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General discussion (archive)Relationship Advice(96 posts)(96 posts)
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This is my favourite topic
Posted May 13, 2014
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pimpmonkey2382: Like I always say.

When in doubt, whip it out.
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corawesome2: Congrats, that made me laugh like a mad man.
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Tallima: You'll get a hundred answers from a hundred men and women. I hope you'll take time and care to listen and judge well.

This type of thing happened to me (minus the Johnson and DJ bit). So let me tell you about my quick trip:

- Promised myself not to date mid-to-late senior year b/c I was leaving for school
- I fell in love and dated. We were perfect together. Like two peas in a pod.
- We moved 600 miles apart and tried to date
- When we did finally see each other, things were intense and passionate
- I was falling behind in classes. Long-distance relationship are near impossible to maintain.
- We finally broke up in my sophomore year of college. I was crippled with depression for months. And didn't care to date anyone for at least a year afterwards. It was all a waste of time and effort for something that would never be.

So, to decide rationally (which rarely happens when a Johnson is involved):

First, make a plan. What do you want to do in the next few months? (college) How does she fit into that plan?
Do you care about her? Deeply?

In two months, you can get pretty into each other (no pun intended). In four months, you will be willing to throw away your education for her. Almost guaranteed.

So, my advice would be to tell her that it's too much too fast. You don't think you should see her any more b/c you're leaving to college. And you should move on. And tell your parents what happened. It'll bring you closer to your parents and develop that relationship that will last a long time.

Or take my other advice if you're in love with her: Figure out what you want sexually and figure out the boundaries you need to have to keep those urges at bay. I personally lasted until marriage before intercourse and I strongly recommend it for everyone. But since about 4% of people do that, I imagine it's fairly hard. I can't think of anything I've ever done that was that hard. It builds character. But there's tons of others that will tell you to screw and screw often. I never saw any good come out of it (from friends and family: several abortions, pregnancies, poverty, lost education, depression, abuse and a little bit of fun that later turned into shame -- but I'm told by others that they have no regrets, too [but they do have left-over effects from STDs and, later, adultery and/or divorce])

As for me, I took the bottom advice, it went very poorly. But then 5 or 6 years later, we hooked back up and got married. Been married for 7 years next Monday. But that's very rare.

All this said, she's got your Johnson and there's not much that anyone can say that will get you to get her to release it. Good luck, mate. :)
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corawesome2: Well, Lets see,
what do you want to do in the next few months? Summer Intership and (college)
How does she fit into that plan? Just a good friend who I am trying to convince to go to college.
Do you care about her? Yes, otherwise i wouldn't spend hours trying to motivate her to be more productive, good though though is that she listens.
Deeply? Not sure.

She too thinks it is moving a bit fast, so i am not sure. And congratulations on keeping those urges at bay, i personally would like to do this aswell.

As for her having my johnson, eh it's not like she's forcing me to do anything, extremely understanding, to a fault.
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sinugie: your 1st time? fun!. i'm lucky (or regret it perhaps to not have your kinda situation...) got help from more experience partner. if i were you just go , you still young go there and and have fun with her.
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corawesome2: Thanks for the input.
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Licurg: Ask her to do all sorts of freaky stuff, anything you can think of. If she doesn't say "no" to anything, marry her .
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corawesome2: She isn't going to do any "freaky" stuff, however she does do random crap i think of to make her uncomfortable, Doesn't work.
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djdarko: You sort of skimped on the details about her, does she realize that you're moving away soon? Is she the same age as you etc.?

First, make sure that she knows you're moving away soon, and if she still wants to go for it, make sure to bring condoms.

You shouldn't really have anything to feel guilty about as long as you are honest with her.
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corawesome2: She does realize i am moving away soon, i am trying to convince her to go to college near where i am going.
Yes she is around the same age then me, eh a few months older actually.
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HereForTheBeer: Not sure what to tell you. We're all different and you're at a point in life where there are a lot of things bouncing around in your head and hormones.

As for the morality, not really. Are you hurting someone? Stealing from someone? No? Then don't sweat it. Go get some jimmy-hats just in case so you don't end up with a life-changing situation that you're not prepared to deal with. And I wouldn't have her sneaking in to see you; it's your folks house and you should respect that. Basically, you're an adult at 18 years old, so assume the responsibilities.

