Krypsyn: Seriously, I think it is a problem, I am just not sure that I want someone (whether government or corporate) trying to regulate behavior. In my experience, whenever such rules have been tried, some of the secondary effects are just as bad as the problem that was supposed to me solved.
You know, I used to believe this too, about government at least (I know, you may find this hard to believe). Eventually I decided I was wrong and here's why: I'm not old enough to remember the days back before the problem was starting to be addressed, in most cases. My suspicion is that it sucked and was way more unfair in many more circumstances than I can imagine. So, let's take integration, that's what we're really talking about in the US when this comes up, after all. Oh I know there's other examples, but that's the big one lurking in the background in literally every conversation about this.
All the insane fuckups, the busing that makes no sense, the affirmative action that seems to backfire in some cases (especially for white males in college, ironically, this is still about the only time it backfires for said group), we only hear about the fuckups. The fact that it's always in "Chicago" or at "IBM" or "the bank down the street" actually kind of indicates it's working. Our perception is that it doesn't work, but we only notice in it when it's not working, we notice the exceptional circumstance, not the normal one.
Take your most loathed government agency, same damned thing, you piss and moan about the NEA (or whatever you hate), I piss and moan about my pet peeve, but you know what? I have really safe roads to drive on, safe cars, clean drinking water, no "out of fuel" signs at the gas station, the government satellites are still feeding the weather feeds on my phone (and the evening news), there's still big and small game to hunt, our national and state parks remain incredibly clean and nice places to visit (remember, Yellowstone had tons of trash thrown in the geysers when the government took over management and declared it the first national park). The list goes on.
It's the reverse of confirmation bias... I think... fuck, I'm not sure what to call it. I do know that it happens, even very clever people seem extremely susceptible to it.
So no, I don't believe the government nor private industry will automatically fuck this up or that the cure will be worse than the disease.
We, the users of the service (in the case of Live, we even pay for it) are asking for tools that help automate us self policing. This doesn't mean we can't have an appeals system in place, etc. We don't want to squelch someone's right to free expression, but they don't have the right to corner an unwilling audience. I'll link a few fun examples below, there's a million more:
http://fatuglyorslutty.com/2011/12/26/naughty-list/
http://fatuglyorslutty.com/2012/03/23/recommended-activity/
http://fatuglyorslutty.com/2012/02/13/lamoureux/
http://fatuglyorslutty.com/2012/02/10/greeting-ritual/
There's more, they're not limited to XBox Live, there's plenty of WOW chat, CS:S, LoL, etc. on that site. It's extreme and it's way beyond "just deal with it". I'm saying let's band together and work with the industry to address this problem, because most of us are sick of it. I don't want my daughter logging on to see her inbox full of that kind of nastiness, I don't want it for myself, I don't want it for anyone who doesn't want it. Let's get some tools that can give people a choice.
Right now it's basically: 1) mute everyone indiscriminately, 2) listen to everyone, bastards included, 3) deal with the onerous task of manually muting every jerk in every match that's being nasty, then block the nasty messages they start sending, etc.
Those aren't good solutions, we can design way better systems than that and make them user optional.