stoicsentry: Another question: are they both pure tower defense or is there more to it? Thanks, +reps to you both.
I'm happy to help. As you probably figured, both games have a lot of third person shooter elements, but they are a little different.
Orcs Must Die is sort of pure tower defence, but it's traps based, which I personally find makes it more engaging than a typical tower defence. You can set up a lot of interesting combos and such with the traps; for example, one trap is a springboard that can launch the orcs backwards and into a wall of swords or off the edge or whatever. Unfortunately the combat is very basic; you have a crossbow and a sword and that's it for combat skills (or at least that's all I've unlocked, I've only beaten about half of the maps).
Dungeon Defenders is much more typical, using the standard kinds of towers you'd get in a tower defence. But there are a ton of upgradable combat skills and gear and such to equip, and there's a lot more variety and strategy to the combat during the waves. Also the classes make it much more varied, because each class has a unique combat style and also has a speciality that their towers revolve around.
Like I said before, I think Dungeon Defenders is the more robust/deeper game, but it's just not possible in single player. It's a lot like trying to beat Magicka by yourself, if you've ever tried it. But I can heartily recommend both, especially if you don't mind a bit of goofy pop culture humour in Orcs Must Die, and you plan to play Dungeon Defenders with your fiancee.