Posted April 06, 2009
The reasoning behind the classification of apes as dirty creatures, comes from the long history of diseases one can get from apes, the one that stands out the most is AIDS, but there are quite a few others, shigellosis, the Marburg Agent virus, ebola and poliomyelitis. I highly recommend that you do further research into the study of these creatures to learn just how unhygienic they are. If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt. Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch!
Sincerely,
Weclock
Sir:
Let us be done with all pretenses then; I will abandon my trivial disguise as primate-watcher, and you can join me as you doff your ill-constructed visage (indeed, mirage) of what you call your "wit". Your verbal sparring skills lead much to be desired, in the areas of lucidity, logic, and length (in that order). Let me address your many claims to shame as pleasantly as I can:
1. Lucidity
Such pathogenic refuse that spills from your mouth must be barred from entering the kingdom of accepted verbage. While it is clear that you have obtained access to a thick dictionary by your use of such words as "whoreson", "cullionly", and "tallow-catch", do not flatter yourself by assuming that you understand anything that you are writing. Even if you fool yourself into a false sense of realization, rest assured that the rest of us will mock your profound idiocy.
2. Logic
I will now dissolve the title you have so graciously bestowed upon me; please grant me your patience, as it is quite a yarn I have been tasked with unravelling.
"Cullionly": mean or base
"Tickle-brained": small-brained; touched in the head
"Flirt-gill": giddy girl
I hope you realize that the implications of your name-calling are incredibly outrageous. Let me begin with your first "clear" example of ineptitude. I am a man; therefore, no matter how giddy I am at any given moment, I will never be a flirt-gill. You obviously are challenged by simple identification problems that a mere infant could resolve.
Let us now move backwards to your application of "tickle-brained" (the direction of motion is questionable but, in light of your regular thinking patterns and sense of logic, I chose to proceed in a backward fashion). By pairing "tickle-brained" with "flirt-gill", you have implied that women are not only to be discounted in serious debates, but that they are inferior to men. Your use of "cullionly" only confirms that you perceive women as a base organism, the undisputed zenith of rampant sexism. May your mother never learn what you have done, for fear she would replace all of your pictures with more becoming ones of cactus plants (less pointed and more useful).
3. Length
Your last sentence consists of three subjects, but no verbs or actual messages to me. It is a string of expletives that accomplishes nothing that childish name-calling hasn't already done before. The major difference is that you have disguised the naive rants of a prepubescent street urchin under a cloak of unfettered pedagogy. The very sight of your miserably-constructed thoughts rankles.
In conclusion, in case the tone of this message escaped the narrow confines of your exceedingly miniscule mind, let me just say that you are the most despicable, rancid specimen of man I have had the misfortune to encounter in my electronic travels. You shock me with your putrid illusion of wisdom, your blatant display of unfettered stupidity, and your unremarkable arguments that still bear the scars of your bloated ego's touch.
I have nothing more to say to you; good day.
Ogodosh
P.S. it appears that there is significantly more wit left in the bank than you formerly thought, varmint.
Post edited April 06, 2009 by Ogodosh
