Okay, since I saw the "naked blonde" joke above, I guess blonde jokes are allowed, so, here it goes...

Emergency responders were called to the local mall after the power went out today. Two blondes were stuck on an escalator.

You can always make the joke politically correct replacing "blonde" with <insert here your joke target group of people>.


For example: do you know why <insert here your joke target group of people>s do not call the 911? They still haven't figured out where is the 11....

That reminds me of all the morons who stand still on travellators, who as far as I'm concerned, are just as stupid.

Edit: People who stand still on travellators are so dumb, sometimes they think they don't even need to use the travellator; "wait a minute, we can just stand here next to the travellator and wait for the Earths rotation to take us to our destination".

Why was Mr. T dismissed from jury duty?

The prosecutors were afraid he would show too much pity.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Snowflakes.
Q: What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A: A Christmas Quacker.
Q: What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A: Santa Pause!
Q: Where does a snowman keep his money?
A: In a snow bank.
Q: How do you scare a snowman?
A: You get a hairdryer!
Q: How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A: Nothing, it was on the house!
Q: What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A: A puddle!
Q: Why does Santa have three gardens?
A: So he can go HOE HOE HOE.
Q: What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Kringle.
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: Santa covered with chimney soot.
Q: Why is Santa so good at karate?
A: Because he has a black belt!
Q: What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A: A humbug.

Cowhouse in arabic?

Mubarak.

A philosopher walks into a bar. The man holding it says "That's what you get for being such a smart arse!"

Here a thread from 2009 full of them, Just posting it because some are pretty good

http://www.gog.com/forum/general/corny_jokes_put_em_here/page1

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two."


Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.


He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."

Evolution of philosophy...

Aristotle: What does it mean to be a good person?

Descartes: What does it mean to be?

Nieztche: What does it mean?

Russel: What does "it" mean?

Lewis: What does it?


Nowadays... What?!?

Q. How does NASA organize a party?
A. They planet

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Oedipus.

Oedipus who?

Oedipus, shmedipus, so long as he loves his mother.

A classic... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo

Mother, mother, come quick and see the big ugly moose I shoot out in the backyard.
Mother!
..
Mother!
.
.
Mother.
.
.
.
Mother?