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Protoss: Well, to elaborate on my earlier posting (I posted it while being depressive yesterday, something I am rarely now but sometimes it still happens).

I found my two girlfriends in an MMORPG "Runes of Magic" which I later found to be a ripoff, but that doesn't matter now. So I met them on I think 21 May 2009, and I had a love relation with one from the start, and with the other since around half a year later (the both were also together at that time, but also a long distance relation).

I had a bad childhood and life, but also life compensated me in several ways for the hardships I go through. Yes, of course I can complain, but what is important is that without these both I probably wouldn't have made it.

Now there is something that will be hard to believe actually to most, but I had a lot of nonphysical sex with the first one (not astral sex, and I never found any description of what we did, due to strange things happening later that might have been dangerous I won't describe it here either), the one I immediately was in love with. It was a very beautiful experience, and I only recently found that other things happening there are also not too uncommon. Yes, it was the most beautiful time in my life, and it is something I very much miss. But I know that out of the around four billion women on this planet, only very few - if any other - could give me the same that she did.
It broke after two years and three months, as said before. I don't know why, but from what I was told it was because she's physically a lesbian. She still loves me, and I still love her, but we couldn't be together on this plane of existence.

I believe that humans (and most probably animals as well) go through many lives, eventually having reached the spiritual growth to stay in Heaven. I am certain I will meet her again, as I will with a lot of people I miss, either on the other side or in a future life.

You could ask if I think so, why didn't I commit suicide. Well, the truth is, I tried three times (in October 2005, in late 2010 and in February 2012). The last time I tried, I took a dose of pills that one simply can't survive. I did, and I didn't have any bad side-effects, apart from being tired for a few days. This made clear to me that, with all the shit I go through, with all the pain, this is not a life I can give up. I'm irreplaceable, or at least I was back then. It is a life I must go through, and it is only now that things start to look better for me.

Physical sex? Well, it is surely interesting, I had it but never did it to the end (=orgasm), mainly because I felt like it would have been wrong, even though I did pay her (once a month, February 2004 to October 2005). Funnily enough I was diagnosed with Asperger's as a child, but I think it is quite the other way round. I have too much empathy, not too less. For me, sexuality is a holy act, something sacred.
Yes, of course it is something I miss, something I would love to do, but it wouldn't work for me to do it with a random woman. I need to do this out of love, or otherwise it won't be the kind of experience I want.

So I still have one long distance girlfriend, but she is not into the nonphysical sex practices, and chances are very slim I ever meet her. Why not dump her, you might wonder. Well, there are several good reasons. First, we love each other. Second, she did a lot for me, more than I could ever repay. Third, I probably wouldn't have the motivation to go on without her.

My ultimate goal is to leave this country, find a nice woman in the new country and marry her. And then maybe earn enough money to be able to visit my long distance girlfriend, or in the best case have her live with us.

I don't expect to get old, but I think I have enough time left to at least find this kind of fulfillment in my life.
Why do you want to leave Germany? Why not help your long distance girlfriend move to Germany after marrying a woman in Germany?

"I believe that humans (and most probably animals as well) go through many lives, eventually having reached the spiritual growth to stay in Heaven."
I believe this too except the heaven part and the eventually having reached the spiritual growth part. Some people never grow so they are constantly reborn, constantly trapped on Earth in their part monkey physical shell.

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AndrewC: One must also remember one strict rule which applies to both guys and girls: "don't stick it in the crazy".
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StingingVelvet: Yeah, this should really me the official motto of America.
So true.

PS
Having a girlfriend is extremely overrated. Don't let the movies, TV shows, books and stupid love poems and other people fool you. There are Pros but there are also Cons. The grass always looks greener on the other side.
Post edited February 03, 2014 by monkeydelarge
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monkeydelarge: The grass always looks greener on the other side.
I disagree.

No possible life I could lead without my wife seems 'greener' than what I have.
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monkeydelarge: Why do you want to leave Germany? Why not help your long distance girlfriend move to Germany after marrying a woman in Germany?
I hate this country!
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monkeydelarge: Why do you want to leave Germany? Why not help your long distance girlfriend move to Germany after marrying a woman in Germany?
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Protoss: I hate this country!
I understand. Germany is not for everyone but the grass is not greener on the other side, everywhere.
Post edited February 03, 2014 by monkeydelarge
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monkeydelarge: Why do you want to leave Germany? Why not help your long distance girlfriend move to Germany after marrying a woman in Germany?
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Protoss: I hate this country!
Yeah well, most day after elections I hate my country as well. Well, not the country, the country is fine. It's all those fucking morons tripping over themselves to fuck over other people so they can get theirs and to hell with everybody else. And most of those morons are getting government handouts because they aren't as self sufficient as they pretend to be.
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Protoss: I found my two girlfriends in an MMORPG "Runes of Magic" which I later found to be a ripoff,
Are you saying that 2 girlfriends cost twice as much but bring more than twice the amount of problems ?


