Personally I've never dated anyone (I'm 24) and don't want to. I deal with enough people daily at work\school that I just want to be alone to relax afterward. I love my games, books, computer, learning and I'm fine with that. My highest aspiration in life is to learn as much as I can before I die. I have no intrest in marriage or kids. Men aren't the only loners...many females are as well by choice or circumstance.

I totally get what you are saying here. Unless you are lucky enough to find a mate that shares most of your interests, your interests will suffer because of together time.

That was one of the biggest adjustment I had to make in a relationship: Having less time to pursue my interests.

You can also look into "personalité limite" (not sure what the English translation is. Edit: Found it. It`s Borderline personality disorder). We've had that in our family. My grand father and aunt suffer(ed) from a particularly acute case of it.

But really, nobody is 100% psychologically. We all have our psychological quirks.

I think upbringing has a lot to do with it.

It is true that a lot of people struggle with empathy, let alone tolerance.

It's funny, but entitlement and narcissism can also make one think others are intolerant and un-empathetic.

No, luckily not. There's a lot you can buy with money, after all.

But honestly, my relationship was more of a spiritual one, and it broke after a bit over two years. Well, I still have one of the two girls, but both were never physically nearby. And yes, they knew about each other.

What does it matter? In the end it's just another thing to achieve or not achieve in your life. I'd be fine if humanity would go extinct, or at least a big part of where I live.

I actually find that to be a positive thing now. People are creatures of habit - we have the tendency to pursue our interests and aren't really inclined to properly explore anything else (properly being the key word here). A partner with different interests - so pretty much any partner - either makes you look for something completely new that you would share together, or makes you more inclined to try what he/she is doing - works the other way around as well obviously.

Having another person in your life to moderate your obsessions and broaden your horizons is always a good thing.

I am currently twenty-one and I have yet to be in a relationship, though I admit that is mostly do to having some serious social anxiety/awkwardness that I have been fixing since I was eighteen. At this point I would say I am on the clear to getting a girl, but I am waiting until I have some line of employment before I start jumping into the fray since that is something I am pretty sure anyone likes to see in their crush/partner/inseparable creatures.

Superman Lover! Best of luck, studs! :)

Well, to elaborate on my earlier posting (I posted it while being depressive yesterday, something I am rarely now but sometimes it still happens).

I found my two girlfriends in an MMORPG "Runes of Magic" which I later found to be a ripoff, but that doesn't matter now. So I met them on I think 21 May 2009, and I had a love relation with one from the start, and with the other since around half a year later (the both were also together at that time, but also a long distance relation).

I had a bad childhood and life, but also life compensated me in several ways for the hardships I go through. Yes, of course I can complain, but what is important is that without these both I probably wouldn't have made it.

Now there is something that will be hard to believe actually to most, but I had a lot of nonphysical sex with the first one (not astral sex, and I never found any description of what we did, due to strange things happening later that might have been dangerous I won't describe it here either), the one I immediately was in love with. It was a very beautiful experience, and I only recently found that other things happening there are also not too uncommon. Yes, it was the most beautiful time in my life, and it is something I very much miss. But I know that out of the around four billion women on this planet, only very few - if any other - could give me the same that she did.
It broke after two years and three months, as said before. I don't know why, but from what I was told it was because she's physically a lesbian. She still loves me, and I still love her, but we couldn't be together on this plane of existence.

I believe that humans (and most probably animals as well) go through many lives, eventually having reached the spiritual growth to stay in Heaven. I am certain I will meet her again, as I will with a lot of people I miss, either on the other side or in a future life.

You could ask if I think so, why didn't I commit suicide. Well, the truth is, I tried three times (in October 2005, in late 2010 and in February 2012). The last time I tried, I took a dose of pills that one simply can't survive. I did, and I didn't have any bad side-effects, apart from being tired for a few days. This made clear to me that, with all the shit I go through, with all the pain, this is not a life I can give up. I'm irreplaceable, or at least I was back then. It is a life I must go through, and it is only now that things start to look better for me.

