I was assuming that was a joke, it sounded too over the top & naive to be serious

Yeah. You're probably right mr Ozzy.
But then again it's also naive to assume that everyone you meet (especially on the interwebz) has a three digit IQ...

I'd have thought it was a joke as well based on the first sentence. But that last one...

I thank you for the time that you have offered, most kind. How what?
I shall give you more time to elaborate.
Of course it was tongue in cheek but you should also look at the basic principle, not the narrow minded "DRM is shit" view.
Why was DRM made? The answer, apart from ridiculous immature respnses such as "To make us unhappy" etc, etc, is quite obvious. DRM was designed to help stop or lessen piracy.
Note I have not offered my own view so flaming is not required at this point.

Ok, I know the Why of DRM, at least the motivational part of it.
But I specifically asked for the How part.
So How does including DRM on a product help increase sales?

Theoretically it stops piracy, both professional & casual
Practically it makes pro pirates laugh, makes casual pirates use torrents and makes the rest of us pay more per purchase

I have never even read a sound theory as to how including DRM on any product will decrease unpaid downloads and increase legal purchases.

Well in theory the completely uncrackable DRM would frustrate pirates with its forcefield of awesomeness and so the illegal downloads would be cut off at the source. The average filthy enemy thief on the street would then have to go without or buy it and we all know how filthy enemy thieves can't resist flashing lights and pretty colours and so a sale is practically assured.
The problem with the theory of course is that its based on the completely uncrackable DRM...

So the theory in itself is already faulty, therefore not a sound theory.

Starforce destroyed 2 of my DVD drives. It definitely had something to do with my Alcohol 52%, but I was unaware of it at that time
Anyway, first drive died thanks to some starforce game I installed. It was unable to read my DVDs anymore, so I got a second DVD reader/CD writer. That one also died soon, after about 4 months. After doing some research, I realised Starforce causes this. From then on, I avoided Starforce games like the plague

Unfortunately EA and 2K think you're wrong. Actually, kudos to Ubisoft on making the latest POP game DRM-less

Playstation 3. Of course that doesnt prove the theory, since the PS3 isnt doing great sales wise, but that is a different issue. Game wise though, the Playstation 3 is completely uncrackable.

I'm sure I've read about PS3 modchips, do they not let you play pirated stuff?

The thing about these PS3 ISOs is that Blu-ray blank discs are still so darned expensive, it's actually cheaper to buy the PS3 gams legit. I think.

I don't think that point is lost on anyone. What IS lost on most of us is how anyone thinks it actually works towards that end, as it obviously doesn't. I don't believe many people are opining that DRM is put there to 'make us unhappy' etc. But when the DRM scheme is only problematic to legitimate buyers, there's a rather large and obvious problem with it.
So I don't really see your point here. Are you implying that because people understand why (supposedly) DRM was made/designed that they shouldn't complain about it, when it has little to no impact on its intended targets?