/2_cents_joke
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Protoss: I hate this country!
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hedwards: Yeah well, most day after elections I hate my country as well. Well, not the country, the country is fine. It's all those fucking morons tripping over themselves to fuck over other people so they can get theirs and to hell with everybody else. And most of those morons are getting government handouts because they aren't as self sufficient as they pretend to be.
I can much more identify myself with the mentality of the Balkan countries. Also I blame Germany for many issues I have today, but that would go too far to talk about this.


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Protoss: I found my two girlfriends in an MMORPG "Runes of Magic" which I later found to be a ripoff,
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Potzato: Are you saying that 2 girlfriends cost twice as much but bring more than twice the amount of problems ?

/2_cents_joke
I say that the premium currency is pretty much wasted on the ingame items. Maybe it is better today, but back then you had a random chance to upgrade equipment, and it was better with premium items, but never guaranteed. Also upgraded equipment was pretty much necessary for the late-game stuff, i.e. after reaching max level.
Post edited February 03, 2014 by Protoss
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cmdr_flashheart: It's funny, but entitlement and narcissism can also make one think others are intolerant and un-empathetic.
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Magnitus: I worked in the service industry long enough (as a cashier, service section clerk and meat section clerk) to know that the everyday person could use an extra dose of empathy.

Customers asking you complex questions while you are in the middle of some hard task like carrying an heavy box and not understanding why there is a delay in the answering.

People systematically leaving their carts sprawled anywhere across a huge a huge parking lot when it's almost minus 40 degrees celcius outside.

People going at high speed across a puddle and not minding splashing pedestrians or riding on the pedestrian's ass to cross the road more quickly or generally being aggressive and not giving the pedestrian rights of way when it's pouring outside.

Our inability to successfully tackle preventable issues like AIDS, homelessness and plenty of others.

The systematic corruption of various bodies the minute they stop being supervised despite the great social harm it tends to cause.

And generally, how hard it is to find someone who works hard and well when the job is not super easy nor glamorous (like working in the meat section of a supermarket).

I'm quite disillusioned about the limits of the inherent empathy of the everyday man.

I think empathy is in great part learned through upbringing and life circumstances. You give people a culture that values empathy and they will become more emphatic. You give people a culture that values selfishness and entitlement and they will become thus.
I don't have a lot of time (or patience) to write long responses, no offense :] , so I'll just this last thing:

I have a lot friends in the service industry, so I know what you mean as I've heard many of their horror stories.

Generally, however, the important thing to remember at any time is that you are only privileged to view a situation, or life, from one perspective, and that's yours- you don't know why someone might be impatient, bitchy or awful at a given time, so to make assumptions about their life/upbringing will probably lead you to erroneous conclusions, imo.

As for empathy etc.- plenty of rules (legal or not) and constructs in societies, at large, value empathy and altruism. What's true, however, is that we live in a world of limited resources, and being an asshole can be more rewarding than not; if, however, it was more rewarding to not be an asshole, then you will see more people gravitate towards that end.

Also, people who are in positions of power, or access/promise to positions of power, are often the ones making rules about "making other people play nicely", and that's ironic in more shades than one.
Dont know whether it sucks or not, but i could really use having a gf.
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cmdr_flashheart: I don't have a lot of time (or patience) to write long responses, no offense :] , so I'll just this last thing:
From this and the beginning of your previous post I replied to, I have a feeling I touched a nerve somewhere. I don't think we exchanged before, but perhaps I remind you of someone you dislike, I'm unsure. Offending you was not my intend, just contributing a conversation that interested me.

I don't know what to tell you: I won't apologize for disagreeing with you about this.

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cmdr_flashheart: I have a lot friends in the service industry, so I know what you mean as I've heard many of their horror stories.
I wouldn't call it "horror stories". For me, "horror story" would be a bunch of people leaving a dying man at the side of the street and not call an ambulance or anything.

It's more experiencing the limits of people's empathy in small petty ways on a regular basis.

When people perceive you as being at the bottom of the totem pole (working in the service industry, being a pedestrian, etc), they have fewer qualms about being petty.

