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General discussion (archive)Tell A Joke(138 posts)(138 posts)
(138 posts)
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This is my favourite topic
Posted November 27, 2014
Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.

For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.

For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.

For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg.

As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.
Posted November 27, 2014
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Sir.Braka: Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.

For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.

For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.

For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg.

As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.
You're into dark humour, I guess...

Here's mine:
A Tachyon!
Who's there?
Knock, knock.
Posted November 27, 2014
I don't feel well, so I go to my doctor. He examines me and says, "I'm having trouble figuring out the cause of your troubles. Frankly, I think it's because of the drinking."

I said, "Doc, I'd be happy to come back when you're sober!"
Posted November 27, 2014
Jon Bon Jovi...
Posted November 27, 2014
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Sir.Braka: Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.

For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.

For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.

For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg.

As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.
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jdsgn: You're into dark humour, I guess...

Here's mine:
A Tachyon!
Who's there?
Knock, knock.
lol :)

Also begs the question, why is Tachyon the Fringe not on gog :(

Here's mine :

Patient : Doctor, I cant feel my legs!
Doctor : That's because we cut off your hands :)
Posted November 27, 2014
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jdsgn: You're into dark humour, I guess...

Here's mine:
A Tachyon!
Who's there?
Knock, knock.
avatar
F1ach: lol :)

Also begs the question, why is Tachyon the Fringe not on gog :(

Here's mine :

Patient : Doctor, I cant feel my legs!
Doctor : That's because we cut off your hands :)
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Posted November 27, 2014
I swear it is not a joke, it REALLY happened to me:

I was working myself in tech-support for a rather big company having their own tech-support hotline.

It was in the dark ages of Win 95.

A new update, concerning networking has just been applied and the computer asked me to restart.

So I did.

Guess what, it didn´t work, it always got me back to the normal desktop.

I tried quite a few things (except turning off as we all remember how good W95 handled this.....)

So I decided to call tech-support

I told them the problem and the first thing I got back as an answer:

Have you tried to restart your computer?
Posted November 27, 2014
A man walks into a bar...

And he says, 'Owwww!'


LOL
Posted November 27, 2014
Another real life experience:

I was working away from my usual computer and telephone, so in a different country with new computer and telephone.

When I got back for sure I have forgotten my password for the computer and the voice mail.

Never mind I thought, called out tech-support and told them, that I need new passwords.

Guess their reply:

Sorry we can´t do, we need either your email to send you the password for the voice mail or you being able to listen to your voicemail, that we can leave the password for the email there.

It ONLY took them 1 day to figure out this problem :P

good old short one:

When do you know a politician is lying?

His lips are moving!
Post edited November 27, 2014 by Goodaltgamer
Posted November 27, 2014
Behold, this one is so bad it hurts:

A skeleton goes to a bar and says 'A beer and a rag, please!'.
Posted November 27, 2014
Guy goes to a doctor and says, "Ya gotta help me; every time I drink tea I get a stabbing pain in my left eye."

Doc says, "Take the spoon out of your cup."

---

Guy one: "The last time I went camping I got snowed in and had to live on a can of beans for a week."

Guy two: "Wow! Weren't you afraid of falling off?"

---
Posted November 27, 2014
GOG notifications.
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Emob78: A man walks into a bar...

And he says, 'Owwww!'

LOL
Demonstration.
Post edited November 27, 2014 by Grargar
Posted November 27, 2014
There once was a man from Nantucket
And the stories about him were greatly exaggerated
Posted November 27, 2014
I hope this isn't too riskay!

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.
Posted November 27, 2014
I like to make the little things count.. that's why I teach arithmetic to dwarves.
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This is my favourite topic
Community
General discussion (archive)Tell A Joke(138 posts)(138 posts)
(138 posts)