If you were able to sneeze with your eyes opened your eyeballs could pop out.
All right - I bust it myself : ) It's an urban legend : )

This is incorrect. The Mona Lisa had eyebrows when she was painted, but the years and a series of restorations have worn them away.

Thanks for the giveaway!

Fish can get seasick.
Pigs can catch the swine flu from humans.

An elephant keeps his testicles on the inside...like kidneys.

If that's a George Carlin reference, he actually says it's impossible to sneeze and piss at the same time.

AND pigs can't look up.
Anybody with hay fever can bust this one. But if you don't want to clean your toilet, don't verfy it yourself : )

Hehe, I wasn't claiming it was true, I was just correcting the quote ;-)

YES that is a George Carlin reference. I'm pretty sure it was sneeze and fart but I could be wrong.

http://www.cdc.gov/flu/swineflu/h3n2v-fairs-factsheet.htm

Everybody knows you can't lick your own elbow, right?
Wrong.
Some people can lick their own elbows.

When poor Homer logs back on tomorrow and sees what we did to his thread he's going to chuck his computer off a ten story building followed by himself.

Ketchup originates in China and originally did not include tomatoes at all. It was a concoction of pickled fish and spices.

Someone mentioned Al Capone already so I'd like to dispense my favourite piece of trivia: Scarface pioneered printing expiration dates on milk packaging. This article explains it in more detail, but basically the story goes he hated that poor kids in public schools around Chicago were getting sour milk for lunch so he lobbied and pulled his weight around to pass legislation to get pasteurization dates on milk containers.

Not entering the contest by the way, just wanted to share that.

Okay that's just not true. I speak from experience.

Humans can survive without a head. But not for very long.