I completely agree with you, but once again, there is a problem, he also happens to be the Owners' Brother. He gets away with a lot because of it too.

That being said, the owners are coming back into town within the next two weeks, and I have been compiling a long list of things to discuss with them, this recent incident very much included. I will be discussing both the Project Manager's reaction, as well as the issue itself.

I just hope I can find all the right words to use so I can sound professional, and not like I am taking a temper.

This whole situation is a pain in the rear, but there are simply no other jobs in my area that pay even close to what I get there.

I don't mean this unkindly, but it seems to me that in your example, you're the one telling someone how to do their job.

If I understand things correctly, you didn't label the box yourself, but instead handed it to the secretary and asked her to do it. Then you told her how to do it. You told a receptionist how to mail a box. That's like her explaining to you how to code "Hello, World". You gave her a very familiar job; Let her handle it. If there's a problem, she'll send it again.

Anyway, you're a bright young spark probably making three times what she was at your age. What's more, it seems like the three people she works with all have related skill sets and a direct involvement in your product or service. So she's kind of the odd-man-out. I'm not suggesting you roll over and take any grief she cares to dish out. But you can probably afford to be generous when it comes to these small arguments.

Sorry if my analysis is way off. It may be colored by my own experience. I joined a small company like yours, but with a handful of programmers and one content person. She once told me that on the days I wasn't there, the other coders would always take off in a clique and leave her to eat lunch alone. They didn't mean anything by it, but I was surprised at their thoughtlessness. Anyway, I ramble. I hope you find an easy solution!

No, I did not ask her to mail a package, I asked her to print me am label. I gave her a COPY of the secondary label that also is required to be on the box, but I only did that so she could have the address on it, and I told her as such.

Part of her job IS to print labels for us, but she takes it too far. When that happened, the box was on my desk, and I had no intention of ever giving it to her, and I had already lined up the UPS pickup. The only reason i involved her in the first place is because she is the only one in the company with the printer and labels to print the labels.

It was my job to take care of it, but just as we do with every other project in the company, we all work with, or are at least SUPPOSED to work with, each other.

And just as a side note, I feel more like the odd-one-out, because I am so young compared to everyone else. I live with my grandparents, don't make enough to go find new friends, and my life consists of going to work, going home, wash, rinse and repeat. I hate not having anyone to hang out with at work. Heck, even at work, we all take our own lunches at different times so my lunch is spent at my desk, by myself... It's really depressing.
I did tell her I've done it in the past, it makes no difference with her. :/

As far as I can tell from your assessment, you did all you could do to peacefully and professionally deal with the situation and yet you couldn't find a solution to the problem. Since the manager came out as rather incompetent, and the receptionist unreasonable, this is definitely something you need to firmly but politely bring to the attention of the owners. Unless they are completely useless as absent owners go, you simply need to explain the problem, your expansive but ultimately futile efforts to remedy it, and appeal to them to help make things good as they see fit. You must be prepared to take a hit or two, but you must be firm that this is not a minor issue and needs to be resolved.

And if you get steamrolled with a "fix it yourself" or a variation of thereof, I can only say you are really out of luck and either get out the first chance you get or grin and bear it.

Ok, older female here, lots of work experience and maybe some advice on how you might solve the situation;

First, read this article. It's about emotional intelligence in the workplace (yeah, sounds mumbo-jumboish but do me a favor and read it since it's pretty short though the concepts aren't.)
http://www.fastcompany.com/3028712/7-habits-of-highly-emotionally-intelligent-people

Secondly, it sounds as though you have a long-standing habit - well both of you do - she butts into your job and you get annoyed. Fixing it won't happen overnight - just just keep that in mind.

Thirdly, figure out exactly what you want to accomplish;
1) Job duties (do we all pull together or are our duties our responsibilities?)
2) Effective communication - how can we better get along when there is conflict?
3) Miscellaneous stuff like mail, shipping - should she open everything, stamp the date recv'd and deliver to the correct person? Should she be responsible for the returns of items like you mentioned and if so where can she find the necessary info so it doesn't get lost?
4) How can you personally change how you are treated - are there things you do that don't serve you in terms of being treated like an adult? Is there a way to communicate differently with her that might change her mind? Do you treat her as an equal partner in getting the job done? etc... introspective stuff...

As to the" how you are", consider if there are any changes you can make - even a good morning smile and a genuine hello can begin to melt even the frostiest of hearts. Ask for her help - say "I think they want the label on the outside but maybe you could call for me and check so we don't get this returned?" Actually she sounds bored and is looking for things to do - let her help with administrative stuff. She'll feel useful and you'll have less paperwork to do.

If that doesn't work after you've made a concerted effort then try this...

Make a list of solutions for the on-the-job stuff 1, 2 and 3... Then present your solutions to her. If that doesn't work then try this next thing;

Fourth, ask for a office meeting. Include your boss, you father and the office manager/receptionist in your invitation. Before you invite them, I'd ask you to prepare a few things (pads of paper, pens, maybe a white board). Write a short presentation about making the office more efficient and more pleasant- i.e., assigning specific tasks to one person, arranging a monthly lunch (or even a bi-annual company outing) with everyone to increase communication, and cooperation. Basically what you want is a friendly, more effective work environment.