Other than that, talk to her about it. If she has a problem with your concerns then maybe she's not the best choice for now. If she's cool with it, then things will hopefully progress in a manner comfortable to both of you. Might not hurt to talk with your parents, but that comes from me not knowing a thing about your family life.

And if this doesn't feel like the right time, then it probably isn't the right time. There will be other opportunities and you'll be facing the same questions again.

But really, don't over-think it. Just talk with her, and be responsible with whatever you decide.
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corawesome2: Well i am not sure how i would talk to my parents about it, As for hurting anyone, i don't think so, i appreciate the input, not sure how i will talk about it, and i am pretty sure it's not the right time, but should i get some "jimmy-hats" just in case?
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pimpmonkey2382: 3 simple words:

Dip, the, wick.
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corawesome2: I assume that is a euphemism.
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darthspudius: Dude... just feel her warmth! Feel it nice and hard!
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corawesome2: Hahahahaha, you guys are in coalition to make me laugh aren't you.
Yes, go have fun, hide that sausage.
Posted May 13, 2014
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lugum: that is usually a sign she wouldn't say no to other men too.
i think he should be careful.
She's got a decent head on her shoulders, seeing as i started talking to her in november, and we recently made out, thus we were pretty close to each other in terms of friendship.
Posted May 13, 2014
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corawesome2: ...
I should throw in a summary since I was writing a bit goofily and sometimes stuff doesn't come across over the Internets well.

What's I'm trying to tell you is to be intentional. It's very difficult when sexuality is involved, but it's very rewarding.

It's very hard to be intentional when you're wanting to get it on. So be sure you have a good solid plan that will protect what you want to protect and give what you want to give.

We can't tell you what you want. And any advice that tells you what you want is ill advice. You'll need to figure that out for yourself.

It's wise of you to seek older counsel. I'd recommend talk to someone in real life. If you have a grandfather you're close to, it might be easier than your dad. Or an uncle you trust.
Posted May 13, 2014
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Darvin: Does she know you're leaving? Have you talked to her about this? It's an entirely different situation if she understands that the relationship will come to a forced end when you leave for college, or if she expects that the relationship will continue in some form. If she knows and accepts that this relationship will not be able to continue then I don't see any ethical issues. Be truthful and honest with her, and if she still wants to go ahead then there's no issue with doing so. As far as your parents go, you're 18 now. Your love life is your own business. Whether you choose to share that information with them is your prerogative.

The harder question is whether you want to go ahead with this. No matter your decision, you might regret it or be thankful for it one day. It's difficult to say how you'll feel five or ten years down the road. Think about it, and consciously make a decision (do not leave it to the heat of the moment) ahead of time, then go forward without regrets. Above all else, if you do choose to go ahead do be safe about it.
She does know that i am leaving, and i am trying to convince her to go to college, and to go to college near me.
As for my parents, i don't know, I just feel a bit gulity, as if it's wrong to do this .
Well, i know if i don't do it than i am not going to have anything to regret, that's for sure.

Imagine on one side you have the potential to change the world and make a difference but for that you have to give up friends and family, and become this cold hearted person, while on the other side you can just go on living without really making too much of a difference, hmm that is a bit melodramatic but sort of gets the gist of the emotion out.

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Smannesman: Not saying you should do this, but it might solve your current situation and help focus on studying during college.
If only i had HCl

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grimwerk: I would email support.

Tell them you've downloaded a game and now you're not sure you want to play it.
A part of me wants to email gog support using either teen agent or lure of the temptress
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pimpmonkey2382: Thank god he's got a game that would support his joystick.
Hahahaha, this is genius.
Post edited May 13, 2014 by corawesome2
Posted May 13, 2014
Just be honest, talk to her about your plans, feelings, and doubts, and ask her what she thinks/feels about it.

There's really no way to give you any advice in such a situation. The risk is clear, the potential gain is clear, you two can end up anywhere between seventh heaven and utter depression. That's love. Only you two can decide whether it's worth the risk.

