I was raised Catholic for most of my early childhood. My mom was a late-in-life convert. Very devout. Very militant. I had to go to CCD on Saturday mornings. I was questioning it from about the third grade onward when I stopped believing in the tooth fairy and Santa Claus, but my mom kept dragging me to church and CCD despite many, many long, annoying protests.

I didn't get the guts to approach the priest about it until I was about to make confirmation, which I didn't really want to do because I didn't believe in the religion at all. He wound up telling off my mom for being so militant that she probably wound up turning me off to religion even more than withdrawing me from CCD and letting me skip church once in a while would have done. I kind of felt ripped off, since CCD ends after confirmation. If I'd reported it sooner, I'd have probably been able to knock off a few more of those years I wasted trying to flunk out on purpose. @_@

After that, in my experience I've found Catholics are only worse when you're on the inside. From an outside perspective, they don't tend to go out of their way to recruit people. I've gone to a number of Catholic church staff for various reference assignments. There was never any pressure to join or attend Mass even directly interacting with the people running it. This was consistent through at least six different churches, which was actually pretty nice.

Actually, the people who've given me problems have nearly all been Baptists and Megachurch attendees instead. I actually made the mistake of going to one once. The girl who invited me would not stop telling me I needed to go back until I gave her a very, very stern lecture. There were also a TON of solicitors. These places were like churches run by very pushy marketers. @_@

I dunno man. I'm an atheist in the US, and I don't get shunned even though I'm open about it,. Then again, I am awesome. I bet if I would walk into a church right now and said " hey everybody! I am atheist" everybody would say "me too then!" and then walk out because that's how much people want to be like me. I'm not bragging or anything, I'm just sayin....

anyways...I don't have anything useful to say except that Godless by Dan Barker is a good book and I recommend it. Maybe your family should read it( though that book is more about fundamentalists. I don't know exactly how "big time christians" the members of your family are)

http://www.amazon.com/Godless-Evangelical-Preacher-Americas-Atheists/dp/1569756775/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1360366327&sr=8-1&keywords=godless+dan+barker

It can be. Do you have Netflix instant watch? The Atheism Tapes was a 6 hours of unused material from a previous BBC show, but so much of it was "good" that they went back and put it into show form. I think you'd really enjoy the 3 philosophers (Dawkins and the Jewish guy were pretty boring and not useful) and it'll maybe give you some of the dialog and ways of expressing yourself without offending people that you need to still converse with your family. Instead of it being a contentious thing you might find a way to communicate with those around you.

Know this, though, some people will react viciously regardless of you being polite. They don't hate you, this is their own insecurity. With that said, there's no reason to suffer that viciousness any more than you have to (i.e. the initial time during which you come to understand this about them), so remove yourself from interacting with them. If they won't leave you alone you can always point out the irony of you trying to act "Christ-like" while being an unbeliever and ask them if that's what they think Jesus spent his meals with publicans and sinners acting like;)
In general you're right, but this is about family views here, and having a mostly religious family that cannot fathom you being an atheist can happen just about anywhere. I know this situation and I assure you, she'll just cry quietly in private or to her religious friends who will praise her longsuffering.

I.E. You're not going to get to see that look. You probably wouldn't want to anyway, doesn't matter that they're the unreasonable one.

I think it has alot to do with the militant "atheists", really antitheists, to whom atheism is something to jihad for. Like that guy in ohio who took offense to a neighbor's christmas decorations and attempted to force their removal. Those are the guys most people think of when they hear "atheist" just like when an atheist hears christian they picture a guy in white armor and a red cross emblem raising a sword. The "I don't believe in god so how dare you be so ignorant as to have one even though you aren't bothering me?" types.
The ones who have to "save" everybody from having religion, by the sword if they can't be made to see light any other way.

Some and unfortunately these are by far the most visible and vocal modern atheists are like old timy christians, All new religions crusade and convert at first, young religions are the most fanatical and to some atheists atheism is a religion and they feel compelled to prove their god is strongest.

