Posted April 29, 2014
I'll join the fun. Here's a nice article I read today, not exactly on this subject, but related. About disappointments, I usually set myself up to be disappointed, which is why I take that easy if it happens. I more or less "hope for the best, expect the worst". Plus I usually imagine that people have good intentions and try to see what positive experience I got from whatever happened.
As a simple example, when I pledge to a Kickstarter project, I never imagine that it will match my every wish, be finished on time, or even at all. So when things do turn out well I'm happy, and when they don't I'm sad but not angry.
As another example, after many years of not writing I recently submitted a story to an anthology (UFO 3). It was on the shortlist but eventually got rejected, which was disappointing, especially since this already happened to me before (being on the shortlist of an anthology and eventually rejected). But look at how many good things were in that:
- I discovered a new market, which I might also enjoy reading.
- I revised a story and made it much better.
- My story was at the top 5% of stories submitted, which suggests that I'm not a terrible writer.
- A blog post by the editor made me realise that I may be able to remake my Zoombie idea into a decent story, so I have a new story to work on, and I find that exciting.
- I read this story by the editor of UFO3 and enjoyed it.
- I read the article linked at the beginning of this post.
So while I ended up disappointed, quite a few good things happened along the way (and might still happen).
There are definitely a lot of things that can go wrong, but I think that in many cases people find it easy to blame luck or others instead of trying to understand what stands in their way, which is often something in them. (That is not to say that luck and others don't have a part in failures, but our choice in what we do and who we do it with comes before that.)
As a simple example, when I pledge to a Kickstarter project, I never imagine that it will match my every wish, be finished on time, or even at all. So when things do turn out well I'm happy, and when they don't I'm sad but not angry.
As another example, after many years of not writing I recently submitted a story to an anthology (UFO 3). It was on the shortlist but eventually got rejected, which was disappointing, especially since this already happened to me before (being on the shortlist of an anthology and eventually rejected). But look at how many good things were in that:
- I discovered a new market, which I might also enjoy reading.
- I revised a story and made it much better.
- My story was at the top 5% of stories submitted, which suggests that I'm not a terrible writer.
- A blog post by the editor made me realise that I may be able to remake my Zoombie idea into a decent story, so I have a new story to work on, and I find that exciting.
- I read this story by the editor of UFO3 and enjoyed it.
- I read the article linked at the beginning of this post.
So while I ended up disappointed, quite a few good things happened along the way (and might still happen).
There are definitely a lot of things that can go wrong, but I think that in many cases people find it easy to blame luck or others instead of trying to understand what stands in their way, which is often something in them. (That is not to say that luck and others don't have a part in failures, but our choice in what we do and who we do it with comes before that.)