Posted January 08, 2010
So, I'm sure most of you have heard about the Christmas day failed airline bombing attempt, but did you hear about the "Gilligan's Island threat" that caused NORAD to scramble a pair of fighter jets to escort a plane bound for Hawaii back to Portland, Oregon on Wednesday?
Here's the deal: guy and his girlfriend board a plane for Hawaii. They get seated in an emergency exit row. Flight attendants tell him he can't store his carry-on bag under his seat. He complains, but concedes. During the course of the flight, he fills out a customer comment card and turns it in to one of the flight attendants in a sealed envelope. The flight attendant takes the comment card, heads towards the front of the plane, opens it and reads it. She is so horrified by what she reads that she turns it over to the head flight attendant, who in turns feels it is worthy of sharing with the captain. He is so horrified that he declares an emergency, turns the plane around and heads back to Portland. NORAD, as part of the standard procedure for dealing with in-flight threats, scrambles a pair of fighter jets to intercept and escort the plane back to Portland. Upon landing, the passengers, who have been told the plane was having mechanical issues, de-plane and the man and his girlfriend are promptly detained by the FBI. The plane gets refueled, the rest of the passenger are allowed back on and it goes on its merry way to Hawaii. In the meantime, the man has now been charged with "interference with the performance and duties of a flight crew member or attendant", which carries a maximum penalty of 20 years in jail and a $250.000 fine.
Okay, now for the important part, here's what the comment card actually said:
"I thought I was going to die, we were so high up,I thought to myself: I hope we don't crash and burn or worse yet landing in the ocean, living through it, only to be eaten by sharks, or worse yet, end up on some place like Gilligan's Island, stranded, or worse yet, be eaten by a tribe of headhunters, speaking of headhunters, why do they just eat outsiders, and not the family members? Strange ... and what if the plane ripped apart in mid-flight and we plumited to earth, landed on Gilligan's Island and then lived through it, and the only woman there was Mrs. Thurston Howell III? No Mary Anne (my favorite) no Ginger, just Lovey! If it were just her, I think I'd opt for the sharks, maybe the headhunters."
This is what now constitutes a threat worthy of jail time and fighter jets, my friends. The terrorists have won, they have killed our collective sense of humor.
Here's the deal: guy and his girlfriend board a plane for Hawaii. They get seated in an emergency exit row. Flight attendants tell him he can't store his carry-on bag under his seat. He complains, but concedes. During the course of the flight, he fills out a customer comment card and turns it in to one of the flight attendants in a sealed envelope. The flight attendant takes the comment card, heads towards the front of the plane, opens it and reads it. She is so horrified by what she reads that she turns it over to the head flight attendant, who in turns feels it is worthy of sharing with the captain. He is so horrified that he declares an emergency, turns the plane around and heads back to Portland. NORAD, as part of the standard procedure for dealing with in-flight threats, scrambles a pair of fighter jets to intercept and escort the plane back to Portland. Upon landing, the passengers, who have been told the plane was having mechanical issues, de-plane and the man and his girlfriend are promptly detained by the FBI. The plane gets refueled, the rest of the passenger are allowed back on and it goes on its merry way to Hawaii. In the meantime, the man has now been charged with "interference with the performance and duties of a flight crew member or attendant", which carries a maximum penalty of 20 years in jail and a $250.000 fine.
Okay, now for the important part, here's what the comment card actually said:
"I thought I was going to die, we were so high up,I thought to myself: I hope we don't crash and burn or worse yet landing in the ocean, living through it, only to be eaten by sharks, or worse yet, end up on some place like Gilligan's Island, stranded, or worse yet, be eaten by a tribe of headhunters, speaking of headhunters, why do they just eat outsiders, and not the family members? Strange ... and what if the plane ripped apart in mid-flight and we plumited to earth, landed on Gilligan's Island and then lived through it, and the only woman there was Mrs. Thurston Howell III? No Mary Anne (my favorite) no Ginger, just Lovey! If it were just her, I think I'd opt for the sharks, maybe the headhunters."
This is what now constitutes a threat worthy of jail time and fighter jets, my friends. The terrorists have won, they have killed our collective sense of humor.