You are clearly able to express yourself and your feelings. That's an asset, use it to discuss the matter with her in an open, comfortable atmosphere. Be open for options. If you two think that "long distance relationship" could be worth a try, go for it. If you two think "let's better not get involved too deeply, the risk that at least one of us ends up hurt", then don't. If you two think "let's enjoy it while we're here, and not think about tomorrow", that's fine too. The only important thing is that you have to decide this together, conscious of the risks, and aware of each other's plans and feelings.
Posted May 13, 2014
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Tallima: I should throw in a summary since I was writing a bit goofily and sometimes stuff doesn't come across over the Internets well.

What's I'm trying to tell you is to be intentional. It's very difficult when sexuality is involved, but it's very rewarding.

It's very hard to be intentional when you're wanting to get it on. So be sure you have a good solid plan that will protect what you want to protect and give what you want to give.

We can't tell you what you want. And any advice that tells you what you want is ill advice. You'll need to figure that out for yourself.

It's wise of you to seek older counsel. I'd recommend talk to someone in real life. If you have a grandfather you're close to, it might be easier than your dad. Or an uncle you trust.
Well, you guys are kinda my older counsel, seeing as i don't have anyone older in my family than my father, and i am not sure i want to discuss this with him.
Posted May 13, 2014
Well I'm 31 years of age, but let her pump your yogurt shotgun, or you'll be beating the bishop.
Posted May 13, 2014
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Psyringe: Just be honest, talk to her about your plans, feelings, and doubts, and ask her what she thinks/feels about it.

There's really no way to give you any advice in such a situation. The risk is clear, the potential gain is clear, you two can end up anywhere between seventh heaven and utter depression. That's love. Only you two can decide whether it's worth the risk.

You are clearly able to express yourself and your feelings. That's an asset, use it to discuss the matter with her in an open, comfortable atmosphere. Be open for options. If you two think that "long distance relationship" could be worth a try, go for it. If you two think "let's better not get involved too deeply, the risk that at least one of us ends up hurt", then don't. If you two think "let's enjoy it while we're here, and not think about tomorrow", that's fine too. The only important thing is that you have to decide this together, conscious of the risks, and aware of each other's plans and feelings.
Thank you, i needed that, But i am not sure whether it's love, I feel as if it's just a compromise that both of us are making because we are just lonely and want company. i mean, technically we aren't going out.
Posted May 13, 2014
Isn't asking for relationship advice in a game forum kind of like asking for fashion advice at a nudist camp?
Posted May 13, 2014
The potential for people to get hurt here is pretty high. I know from experience the risk of things escalating too quickly, and what you might be surprised you'd be willing to sacrifice. I had a similar situation, but a little older as I was coming out of college and heading into graduate school. The long story short is that the hard feelings it caused cost me dearly. Years later I'm still not the man I was and I lost most of my friends over the ordeal, since she thought it was too hard to have any reference of me and we do still live nearby she made all of our mutual friends choose and people I'd known for a decade that said they loved me still left when they were forced to cut ties with me or with her and all of the other people who'd sided with her.

There's something to be said for prioritizing what makes you happy, but right now you're young and you need to focus on an education and starting your life. If your relationship is built on a good friendship you may be able to rekindle it after you get your degree. I don't think you need to cut ties with her, but if she's willing to do it and you're both emotionally able to, I think for now you should commit to just being friends. You don't want to get hurt nor hurt her, but realistically you *need* to choose your education first. I know what it was like to be 18 and think no one understands, but she is not your one true love or anything like that. All relationships are work, and you should wait until you have the time to devote to a serious one before you have a serious one.

Just my two cents.
Posted May 13, 2014
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pimpmonkey2382: Well I'm 31 years of age, but let her pump your yogurt shotgun, or you'll be beating the bishop.
I did let her pump my yogurt shotgun today, since it happened today, and well, Yogurt shotgun wasn't working, it was out of rounds and sorta was malfunctioning, possibily because of nervousness.

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tinyE: Isn't asking for relationship advice in a game forum kind of like asking for fashion advice at a nudist camp?
Not just any game forum though, This is GOG, the most classiest forum on the internet. atleast in my opinion.
Post edited May 13, 2014 by corawesome2
Posted May 13, 2014
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pimpmonkey2382: Well I'm 31 years of age, but let her pump your yogurt shotgun, or you'll be beating the bishop.
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corawesome2: I did let her pump my yogurt shotgun today, since it happened today, and well, Yogurt shotgun wasn't working, it was out of rounds and sorta was malfunctioning, possibily because of nervousness.

