Bullying has been around for generations. Social, economic, geological, physical, and statuses have been picked on, beat up, tortured, terrorized, murdered, etc. The bullying mentality is a generally disliked attitude through most cultures, though present. As evidence of this, looking at the human history throughout the wars, forming of nations, etc, you cannot help but see bullying in some way or another. In modern times, many of the best selling movies involve the hero either getting vengence from some sort of bully (person, organization, government, etc), and rising up to beat them (ie: Rocky movies).

There's been a recent trend in media that's shifted focus on "bullying". There are new laws in place in different countries to try to limit and control bullying. Many of the victims of these malicious attempts have made international headlines, local newspapers, and flooded social media. Everyone's heard this new "Anti-bullying" mentality.

But is this "Anti-bully" campaign really doing any good? Or does it simply change which side contains the bullies? Has it encouraged a healthy mentality, or forced us deeper down the rabbit hole of negativity?

When a group of victims to bullying rise up and band together, it can bring a sense of unitedness... a goal to eliminate an unjust action. But more often, this brings up more anger and hatred within those victims. Soon, they turn to retribution against the bullies, perhaps even bringing actions that surpass the original offense.

On the side of the victims, many have responded by taking a different path. Suicide. My heart goes out to the families and friends of those that commit suicide. It is never an easy thing to handle, nor will it be. But to be honest, there is a line that crossed. Suicide, by definition, is the intentional taking of one's own life. No amount of bullying can cause suicide. It will always be the choice of the person committing it- otherwise it'd be called murder. Suicide only harms those that care about the person.

The media has been casting the people who commit suicide as modern day martyrs, placing them on a pedestal of innocence rather than the reality- murderer of a worthless person(themselves). Now, before you get mad at this comment and quote it out of context, please let me explain.

The issue is not about bullying. It's not about suicide. It's not even about the injustice inflicted an people throughout the world.

It's about placing value in yourself and others.

If we put value in each other- make an effort to tell those we care about, think about, know and love- and show them that worth, it would change everything. In most cases, it would keep the someone from committing suicide. They would feel their worth, and realize the pain they cause their family and friends by committing suicide. Bullies would love instead of hate. Nothing would take the value away from the person. Nobody would be "worthless".

"Anti-bullying" is trying cure a symptom, not the cause

It’s our choice. Chose to teach our children to love, to build in others rather than destroy. Give the future generations worth. Help them to know that others have worth as well.

End of rant.

"claps"

Personally, I think the best thing is to bring the parents involved and for the schools to offer support and maybe teach kids how they can survive i the digital world and healthy coping skills (even that should come from the parents). Whether people like it or not technology is here to stay, but I don't think any amount of cyber-bullying laws will help. They may help discourage it, but it won't stop the bullying and seem more for the sake of making politicians and activists feel better about themselves. BTW, harassment and libel is already illegal, enforce whatever laws are already on the books.

As someone who had a friend commit suicide, who's been bullied for a couple of years as a kid, and who's talked to many other victims, I wholeheartedly disagree.

I think you are taking a very idealistic perspective to a very real and very pragmatic problem. I'm sorry, but I consider your statement "If we would put value in each other, it would stop most suicides" as very naive. On which data do you base this assumption?

"Putting value in each other" may help patching someone up who's been hurt, but if the bullying continues, then it's very likely to not help very much after a while. With your theory that "anti-bullying just cures the symptom"; you're actually focusing away from the very real _cause_ of the damage, which is the bullying. That's not helpful, imho.

I agree with you that rising up as a mob and trying to ostracize the bully isn't the best solution either (and the tendency of the media and the Internet to do exactly that may have triggered your post). You obviously need to have something positive which can take the place of the bullying. But offering something positive _without_ tackling the bullying won't help, sorry.

Edit: And I don't want to even start commenting on your statement that equals a suicide a "murder of a worthless person". This comment is so detestable, so misogynistic, so inhumane, so completely unacceptable, that I just want to remove it from memory and hit the ignore button if this forum had one. I'm already sorry that I watched your voices video, and that I actually posted links to it elsewhere to give you a bit of popularity. Sorry, but that's how I feel. Right at this moment, I just hope to never read from you again.

No.

Kick it out. Stop bullying full stop.

Agreed.

As somebody who was bullied relentlessly though all of my school years, I can tell you that bullying made me the person I am today. That and discipline. My dad probably beat me a lot more mercilessly than was necessary, and oftentimes it was simply because my sister wanted to see me get in trouble whether I actually did something or not, but without both of these influences, I think I'd have grown up a very different person.

Life is hard. If a kid can't learn to deal with bullies, what chance do they stand in the real world?