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cmdr_flashheart: Generally, however, the important thing to remember at any time is that you are only privileged to view a situation, or life, from one perspective, and that's yours- you don't know why someone might be impatient, bitchy or awful at a given time, so to make assumptions about their life/upbringing will probably lead you to erroneous conclusions, imo.
I don't judge individuals. Individuals can have a hard day, but when you experience things on a pretty consistent basis, it converges toward a probabilistic certainty.

And I'm not talking about being a bartender or otherwise deal with people in a more decontracted and social atmosphere. I'm talking about serving customers in a more tense context where frequent conflicts of interest can arise like at a grocery store.

You can chose to conveniently dismiss the particular insights I gathered over 3-4 years as irrelevant, but I saw what I saw.

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cmdr_flashheart: As for empathy etc.- plenty of rules (legal or not) and constructs in societies, at large, value empathy and altruism. What's true, however, is that we live in a world of limited resources, and being an asshole can be more rewarding than not; if, however, it was more rewarding to not be an asshole, then you will see more people gravitate towards that end.
We live in a very individualistic society.

I view altruisism as coming to terms with your own personal insignificance and taking one for the common good when needed.

Individually, it's always better to be the parasite while everyone else behaves themselves, but if everyone becomes a parasite, society collapses. It's the ultimate social paradox and overcoming it is the key to our very survival as a specie.

We live in a society that has plenty of ressources. We just chose to prioritize things other than the common good. It's that simple.

There is no justification for homelessness, families going hungry and some people having poor access to education or healthcare in western society. That failure is not about ressources, that failure is purely human. It's on us.

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cmdr_flashheart: Also, people who are in positions of power, or access/promise to positions of power, are often the ones making rules about "making other people play nicely", and that's ironic in more shades than one.
We have power, we just choose not to exert it and complacently let people in power abuse theirs.

Never forget it.
Post edited February 04, 2014 by Magnitus
i am 19 and i had two girlfriends and one boyfriend im still friends with two of them, my last relationship kinda made me quit dating for the time being, lost love is traumatizing
Post edited February 04, 2014 by qre3o
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cmdr_flashheart: I don't have a lot of time (or patience) to write long responses, no offense :] , so I'll just this last thing:
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Magnitus: From this and the beginning of your previous post I replied to, I have a feeling I touched a nerve somewhere. I don't think we exchanged before, but perhaps I remind you of someone you dislike, I'm unsure. Offending you was not my intend, just contributing a conversation that interested me.

I don't know what to tell you: I won't apologize for disagreeing with you about this.
You misunderstood- I was not offended. No double meanings here, just what's written.

As for the other post you mentioned, I was making a general statement on my part. I hope that clarifies things :]

"When people perceive you as being at the bottom of the totem pole (working in the service industry, being a pedestrian, etc), they have fewer qualms about being petty."

I think people vary in their perceptions. People who are reasonable don't do what you described above, and unreasonable people can be kept in line by employing varying tactics; the gamut of human experiences, and even variations in biology, produces all sorts of people, and it's impossible to "teach" empathy to some people.

"...but when you experience things on a pretty consistent basis, it converges toward a probabilistic certainty."

Not necessarily true- remember, you're already biased by your own idealism and perception.

"We live in a very individualistic society..."

Like I said, if it's rewarding and profitable to care and empathize, people will, and do, do that; there are numerous examples in anthropology and biology where empathy is/was favoured as a trait because of what it does in return.

I don't know what else to say, except that I hope you have better experiences with people going forward, whether you're still in the service industry or not. Best of luck to you :]
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elendiel7: It's kind of unfortunate that children are more likely to be born with autism or down syndrome if both parents are older. The downside of being financially stable I suppose.
True, but likelihood is still small. There are some standard figures but they seem to be exaggerated by at least a factor of 10 if you read about research results (which is also true for a lot of other birth related figures; it seems like people try to frighten you). There's also some research showing that children of people over 25 year old have higher IQ than those for younger parents.

All in all, I'd say that becoming parents in your mid-30s doesn't have significant drawbacks. Mid-40s, that's more risky.
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Protoss: I found my two girlfriends in an MMORPG "Runes of Magic" which I later found to be a ripoff,
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Potzato: Are you saying that 2 girlfriends cost twice as much but bring more than twice the amount of problems ?

/2_cents_joke
Maybe his 2 girlfriends required expensive DLC in order for him to experience what other girlfriends offer for free? :P
Post edited February 04, 2014 by monkeydelarge
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Potzato: Are you saying that 2 girlfriends cost twice as much but bring more than twice the amount of problems ?

/2_cents_joke
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monkeydelarge: Maybe his 2 girlfriends required expensive DLC in order for him to experience what other girlfriends offer for free? :P
Of course I made them presents for christmas and birthday, but nothing more expensive than others gift, I think. :-)