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tinyE: Isn't asking for relationship advice in a game forum kind of like asking for fashion advice at a nudist camp?
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corawesome2: Not just any game forum though, This is GOG, the most classiest forum on the internet. atleast in my opinion.
He who hesitates masturbates.
Posted May 13, 2014
Let me give you some advice from a much more advanced age.

Have. No. Regrets.

You're only young once, and despite what you may think, which is what we all thought when we were 18 and immortal and middle or old age was a thousand lifetimes away, it doesn't last long. At all. Before you know it, you're graduated, working full time, married, and in your mid 30's and wondering what the fuck happened. And then the next thing you know you're older and looking back on every "opportunity" you ever let get away because of guilt, or fear, or insecurity, or whatever, and.... you regret every one of those choices.

Have as much fun as you can, while you can. I can't put it any more explicit than that without offending many here I fear. Believe me, I was very much explicit in explaining this to my son and nephews.

Have. No. Regrets. Life is a privilege. Live it. Because you never know when you can't anymore, at least the same way you used to.
Posted May 13, 2014
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pimpmonkey2382: Well I'm 31 years of age, but let her pump your yogurt shotgun, or you'll be beating the bishop.
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corawesome2: I did let her pump my yogurt shotgun today, since it happened today, and well, Yogurt shotgun wasn't working, it was out of rounds and sorta was malfunctioning, possibily because of nervousness.

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tinyE: Isn't asking for relationship advice in a game forum kind of like asking for fashion advice at a nudist camp?
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corawesome2: Not just any game forum though, This is GOG, the most classiest forum on the internet. atleast in my opinion.
Funnest? Yes. Classiest? Hey, if this place had class do you think I'd spend all day in here? :P

Good luck BTW. I haven't had a GF in 20 years so I'm just going to sit back and be jealous that you need the advice. :D
Posted May 13, 2014
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FirestormMk3: The potential for people to get hurt here is pretty high. I know from experience the risk of things escalating too quickly, and what you might be surprised you'd be willing to sacrifice. I had a similar situation, but a little older as I was coming out of college and heading into graduate school. The long story short is that the hard feelings it caused cost me dearly. Years later I'm still not the man I was and I lost most of my friends over the ordeal, since she thought it was too hard to have any reference of me and we do still live nearby she made all of our mutual friends choose and people I'd known for a decade that said they loved me still left when they were forced to cut ties with me or with her and all of the other people who'd sided with her.

There's something to be said for prioritizing what makes you happy, but right now you're young and you need to focus on an education and starting your life. If your relationship is built on a good friendship you may be able to rekindle it after you get your degree. I don't think you need to cut ties with her, but if she's willing to do it and you're both emotionally able to, I think for now you should commit to just being friends. You don't want to get hurt nor hurt her, but realistically you *need* to choose your education first. I know what it was like to be 18 and think no one understands, but she is not your one true love or anything like that. All relationships are work, and you should wait until you have the time to devote to a serious one before you have a serious one.

Just my two cents.
I completely understand that, I have debated many times just cutting ties with her, which i think is what will happen as i got a feeling she isn't going to go to college near me. Now the reason i want her to go to college near me isn't a completely selfish one, She is quite unmotivated and a bit unproductive, and just recently as she says thanks to me has gotten a lot better, i made a promise to her that i will help her through college if she goes to college, now i am not sure how i will be able to do that if we aren't in the same vicinity.

As for one true love, I am a cynic when it comes to love, so yeah, i don't believe in love. I am thought countless times that all of this is just two lonely people settling because they are tired of feeling so alone, as if trying to fill a void in your chest, but sadly, the dark silent void that inside all heartbroken men can't be filled with empty love.
I don't know honestly, I don't want to break her heart, that's my goal, and i want her to become this productive person, since i know she has incredible potential but really crappy motivation.

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pimpmonkey2382: He who hesitates masturbates.
r/nofap will like a word with you.
Post edited May 13, 2014 by corawesome2
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This is my favourite topic
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General discussion (archive)Relationship Advice(96 posts)(96 posts)
(96 posts)