booze or sleeping pills

not sure how to put in words. But i get so uneasy around people. Its a really weird feeling. I start sweating and heart racing and then nervous feeling. That when i go in a store i have to go in and get at as fast as i can or else i start i guess panicking. its really odd. but something i cant deal with any more.

I'm sorry to hear that. How long has this been happening? Is there a point where this started? Have you been able to make any real-life friends?

I guess meds might help, but sometimes they can actually make things worse, or you can become dependent on them etc. But if they are the only choice, perhaps it would be for the best.

Depends on whether it's actual diagnosed social anxiety or just a severe form of shyness. I thought I had SA in my high school and early university days, but it turned out that I only needed to socialise more, and that I'd been reading too many articles and message boards about it. Non-clinical anxiety can be easily cured, but it tends to keep you stuck in a vicious circle: you feel awkward because of your social skills so you avoid people, and you can never develop social skills if you keep avoiding people.

But I've known some people with real SA and I agree, it can be a tough one to beat without proper medication.

This might sound a bit ridiculous, but if you don't already - try wearing sunglasses when in public. And if you wear prescription lenses, get prescription lense sunglasses. It's almost like hiding in plain sight while in public.

dont have any sunglasses right now. plus i dont like them for some reason. and i dont were glasses.


edit: thanks guys for replying ima try to sleep again. wish me luck. i feel like im crashing so i hope for some sleep thsi time

Well, actual social anxiety disorder isn't going to just "go away" with sheer willpower, the same way someone with Diabetes isn't going to have that disease go away if he thinks hard enough that it's "all in their head". Man the worst thing someone can do is treat mental illness different than physical illness, they're the same thing! Sure there's sometimes psychological issues deep down, but it's just a chemical problem in the brain, medication just helps to calm it down so the person can slowly readjust to social situations without it becoming a horrible experience.

I use valerian pills (combined with humulus). It is a herbal drug with a calming effect and helps me go to sleep and sleep better.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valerian_%28herb%29 (according to the article it even should help against anxiety)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humulus

I even use a light dosed pill in the morning to prevent stress induced blood pressure issues at work. Just before going to bed I take a higher dosed variant.

I have my own private gym and I workout before bed. Usually I am asleep as soon as I lie down. However there are days when then there is something dwelling on my mind and no matter how exhausted I am, I can't seem to sleep.

I don't drink alcohol other than on social occasions but I find that some chamomile tea helps immensely in occasions when my eyes refuse to shut.

I developed very severe SAD due to an incident where my SAD was co-morbid with PTSD. I was attacked by a mob and it was the few friends that helped me cope.

I got into pick up and lifestyle improvement. I realise that some might look at it with a sense of contempt but it is not always about the women. Especially for people like me, it helped me get my life back.

I'd recommend:
Melatonin - Can be difficult to wake up from, depending on the individual. That is, can lead to grogginess the following morning.
Valerian - Smells like dirty socks, but it kicks a strong herbal punch. Go to sleep right after taking it though, I find if I stay up 30 mins afterwards, it loses it's effectiveness.
Chamomile tea or jasmine tea or even make your own tea using both. Jasmine makes for a very soothing cup, good for just calming down. There's quite a few herbs that lend themselves to calming, relaxing, and drowsiness that mix well and reinforce each other.
Meclizine - Actually for motion sickness, however has a very handy side effect of knocking you out. Useful pill.
Exercise - Put the energy to good use doing something constructive, plus the endorphins released put everything in a more positive light which just makes life seem better in general.
Meditation - Yes it sounds cheesy, but it helps slow your mind down which can be just what you need. Even 10 minutes can be extremely helpful. Try some of the YouTube channels that are full of ambient or nature sounds.
Yoga - Yes, yes, I know, more New Age shit, but it does help. Both Yoga and simply stretching can be admirably effective. Plus they have the added benefit of improving your dexterity. Stat training ftw.