Just as many nutjob atheists as in any other group.

Are we now talking about jews or just any people who believe in God (pick your favorite branch of abrahamic religion)? :)

Anyhow, ive long since removed my own religious opinions from strictly any single religion - the last couple thousand years have made especially the history of abrahamic religions...somewhat muddy. If i had to pick one religion, I suppose my own thoughts would be most similar to some mundane buddhism. Although jews and muslims have had some pretty slick thinkers in the past as well.

But whatever the case maybe, should God of one sort or other exist - I highly doubt believing in any particular religion would make difference. I find it highly questionable, that some omnipotent entity that could create the whole university could be as small minded as many religious authorities make it sound.

Oh noes. I have not been baptised, and my life has been an everlasting agony because of that. Don't do it. I beg you.

Plus, I have Satan in me. It itches like mad.

o/ me too!

Our kids can later choose what they want to believe or not - if you really find faith at some point in your life, that kind of thing is hardly obstacle. Also, if having church wedding feels like obstacle for getting married, well, then its probably better to find partner elsewhere.

Anyway memories and presents can be had elsewhere as well - not only at church.
Scratch the itch - daily dose: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2whYG814c2Y

Haha. This tickles.

This really. They aren't bad people, they're just kinda pushy to their members, especially strict Irish families like mine. Leaving is pretty much considered a disgrace, in my experience at least.

I'm all the more glad I got out of there early on. And also that I had a priest who was pretty reasonable and level-headed.

I don't know if this helps, as I come from a very different background than you do, but there was a time when I felt very uncomfortable or annoyed whenever anyone asked me to participate in any sort of religious ritual or ceremony, even as a silent participant. Over the years, though, I've started to place more value on what people mean, than on the outward form of what they say and do. So before I decide if I agree or disagree with something, I first "translate" it into my own language and then decide how I feel about that.

So now, if someone wants to hold hands and say grace, I do it, because feeling thankful for the food you eat is a good thing, and I'm not all that fussed about the particular words others choose to express that feeling. If someone tells me they'll pray for me, I thank them, because as a sentiment it's not all that different from saying "I hope things work out for you", and that's a kind and neighbourly thing to say. (Assuming they mean it, of course - I'm well aware of how those words can be used as a covert way of saying "fuck you".) If someone asks me to speak aloud some words of praise to their specific God(s), I still decline - but I explain that I am declining out of respect for said God(s), as I would consider it dishonest and rude to speak words of praise that I did not believe in my heart.

So if you stop thinking in terms of what your family says, and start thinking in terms of what values they express, you may find that there are a still a number of things that you can agree with them about. Shorn of religious and cultural trappings, we mostly share the same fundamental human cares and weaknesses, and we shouldn't allow anything as artificial and superficial as language to prevent us from realizing that.

Have a +1, good sirrah.

Give it some time, deathknight1728, maybe your family will come to terms with it. Try to stay civil, the only thing going on the offensive is going to do is burn bridges farther. You might find this site useful: http://www.ex-christian.net/ I haven't visited there but I hear it is a good site.

Listen to Azilut

I'm older - in my 40s - and most relatives are religious unlike me. I find it's just easiest to go along with the religious things as part of cultural happenings during holidays and so forth. The relatives who know me I think "know" my views and where I'm coming from, but we don't make a big deal out of it. I respect them and give them room, and they do the same for me.

One discouraging thing is I find it difficult to be myself around my brother's kids because I'm afraid I might influence them in ways his religious family wouldn't like. I'm guarded as a result. It's amazing how many little things can come up when you're talking to little kids and you want to start talking about how cool you think science is, and then you realize trying to talk about things like dinosaurs, the ice age, evolution, astronomy, time, the right way to act, right/wrong even - how it's easy to get into territory that you just can't talk about if you want to respect a religious upbringing.

But here's the thing - they're all good people - and they're family. We're all different. I can't change them and they can't change me no matter how irritating I may be. But we're still family.