I don't think you need to be so harsh with the man... Nonetheless, I agree with you.

It sounded to me as if the base idea of the text ended up as "when we make a perfect world, bullying will stop". Sure, when everyone is happy, there will be no reason for bullying, crimes, wars... But then, it doesn't look like we're getting to that, does it?

Bullying is a problem that has always existed, and has never been put in such light before, but only because it's damage to society may seem limited.

First thing, most bullying victims don't commit suicide. I know, I'm one, and I have never thought too hard about killing myself. Most, though, do have some dysfunctions later on. I'm trying hard to fight it, but I still have some issues with social acceptance and self-confidence. These are some of the reasons that have, until now, prevented me from getting a job for at least an year, even though I graduated from the top college in my country. A very productive member of society, ain't I now?

So, it's not society's greatest problem ever, I can give you that. But it is a problem, and as such, it needs solutions. Ignoring it has NOT solved it. Also, bullies are children - they must learn that their actions are not acceptable, or they can also become problematic later on.

This sounds very nice in theory, or in a fantasy world, but let me give you an example from real life.

In the village where I grew up in, there was a boy (not me) who was rather shy, wore thick glasses, and had a very slow way of speaking. When he was about 12, the other boys regularly started to pick on him. His nickname was "super idiot", and that was the only name they ever called him. Whenever they were near him, they made pseudo-spastic movements and odd noises, to mimick his alleged condition (at that time, "spastic" was a very common slur, and the movements suggested that he was spastic, which - in the minds of the boys - went well with his nickname). He was completely unable to make a single friend, no one would even try to talk to him. This went on for years, until the family moved away.

How exactly are you proposing to enable this boy to "fight the bullies without our help" by "fostering a sense of self worth" in him?

You can tell him all day that he's valuable and unique and a great person, but as soon as he leaves the house, he'll still be surrounded by people making odd noises, spastic movements, and calling him "super idiot".

If you reward a bully or pander to them, you give them exactly what they want. They should not be let off the hook, or rewarded for their actions.

Turning a cold shoulder to the victim and telling them to "man up" is what the OP is basically saying.

You have to be tough on the bully and get them to understand that they shouldn't be allowed to treat others in such ways.

I'm not saying that the bully should be excluded from society etc, i'm just saying that if they do the crime, they've got to do the time basically.

I'm sorry for being harsh, but a sentence like "The media has been casting the people who commit suicide as modern day martyrs, placing them on a pedestal of innocence rather than the reality- murderer of a worthless person(themselves)" is, quite simply, completely inexcusable, no matter how much he'll try to explain it away afterwards.

Pointing out that bullying is not the only factor that may drive one into a situation where (s)he sees no way out? That's fine. Criticizing the media for their handling of such cases? By all means. But calling a person who committed suicide a "murderer of a worthless person" is not one, but several steps across the line. It doesn't help that his proposed "solution" consists of idealistic, romanticized, wishful thinking with zero applicability in the case of actual bullying taking place.

I do not know if the topic starter has been bullied before but I have for 15 years in my life.
Teaching your kids love and care and show them you do is a good thing and mandatory. However, that does not solve a whole lot. I've always known my parents loved me. Yet if the outside world thinks you're a freak of nature, makes fun of your hair, throws a bike in front of you, throws plants and dirt in your hair and face, hits you in the stomache, sprays coke all over you for NO REASON at all, that makes you feel very miserable inside. Not to mention that words hurt more than physical pain. You can't fight them back, you'll only escalate the issue. Furthermore you get to a point where you block your mind from feeling anything. Because if you don't you get hurt. So you start to not care about the world around you, or the people. And even yourself. You build up hatred and yes, some people can't take it anymore and commit suicide. I condone it and obviously they're not martyrs. No they aren't all miserable people who are not loved by friends and/or family. Bullies need to be made aware of their actions and what it can cause to their victims. Only then will they learn. If they ever do. Some never do.

I agree. Bullies are not different than other children doing wrong things. The problem is that it's never done in front of the adults, and the victim does not have enough experience to know what to do - if such an option even exists. If you know bullies, you may know that calling in the adults might just make things worse. That's why I think bullying must be actively fought against.

It's also a mistake for people to think being bullied makes one stronger. Unless you consider unsympathetic, often anti-social people to be strong. That's not the kind of strength that helps you thrive in society at all.

The only solution is to allow the parents of the victim to easily sue the shit out of everyone who is bullying their child. Then out of fear, people will stop bullying. One spastic movement from a bully, and he or she has to pay 1000 euro, minimum. Fear is what keeps bad people from doing messed up things to those who can't defend themselves.