Please be aware that herbs do still have side-effects and should not be used just willy-nilly. They may be all natural but so is belladonna, foxglove, and cyanide. Be careful, read up before taking anything, and ask first if you have any questions, whether online or in person. Certain herbs that are very useful, are also very potent; for instance something like St. John's Wort should not be taken if you have high blood pressure.

Also, make a pattern of using your bed only for sleeping (and obvious other recreational activities). Reading in bed, or doing work in bed can be extremely detrimental as then your body goes, "oh good I'm at the place where I do stuff. What do I need to do?"

If it keeps happening, I strongly recommend picking some new constructive thing to do. Whether that's a new work out routine, learning to paint, playing a new instrument, trying to learn a new language (I recommend Duolingo), teaching yourself Python, carving wood objects, learning to cook, reading about a new science topic, hell even learning to change a car tire, it's all good and it's all useful. It especially helps if you are just generally feeling frustrated. Pick some new skill, give it a solid attempt, and then you can go, "ha! Look at what I can do now. I could not do that before but now I can. I have learned a cool new thing, and I am awesome for being able to do it. Check that out." Helps your self-confidence, gives you peace of mind, enables you to either know or be able to do something that you couldn't before, and just in general adds to the quality of your life. It's basically a win-win, that will also help you fall asleep.

I'd also recommend valerian pills or root extract. It does stink, and doesn't always have the same effect on every user, but if it does work for you, it really works. Some people have little effect at all with it, but others swear by it. Plus it supposedly has some anti-anxiety benefits as well, so it couldn't hurt to try it.

Try that with a shot of warm milk at night before bed. The valerian alkaloids mixed with the slow release calcium from the milk should put you into a near-coma state in no time.

*It's also lifestyle as well. Playing video games and chugging mountain dew until 4 AM is not usually a good recipe for relaxed sleep. Try changing your routine a little. If you can't eliminate bad eating habits, then at least set aside sugary foods and sedentary activities when you can actually afford to do them. Make time for exercise and a good diet... not just cramming taco bell so you can have more free time with the Xbox. After a while your new routine won't be so extreme and you'll get used to being tired at the right times. Your body is telling you something when you can't sleep when you're supposed to. Listen to it.*

Try getting to adopt a reading habit before you got to bed. Works for me! If you can really get into a book it really calms you.
There are number of brilliant novels in whatever genre you want that make for great bed fellows. Perhaps you read already I don't know? If you're into sci-fi, then consider 'Dune' (Frank Herbert) or 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep' (Philip K Dick).

I need to be prescribed a new bed. This one gives my back the big middle finger after about three hours and after that it's 5-10 minute catnaps the rest of the night, interspersed with waking up to move.

And then, at some point, my brain clicks on. Get some stupid song in my head, start thinking about work, you name it. Friggin' hate it. So getting to sleep isn't much problem, but staying that way surely is.

When I get back from this trip I'm going to sleep in the guest bedroom for a full week and see what that does. Need to get some dark shades in there since the sun is brightening the room earlier these days.

Just to add my thoughts, I would definitely suggest trying melatonin or something herbal before trying prescription medication - melatonin is naturally occurring in the body and is part of the governance of your circadian rhythms, so should be less (potentially) damaging than prescription meds.

Secondly, exercise and/or yoga - doesn't have to be before bed, though yoga before bed is pretty relaxing, but adding a regular 30mins of exercise to your day can help make it easier to fall asleep at night.

Thirdly, I don't mean this to sound ridiculous, but are there any films you have fallen asleep watching before? For me, it's The Fellowship of the Ring. Now I love this film, but it seems to just make me sleep, usually before the hobbits first encounter the ringwraiths in the woods - hasn't failed me yet.

Finally, do you smoke tobacco? I found that when I stopped smoking, my occasional insomnia was essentially cured and my falling asleep time dropped from 20-30mins to about 5. This has held up over time.


However if it's stress related then any of the above might just be masking the problem. It's funny how things present in different ways - I've had a lot of stress in the last month which has manifested itself by my grinding my teeth in my sleep, something I'm not aware of ever doing before.

Hope this helps