Life is full of surprises, joy, challenges and adversity - i.e change. I've often struggled with "happiness" and still do regularly. I can struggle to accept that which is(that I have no control over) or struggle to act, when I know the outcome of such actions is best for myself in the long-term. I often hold onto negativity, stories that I have created(my interpretation of events) that define who I am or what I am capable of doing from past perceived hurt and adversity.

I have recently reconnected with my father after 20 or so years of minimal contact. I reached out to him when I was overwhelmed and breaking down. He wrote the following which really resonated with me:

"Dispense with negativity: it is like a self-replicating virus, especially when you talk to others about it. (Reminds me of the story where one man came across another who was about to jump off a building to end it all. ‘Wait, let’s talk about this’ the man offered, in an effort to prevent the other from jumping to his death. So they talked about things and the man who was about to jump unloaded all his stuff, and likewise did the other. After about 2-3 hours they both jumped!)"

It is easy to focus on the "crap" in life. It is everywhere we look if we wish to find it. There's a lot of hurt in our world but there is also a lot of joy and "good". I've been consciously looking at the way I view myself, others and life and am lightening up. Catharsis is challenging but relieving. Holding onto shit is a burden to me. Life is short, I want to cherish the moments. Realisations such as this often only occur after the loss of someone or something significant. Day to day focus can so often mean I invest a lot of emotion in fretting over the little things.

I am writing this post as a reminder to myself, as well as to share my "human condition" with others on the off chance it might help someone else who is currently struggling.

So, remembering to smile :) I am consciously putting laughter into every day and smiling a lot more. My big smile last night was seeing my big brute of a cat Behemoth laying spread-eagled on MunkiSiren(see attached photo). Why did this make me smile so much? When MunkiSiren and I first met, Behemoth wouldn't even be in the same room as her! lol He would give her filthy looks and leave. 16 months later, we are living together and he shows her as much love as he shows me. This warms my heart greatly :)

Thanks Tarnicus.

Great pix! ;-D

Have one from me...
http://imgur.com/4d041JL

Hey, he looks like my cat... only four times bigger :)

Thanks for sharing this. I lurk more than I actively post in much of the forums, but I always love seeing posts of yours. This one resonates with me strongly at the moment, as my wife has been helping me to realize that the way I view myself is based on traumatic events from when I was younger, and I think it has only been quite recently that I've been able to consider the possibility that my low opinion of myself may at least be short of entirely accurate, and rooted in things I should have (and believed I had) moved past long ago.

It's reassuring to see this, at this time, especially considering the kindness I've been shown on the forums of late has given me a bit of a push in the right direction, and I feel like I'm ready--or close to ready--to really address the issue. Life is indeed too short.

Great post. Enjoy the journey is what my dad always says.

Going by what I've seen and read, I'd say there's plenty of reasons in your life to smile. Even if the rest of it is utter crap, trust me, there's a great many people who'd envy you. The bad stuff is there mostly to show you just how good you have it with the rest. ^_^

Thank you for the post. A lot in there is reminding of myself. And, dammit, that's the biggest cat i've ever seen.
Here is something that is always make me smile when i listen to it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo

Remembering to smile is a big part of my strategy to try to find balance in life.

I need to try to remember to be more helpful instead of walking past, i need to try to be calm instead of shouting abuse (when driving).

I am naturally a very peaceful and cheerful person, but that has been battered to hell by life experience, at the same time i manage to be very content and i do not worry about things i cannot change - but also i need to worry a little more about things i can change!

I have learnt to be overly reserved, fearful to step out, to risk or to endeavor because experience has taught me that folly eagerly awaits its chance to pounce.

Remember the Simpsons episode where Bart tries to take the electrified cup cake and each time he does not learn and tries again and gets electrocuted again.... well that's life, the cupcake represents a persons motivation, and the electric shock is the punishment for acting on your motivation.

Unlike Bart, I have learn't the lesson and lost my motivation. To get it back is not easy at all! It is like a war, you have to fight, you have to be cunning, you have to anticipate and you have to try to eliminate risk to whatever extent is reasonably possible, because in the real world there is no such thing as a 'fair go', the Universe loves to kick people when they are down, luck is not your friend and random chance seems to be a little less random and a little more 'malicious' than it needs to be and Karma usually does the exact opposite of what it is supposed to!

yay smile :)

Thanks for the great post and pic. It cannot be said enough to be happy not sad. That is a "brute" of a cat!!

I wish I had it in me to open up in a forum like that. Given that I don't, I'll jump on the animal picture posting bandwagon.

Nice. I've been contemplating a lot of the same stuff lately. My advice to anyone would be: be aware of your thoughts and how you're acting/reacting to things. Think about what you think about. Try to be more conscious and intentional in what you do; don't just stumble through your days doing the same things with no thought. Ask yourself, is this really who I want to be and what I want to present to the world? Is what I'm doing making myself (and others) better or worse?

:)