 04, 2014 by Crewdroog
Posted December 04, 2014
It's really up to the individual, some people are really tied up in their gender identity.

Me? I could care less. Honestly, I think it's fun to watch people squirm about in an attempt to be inoffensive in their uncertainty.

As far as the internet is concerned, I'm just words on a screen and I think that gender is really irrelevant to that. However, when it come to sexual partners, I am very upfront about what toys I'm bringing to the party.
Posted December 04, 2014
I really support women gamers, hell, I taught my mom how to play games and now I need a crowbar to get her off my computer!

But I really don't like when I don't know which gender is person who's words am I reading, no matter if they are meant just for me or for everyone.

GOG is absolutely killing me with the lack of gender tags and you ladies are not helpful at all if you're not correcting someone who address you as a dude.
And don't get me started with the nicks...
"Crewdroog" that talks about how (s)he was fishing swordfish! Of course I'm going to think (s)he's a former Texas High quarterback who's hitting the gym at regular base and pumping up.
Coelocanth is a female? Give me a fucking break. "Coelocanth" sounds like a cousin of TreeBeard, a wise ent that is alive for eons and actually seen the world shapes. Or at least a G.R.R. Martin's older brother.

GOG PLEASE GIVE US GENDER TAGS, I HAVE VIVID IMAGINATION, HAVE MERCY!!!
Posted December 04, 2014
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evilnancyreagan: However, when it come to sexual partners, I am very upfront about what toys I'm bringing to the party.
Lol, good to know

And nice to see ya, evilnancy! I feel like I haven't in a long time.
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BranjoHello: I really support women gamers, hell, I taught my mom how to play games and now I need a crowbar to get her off my computer!

But I really don't like when I don't know which gender is person who's words am I reading, no matter if they are meant just for me or for everyone.

GOG is absolutely killing me with the lack of gender tags and you ladies are not helpful at all if you're not correcting someone who address you as a dude.
And don't get me started with the nicks...
"Crewdroog" that talks about how (s)he was fishing swordfish! Of course I'm going to think (s)he's a former Texas High quarterback who's hitting the gym at regular base and pumping up.
Coelocanth is a female? Give me a fucking break. "Coelocanth" sounds like a cousin of TreeBeard, a wise ent that is alive for eons and actually seen the world shapes. Or at least a G.R.R. Martin's older brother.

GOG PLEASE GIVE US GENDER TAGS, I HAVE VIVID IMAGINATION, HAVE MERCY!!!
But branjoHello, tell me how you really feel ;)
Ha! I HAVE gone swordfish fishing. Didn't catch one, but I've gone :) (I love fishing) And a Coelocanth is the "fossil fish".
Post edited December 04, 2014 by Crewdroog
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This is my favourite topic
Community
General discussion (archive)To be or not to be?(68 posts)(68 posts)
(68 posts)