Physical sex? Well, it is surely interesting, I had it but never did it to the end (=orgasm), mainly because I felt like it would have been wrong, even though I did pay her (once a month, February 2004 to October 2005). Funnily enough I was diagnosed with Asperger's as a child, but I think it is quite the other way round. I have too much empathy, not too less. For me, sexuality is a holy act, something sacred.
Yes, of course it is something I miss, something I would love to do, but it wouldn't work for me to do it with a random woman. I need to do this out of love, or otherwise it won't be the kind of experience I want.

So I still have one long distance girlfriend, but she is not into the nonphysical sex practices, and chances are very slim I ever meet her. Why not dump her, you might wonder. Well, there are several good reasons. First, we love each other. Second, she did a lot for me, more than I could ever repay. Third, I probably wouldn't have the motivation to go on without her.

My ultimate goal is to leave this country, find a nice woman in the new country and marry her. And then maybe earn enough money to be able to visit my long distance girlfriend, or in the best case have her live with us.

I don't expect to get old, but I think I have enough time left to at least find this kind of fulfillment in my life.

Just wanted to add about late parenting, which I remember was mentioned earlier.

I know a lot of people who had children in their late 30s or their 40s. It may be less optimal in some way than having them early on, but it also has advantages, since such people are typically more mature and more financially stable.

Short of it is, a late relationship and family building is possible and can be nice. You don't have to worry about it in your early 20s.

We have this odd penchant to look for a certain degree of justice in this world and entire lives go by trying to find solace or meaning in existence. However there is no true or real meaning to life or existence. Atleast, nothing that is conclusive.

I have lived most of my life like that of an observer. Bearing the burden of being ostracized , being overtly analytical and awkward. I would run away from people since they aren't quite like me. I perceive things differently and was then generally ostracized on account of my demeanor. The only people who were good to me were women. Then again, I used to look a lot better than I do now.

I suppose that instead of living life like an observer, it is better take chances and fail .Better to get rejected than not existing at all. I am not a vegetable and I don't give a flying fark about what people think. I go out and talk to random women (yea I know it is crazy and especially here in India). Have been on a dates with a few as fell and have gotten laid a couple of times (barring the relationships that I have been in). If it doesn't work out then well and good since I tried.

One must also remember one strict rule which applies to both guys and girls: "don't stick it in the crazy". *

I've seen a few of my friends (mostly male) hooking up with a really bad fit because of desperation and ending up worse for it.

* the caveat here being that if you know what you're doing, and don't want a relationship, and know how to handle crazy people, you can very well go ahead and have some amazing fun.
Word! I don't understand people who hook up with gender-inversed clones of themselves.

It's kind of unfortunate that children are more likely to be born with autism or down syndrome if both parents are older. The downside of being financially stable I suppose.

I worked in the service industry long enough (as a cashier, service section clerk and meat section clerk) to know that the everyday person could use an extra dose of empathy.

Customers asking you complex questions while you are in the middle of some hard task like carrying an heavy box and not understanding why there is a delay in the answering.

People systematically leaving their carts sprawled anywhere across a huge a huge parking lot when it's almost minus 40 degrees celcius outside.

People going at high speed across a puddle and not minding splashing pedestrians or riding on the pedestrian's ass to cross the road more quickly or generally being aggressive and not giving the pedestrian rights of way when it's pouring outside.

Our inability to successfully tackle preventable issues like AIDS, homelessness and plenty of others.

The systematic corruption of various bodies the minute they stop being supervised despite the great social harm it tends to cause.

And generally, how hard it is to find someone who works hard and well when the job is not super easy nor glamorous (like working in the meat section of a supermarket).

I'm quite disillusioned about the limits of the inherent empathy of the everyday man.

I think empathy is in great part learned through upbringing and life circumstances. You give people a culture that values empathy and they will become more emphatic. You give people a culture that values selfishness and entitlement and they will become thus.

That is an interesting take on the subject matter.

While I haven't really picked up most of my gf's interests (for example, making jewelry will never be my thing), I do consider that my gf has made me a better more social person.

just hang on
eventually everything works out fine