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Sachys: *points at tinfoil hat
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HypersomniacLive: *short breathed and in trembling voice*

One day... my... my dad... brought home a... green box... it had the... image of a... a cl...cl...clock on one side... its heads... are set at .. at eight o'cl...cl...clock... in...inside were... cho...cho...chocolate m...m...mints... that d...d...did it...
So it was a tinfoil hat and some After Eight mints.... Okay, I guess that would do the trick.

* Puts down shotgun and passes Hyper a nice cup of tea *

You poor man, who knows what horrors you have seen due to that evil product. Those damn evil Italian/German/Japanese/Swiss monsters, if only they could see the damage their evil Axis weapon has caused. The worse part is, it's made from real children, why else would they call it children surprise :-)?
Post edited November 03, 2014 by ddickinson
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awalterj: ...
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ddickinson: That is one evil weapon. I think it must be some cast off from the Second World War, some secret weapon developed by the Germans and the Italians, with the Swiss helping to keep it hidden from the Allied forces. It's an Italian product, with a German name, being fired by a Swiss using a grenade launcher. It also sounds like it could be made from people, the name translates to children surprise. I wonder if you check the ingredients it now says 47% real children.

Although, I can think of a much worse Italian weapon, one that strikes fear in to all who sees it. Those deadly living weapon, the Bob-ombs!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=pqJosN56lhk#t=41
Well, Italians have been designing crazy weapons since the days of Leonardo da Vinci so be prepared for anything.

I checked the ingredients and it says 47% milk chocolate (outer layer) and 53% milk cream (inner layer) so if anything it can be made of 2% children at the most.

But is is an evil weapon for sure, yes, and you need to know how to use it: Against a single soft target, it is best to leave the aluminium wrapping on so as to avoid fragmentation and delay the enemy for a couple seconds while they unwrap the thing. When used against a cluster of enemies, it is best to remove the wrapping beforehand, this will allow for fragmentation upon impact and will keep a group of enemies busy as they scramble to gather up and ingest the fragments of the outer shell.
Underneath the first shell, there’s a petrochemical container which carries the weapon’s 2nd and no less nefarious charge. Enemies will start fighting with each other to get at the contents of the container and once they opened it, they must read warnings in 35 languages and pictorial instructions on how to use the object. It’s always a different object but be aware of the fact that sometimes you get doubles in a 3-pack which is far less effective than if you have 3 different objects. After a little while, both the effect from consuming the biochemical agents and the delay created by interaction with the polymer objects will wear off so this is not a permanent solution but more comparable to other riot control ordnance such as CS grenades.
A couple more pictures:

EDIT: I miscalulated , actually 47% + 53% equals 100% so I have no idea how I'm getting those 2%. Guess that means there's no children inside those eggs, at all!
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Post edited November 04, 2014 by awalterj
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HypersomniacLive: You should also know a thing or two about compiling data. ;-P
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foxworks: *snickers and scammers away (not to be confused with scamming *wink*)
you mean "Scampers"? I don't think one "scammers" away... perhaps you could also "slither" away, or "stammer" (though that would be weird too) ... I question your "scammering"

Oh, and I should "Stammer" a congrats to the winners and a Thanks a Double D :)
Post edited November 04, 2014 by Cyberevil
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foxworks: *snickers and scammers away (not to be confused with scamming *wink*)
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Cyberevil: you mean "Scampers"? I don't think one "scammers" away... perhaps you could also "slither" away, or "stammer" (though that would be weird too) ... I question your "scammering"

Oh, and I should "Stammer" a congrats to the winners and a Thanks a Double D :)
Aye, you might be right about that!

*Poots and runs away
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ddickinson: ....I wonder if you check the ingredients it now says 47% real children.
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awalterj: I checked the ingredients and it says 47% milk chocolate (outer layer) and 53% milk cream (inner layer) so if anything it can be made of 2% children at the most...

... EDIT: I miscalculated , actually 47% + 53% equals 100% so I have no idea how I'm getting those 2%. Guess that means there's no children inside those eggs, at all!
Did it really say 47% milk chocolate? If so then my guess of 47% real children was quite good.

I was originally going to comment on how you seemed to have no problem with it being 2% children, then you went and corrected yourself. As for your argument about it saying nothing about children, have you considered what is in the chocolate? Being Swiss you should know that lots of ingredients go in to make nice chocolate, who knows what their "special" ingredients are. A weapon as evil as that would never admit to use 47% children in their products. Rumour has it, that it was the Swiss who showed the evil Axis powers how to mix children in to the mix and still make it taste like chocolate :-).
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awalterj: Those kids won't get past the Toblerone Line but even if they do, I'll use the grenade launcher to throw Kinder Überraschung eggs at them, an outlawed weapon in the USA but here we still use them to pacify kids. Once they've eaten the chocolate and the little toys inside are revealed, they'll be too busy playing to be after me.
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ddickinson: Before I clicked on the link, I was picturing some huge bars of Toblerone chocolate, blocking their way to your bunker. I'm pretty sure that the Kinder Überraschung egg grenade launcher is banned everywhere, it's even mentioned in the Genova convention :-).
That was what i imagined first too before clicking the link. Great minds think alike. XD

