Bumptasticness

this is my story for the give away

an Englishman, American and a German walk into a pub. and the bartender asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"


Also I am running for Run away

Thanks for the giveaway, Ellynandroid! I'm in for any of the three games.

Here's one of my favourite Zen parables, from the Principia Discorida. (The original post wasn't clear if we needed to make up our own story, or simply share a story we like - so if I've erred, let me know and I'll replace this with one of my own.)

A Zen Story

by Camden Benares, The Count of Five
Headmaster, Camp Meeker Cabal

A serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America confusing. He went to many people seeking a way of resolving within himself the discords that troubled him, but he remained troubled.

One night in a coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master said to him, "go to the dilapidated mansion you will find at this address which I have written down for you. Do not speak to those who live there; you must remain silent until the moon rises tomorrow night. Go to the large room on the right of the main hallway, sit in the lotus position on top of the rubble in the northeast corner, face the corner, and meditate."

He did just as the Zen Master instructed. His meditation was frequently interrupted by worries. He worried whether or not the rest of the plumbing fixtures would fall from the second floor bathroom to join the pipes and other trash he was sitting on. He worried how would he know when the moon rose on the next night. He worried about what the people who walked through the room said about him.

His worrying and meditation were disturbed when, as if in a test of his faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto him. At that time two people walked into the room. The first asked the second who the man was sitting there was. The second replied "Some say he is a holy man. Others say he is a shithead."

Hearing this, the man was enlightened.

Back in 2005, a good friend of mine who deals in arcade machines enlisted my help delivering a few Skeeball machines. The 1st week of December that year, we somehow managed to cram one of them into his Chrysler Town & Country, whereupon we drove 8 hours from Bowling Green, OH to Philadelphia, PA with our seats as far forward as they could possibly go, and our seat backs even further forward. Holy hell, it was such a relief when we got that damn machine out of the van.

Then, the next week (which was also Bowling Green State University's finals week (I was a junior at then time,) someone in Appleton, WI wanted two Skeeball machines. Having had quite enough of being super-cramped, we opted to rent a box truck. So we take about 10-12 hours to get there...and it's a strip club. We're both like "What the hell!?" We deliver the machines, and the owner insists we come in and see the girls. So we do. Me having almost no interest in live girls at the this point, one of them asks if I'm tipping, and I reply in the most awkward voice possible, "No, but my friend is."

I love telling that story.

Eventually, we got back to Bowling Green, and I then proceeded to somehow tear the timing belt and float the valves on my car as we came back from the Penske depot, but that's another story.

I'll enter for Don't Starve.

BUMP!

Another BUMP

And... BUMP!

I'm in for Runaway: A Road Adventure and Battle Realms + Winter of the Wolf! Thank you for the giveaway. Here is a short story told in haiku:

Still remembering
the heartbeats of my little sparrow
that flew away

Running again for...BUMP :D

Here's my little story/thought.
- What are you doing?
- I am running away from my shadow.
- Don't run away and accept it.

Count me in for Battle Realms + Winter of the Wolf.
Thanks ellynandroid you for the giveaway.

BUMP!

*runs away*

No you don't I need you to interprate things.. Like, why in the all is so hard?

too hard.. well then, good thing that i tried..

Edit: to actual entering.. I infact would.

Story:I was minding my own beezwaxes and drinking some beer, suddenly i was surrounded by wolves. Hiow did that happen.. Let's take a drink and continue.

I was just picking some badass eating apples my sexual interested giant.. which was a girl.. but who knows.. I was adopted. Yeah, it was that bad. I ate one of those apples and those suck. We all saw.. and i mean I only saw a place of gold.. So I took a pointi rock and i sold A lot off Shiny leather jackets to wear in discos, then I used that pointy rock to carve that map in my ass.
Eventually I had dhiarria and that was like acid so I didn't have a map. Others thought so.

Others: 2 orcsm one fat ass and 1 green haired good looking satan.

anyway, my ass was burning, I needed that red I mean green hair. so i wiped my ass in that beautiful elfs hair or who was it and those two orcs killed. Nobody got anything.
..Well, those two rocs got others bungholes.

Thank You.

I wonder how much liquor you've inserted into yourself lately, Antimateria... :P

OMG... To make up such story, you surely must have exhausted stocks of alcohol in several miles around...

I feel bad for Ellyn, when she reads that...

*starts shaking*