When you send you invitation make sure you let everyone know that this is a brain-storming session to resolve some management issues and will only take 1/2 to 3/4 of an hour. Make sure you don't go over that.

The thing is, your presentation has to be somewhat formal, show that you know how to run a meeting and is about everyone working together - not nitpicking about her opening your mail. It needs to show you in an adult light as a responsible member of the staff.

Your boss is out of order but will probably feel he is outside the scope of worker rights or contractual obligations. Being a small company means confrontation will be difficult and may have unpleasant repercussions.

Now I would normally tell you to follow procedure and be professional throughout. Perhaps you can keep insisting to your boss that he has a role to fulfill. However....,

I've worked with very similar characters, albeit in a much larger firm, and I got to the point when I just felt completely isolated by senior management when trying to escalate issues. My frustration was compounded by colleagues coming out with lines like "don't let it get to you.....that's just the way he/she is"...arrrrrrrrgggghhh!!

In the end I thought, fuck it, I'm an adult and I really don't need to put up with this shit. I'd like to finish this post by coming up with something heroic like, "I confronted them and put them straight"....but didn't. I did become a complete bastard though and through a number of very petty acts, got loads of self-satisfaction.

Fancy lowering yourself to my level? Then make coffee's for everyone but her. Ooops a pen leaked on her paperwork while she was at lunch. Press a speed dial to your office phone every time she's coming over to your desk.....the opportunities are endless.

Finally, I admit I'm pretty low but damn it - reality is (sometimes), not being able to face confrontation, not getting support and it can make your 8+ hours a day miserable.

You should make sure she has an accident .

2 years of IT experience, eh? Find another job :-P

Looks like I've misunderstood you, then. Hell, I don't understand most of this thread. Best of luck.

Train to have her Eat Lightning.

Seriously though, it indeed sounds like you have tried plenty. One tactic could be now: be prepared to stay only as long as you need to get some savings and a good Plan B job strategy together. Having achieved that, then go to the superior of your cowardly boss and present your case. Talk about how this teamwork black hole is actually costing the company money due to the resulting inefficiency and clean-up-after-the-fact situations. Be calm but firm and make them understand. If they have any wits left they will get that you are A) a valuable asset for the company, since you are able to evaluate processes, motivated to improve inefficient procedures and have the guts to speak up when needed and B) they would thus benefit keeping you around and C) they need to get involved if they want you to stay.

Good luck to you being the change here, when everyone else is just holding on to a deadlock status quo out of fear of confrontation.

Read Licurg's post above. <- Just Kidding. :P

Does she act unreasonably with anyone else?

If yes, then you guys can group up and either talk to her about it, or talk to your boss (as a group).

If no, then you need to have witnesses around when you deal with her so she looks stupid.

Keep being the reasonable party so all of this looks like her problem (which it sounds like it is). And honestly, don't even think you need to stand up to her, she's not "bullying" you in the first place, she's being an unreasonable weirdo. Be cool and awesome at what you do, focus on your future, and let her fall by the wayside; practically, though, you only need to care about her behaviour inasmuch as it interferes with your work. Good luck.

My advice would be that you just have to try and adapt to the situation as best you can.

I would not recommend any hostile scheme even if it is relatively passive, because these things have a way of backfiring.

When it comes to careers, there are two ways of dealing with personal inadequacies - the first way is to undergo personal change, the other way is to master the blame game, smoke and mirrors and subterfuge. So considering that this person has survived in a job a long time, with her disorders unchanged, it must indicate she has chosen the path of mastering the blame game, so you don't want to tangle with her.

The other thing to consider is the value an employer places in an employee, because employers are interested in what is best for their business overall, not any individual situations of simple right or wrong. This is something that trips up allot of employees who are surprised when the boss does not give them the support they expected!

Hello, my friend.
Actually the situation that you are in is excellent for you. A great lesson&test of growing up, I guess everyone who have colleagues at work must go through this one.

Haven't read everyone's response but Momo have supplied you with some solid options.
My personal favorite (started practicing it long time ago) from Momo's link:
"While they move on and forgive, they don’t forget and are unlikely to be taken advantage of again in the same set of circumstances. Highly emotionally intelligent people are lifelong learners, constantly growing, evolving, open to new ideas, and always willing to learn from others. Being critical thinkers, they are open to changing their minds if someone presents an idea that is a better fit. While they are open to ideas from others, and continuously gathering new information, they ultimately trust themselves and their own judgment to make the best decision for themselves."

My advice would be, ask her for a private chat, somewhere where both of you would know no one is listening or watching. Ask her about what problems she have with you and then tell her everything that's bothering you about her behavior, after that both of you will know where you stand at and try to work out a solution that will fix the situation. The important thing is for you to stay calm and talk politely to her. If she refuses the chat or acts improperly during the conversation, just go straight to your boss and say that you tried to improve the relationship with your co-worker but hit the dead-end. If your boss is any kind of a boss he will have to arrange a meeting where this issue will be resolved officially.

Take care.