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Ragnarblackmane: So, now that we know both male and female gamers enjoy strategy games, why aren't more of us playing massive multiplayer games of Crusader Kings , Hearts of Iron, and Europa Universalis? ;)
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ddickinson: Because although the girls liked strategy games as a whole, RTS games were among the least preferred of the different sub-genres of strategy games. Many of the ladies preferred turn based over real time strategy. Plus, you guys tend to sulk if we beat you, so it's just easier to leave you to it ;-).
Those are grand strategy games though. ;) Didn't the statistics show neither gender didn't like multiplayer much? So the real reason we aren't playing together is because we're all introverted gamers playing with ourselves. :)
Post edited November 04, 2014 by FoxySage
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FoxySage: Those are grand strategy games though. ;) Didn't the statistics show neither gender didn't like multiplayer much? So the real reason we aren't playing together is because we're all introverted gamers playing with ourselves. :)
Online games was somewhere in the middle of the least liked list. They are not quite the worst genre, but not the most favourite either. MMOs on the other hand, people who took part in the giveaway tended to dislike them.
I enjoy my fair share of MMOs; Ragnarok Online, City of Heroes (R.I.P.), and Marvel Heroes to name a few. I simply wouldn't rank the MMO genre among my favorites is all.
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ddickinson: MMOs on the other hand, people who took part in the giveaway tended to dislike them.
I think that GOGgers in general prefer to feel they own their games, and MMO is the exact opposite of that. I can think of other reasons why people who prefer GOG would dislike MMO.
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awalterj:
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ddickinson: Did it really say 47% milk chocolate? If so then my guess of 47% real children was quite good.

I was originally going to comment on how you seemed to have no problem with it being 2% children, then you went and corrected yourself. As for your argument about it saying nothing about children, have you considered what is in the chocolate? Being Swiss you should know that lots of ingredients go in to make nice chocolate, who knows what their "special" ingredients are. A weapon as evil as that would never admit to use 47% children in their products. Rumour has it, that it was the Swiss who showed the evil Axis powers how to mix children in to the mix and still make it taste like chocolate :-).
Ok I checked again and it says the chocolate is made of sugar, milk powder, cocoa butter, cocoa paste, soy lecithine and vanillin. And the inner white layer is made of sugar, milk powder, vegetable fats (palm & shea), clarified butter, soy lecithine andvanillin. Says nothing about children, unless the "clarified butter" has human fat in it. There's various ways to trick food declaration laws and it's been done all the time though I doubt they use real children because it wouldn't be cost effective.
The only instance of attempted cannibalization of children I can think of in Western Europe is in the infamous Max & Moritz story when those two super trolls prank a baker and the baker then wraps them in bread dough and puts them into the oven - but Max and Moritz escape by eating their way through the dough. Their demise finally comes in the way of a grain mill into which they are thrown and their fragments then get eaten by ducks.
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awalterj: The only instance of attempted cannibalization of children I can think of in Western Europe is in the infamous Max & Moritz story...
Really, you can't think of any other instance. I seem to recall some strong evidence of Swiss baby eating in my previous Swiss themed giveaway. I will just leave this picture here. I think you will agree that the idea for it must have come from somewhere. In fact, I wonder if this is how the Swiss tradition of using children in chocolate started ;-).

http://www.gog.com/upload/forum/2014/09/a397ca364f59ce04e5ba47217b1103d3bf513556.jpg
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ddickinson: Really, you can't think of any other instance. I seem to recall some strong evidence of Swiss baby eating in my previous Swiss themed giveaway. I will just leave this picture here. I think you will agree that the idea for it must have come from somewhere. In fact, I wonder if this is how the Swiss tradition of using children in chocolate started ;-).

http://www.gog.com/upload/forum/2014/09/a397ca364f59ce04e5ba47217b1103d3bf513556.jpg
Hmm ok, I guess that could count as cannibalism but the Kindlifresser is a raw foodist and those aren't taken all too seriously over here.
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awalterj: Hmm ok, I guess that could count as cannibalism but the Kindlifresser is a raw foodist and those aren't taken all too seriously over here.
Maybe he started off as a raw foodist, then one day he dipped one in some chocolate. From that day hence, the Swiss cannibalistic chocolate tradition was born. But as it was not widely adopted, it went underground, resurfacing during the Second World War and being used by the Axis in the creation of the dreaded Kinder Überraschung weapon :-).
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awalterj: Hmm ok, I guess that could count as cannibalism but the Kindlifresser is a raw foodist and those aren't taken all too seriously over here.
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ddickinson: Maybe he started off as a raw foodist, then one day he dipped one in some chocolate. From that day hence, the Swiss cannibalistic chocolate tradition was born. But as it was not widely adopted, it went underground, resurfacing during the Second World War and being used by the Axis in the creation of the dreaded Kinder Überraschung weapon :-).
Back in the mid to late 16th century, chocolate must have been an absolute rarity in Switzerland but it is possible that someone might have gotten their hands on a couple beans from a returning New World explorer and made hot chocolate out of it in which to dip kids. As an industry, the production of chocolate didn't really take off here until about 200 years ago.
Anyway, I forgot to share a picture of my final loot from eating the three Kinder eggs, sadly two of the eggs contained the same toys so I feel a bit cheated.

Here's an interesting fact that shows a few cultural differences between the Italians and Germans:

When an Italian soldier throws a Kinder Überraschung grenade, the frag-out shout he uses is simply "sorpresa!" (=surprise) and when a German soldier does the same thing, he yells: "Vollmilchschokoladenhohlkörper!" (=whole milk chocolate hollow body)
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loot.jpg (57 Kb)
Post edited November 04, 2014 by awalterj
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awalterj: ...
There are legends that say eating babies and children can extend a persons life and even make a person immortal. If this were true, then he could have been around during the introduction of chocolate to Switzerland. Who knows where this immortal Kinder eater is now :-).

It seems rather lazy that they give multiple toys of the same kind in a multipack. Usually a production line would have a system in place to ensure a different toy each time. If Kinder are being lazy and just randomly picking the eggs, then they run the risk of having all three toys the same.

On the bright side, you can have a killer (whale) water fight with a friend! :-)
Post edited November 04, 2014 by ddickinson