It seems that you're using an outdated browser. Some things may not work as they should (or don't work at all).
We suggest you upgrade newer and better browser like: Chrome, Firefox, Internet Explorer or Opera

×
Community
General discussion (archive)Relationship Advice?(42 posts)solved(42 posts)solved
(42 posts)solved
Pages:
1
2
3
This is my favourite topic
Posted December 19, 2011
I have posted a question on here before in this vein and got many helpful answers and would like to perhaps try for that again.

See, I am a very socially awkward individual. This has lead to me having a seriously hard time talking to my girlfriend who I feel is far too good for me. I am legitimately in love with the girl and am terrified of losing her. We talk for long periods of time, sometimes for hours on end and I just seem to run out of things to say to her after awhile seeing as I don't really live an exciting life. Neither of us has a license (yes I am 21 without a license) which makes it hard to see each other as much as we may like to and I am terrified that she may end of leaving me unless I seriously step up my game. Anybody have any suggestions?
This question / problem has been solved by pH7image
Posted December 19, 2011
First off stop with that thinking that she's too good for you. She'll dump you if you don't stop with that crap.
Second... why talk? Learn to ask questions. Then just listen. It's a better skill for men in a relationship than trying to find lots of things to say.
Posted December 19, 2011
avatar
DoABarrelR0ll: Anybody have any suggestions?
Of course we do.

Do you think she will leave you because she feels you are not too exciting? If so, why did she ever get together with you to begin with? Did she use to think you are very exciting (but now possibly thinks otherwise), or maybe she doesn't care about excitement and danger in her relationships that much? Or, do you fear you are a rebound?

I don't know how long you have been together, but obviously there still is some reason why she is with you. Or are you sensing something?

About your fear of losing her, I can't really help. Sometimes even professional help might help, if it is somehow related to your earlier life.
Post edited December 19, 2011 by timppu
Posted December 19, 2011
If you think that she's too good for you, she probably is. And if you're afraid that she'll leave you, she probably will.

Honestly, your best bet is to change yourself. Go out, meet more people, get more friends, get rid of that social awkwardness, get a hobby, do interesting things, make yourself the guy who you want to be. Girls smell low self-esteem from a mile away. You don't need to have the life of a rock star, but you need to have a life that you are content with and proud of. This will give you confidence.

And if she does leave you, you can always get a new girlfriend. She might be too good for you now and you're terrified of losing her, but if you start going out and meeting new people you'll understand that there are billions of people in this world, a substantial part of who are actually better looking and more interesting than her. Play the numbers!

And good luck.
Posted December 19, 2011
You may have to accept that this is one of those relationships thats going to be a learning experience and is going to make you better at relationships rather than one that's going to go the distance, but hang in there and earn as much XP as possible and try to level up!
Oh and learn to drive already!
Post edited December 19, 2011 by Fever_Discordia
Posted December 19, 2011
Understand you dont need to have endless constant stream of chatter to fill the dead air.Just enjoy the togetherness and simple things. Look for things both of you can share in doing thats nearby. Just because u dont have a license, doesnt mean you cant walk,bus or train to wherever you wanna go. And hey if she was too good for you, why would she be with you in the first place?.Think about that :).Be positive.
Posted December 19, 2011
I think you just need to be there and enjoy it. Keep it simple, don't let your worries get you down. Change what you think may be better but don't force you to talk or be popular or whatever.

Love and laugh dude!
Posted December 19, 2011
Try doing a barrel roll.
Posted December 19, 2011
You know, not all silence awkward. Really the only alternative is a never ending string of repetitive small talk. If you ran out of things to say just go do something, apart or together. Then you can talk about it.

You were good enough, enjoyable enough and interesting enough as an individual to end up in a relationship with her in the first place. It might not mean it will last but relationships break off for a number of reasons and there’s more to it than one person just being too good for the other. Now quit putting her on a pedestal, she’s human to.
Posted December 19, 2011
avatar
FraterPerdurabo: If you think that she's too good for you, she probably is. And if you're afraid that she'll leave you, she probably will.

Honestly, your best bet is to change yourself. Go out, meet more people, get more friends, get rid of that social awkwardness, get a hobby, do interesting things, make yourself the guy who you want to be. Girls smell low self-esteem from a mile away. You don't need to have the life of a rock star, but you need to have a life that you are content with and proud of. This will give you confidence.

And if she does leave you, you can always get a new girlfriend. She might be too good for you now and you're terrified of losing her, but if you start going out and meeting new people you'll understand that there are billions of people in this world, a substantial part of who are actually better looking and more interesting than her. Play the numbers!

And good luck.
+1 Listen to this guy.
avatar
Fuzzyfireball: Try doing a barrel roll.
Or this guy.
Post edited December 19, 2011 by lowyhong
Posted December 19, 2011
I'd find things to DO instead of things to SAY, since talking isn't your strong point. Go to new places together, I mean geographically. That's where couples shine anyway, it's doing stuff together and eating together and such. There's really a limit to how much you can entertain each other through speech alone. There are ways to go to places even without being able to drive -- look for shuttles and other types of clean buses, or trains, etc. If you're conservative (lol) you can take day trips from really early morning and return by evening or late night.
One thing me and my (now) wife used to have fun doing was searching for good food and spending tons of money going back and forth for that one potentially super awesome meal.
Posted December 19, 2011
That's when you know you've found somebody special, when you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.

And never, ever, ever put girls, or anyone for that matter on a pedestal. Also, take initiative from time to time and don't be a total sub; some girls like submissive guys, but they're very rare and trust me, you can see them from miles away.
Posted December 19, 2011
avatar
DoABarrelR0ll: I have posted a question on here before in this vein and got many helpful answers and would like to perhaps try for that again.

See, I am a very socially awkward individual. This has lead to me having a seriously hard time talking to my girlfriend who I feel is far too good for me. I am legitimately in love with the girl and am terrified of losing her. We talk for long periods of time, sometimes for hours on end and I just seem to run out of things to say to her after awhile seeing as I don't really live an exciting life. Neither of us has a license (yes I am 21 without a license) which makes it hard to see each other as much as we may like to and I am terrified that she may end of leaving me unless I seriously step up my game. Anybody have any suggestions?
Ditto what everyone else has said. But feel you have to change yourself for anyone.

Failing that turn gay.
Posted December 19, 2011
avatar
DoABarrelR0ll: ...
You do realize that for one being terrified's not really too appealing in a man and second that in long lasting relationship you will eventually run out of stuff for idle banter and will very rarely talk for hours, right? Important bit is to feel good around the other person. To compliment. To surprise, as I have discovered to my surprise. No one's gonna feel good around you if you insist on your inferiority, so just do something about that and you're fine.
Posted December 19, 2011
Oh and a free pro tip of the day, don't be this guy!
http://forum.japantoday.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=976255&fb_source=message
Pages:
1
2
3
This is my favourite topic
Community
General discussion (archive)Relationship Advice?(42 posts)solved(42 posts)solved
(42 posts)solved