Fair enough!

I did notice the "stilted prose". My initial internal response was, "His guts oozed nice, like a melted malted." I didn't like to say so on the off chance that it wasn't an intentional style!

My favorite line is:
It came closer, and was a rowboat with a man at the oars.

I hope your story is received well.

Thanks! Me too :)

A little away from the subject: I wonder if 'mine eyes' (my eyes) is similar to 'mon amie' (ma amie or m'amie). That is, the mine is there for the sake of the consonant sound.

I don't know. Was it common to use "mine" where we would use "my" back in the day the Battle Hymn of the Republic was written? Or was it just a poetic thing?

Either way, I still think it sounds hilarious :)

Oh, by the way, to anyone that's bought it... a review on the product page would greatly help. It's unlikely people will be able to find the book without at least 1 or 2 reviews.

I must say that I enjoyed it. I found out about it last night and read all of it today, during the afternoon. I found myself laughing throughout the time I read it. One part that stands out to me was the Cinderella segment.

How come mine was free? Anyway I downloaded it. I'll give it a read sometime. Congrats on publishing something!

It's free until tomorrow. One of the promotions you can do on Amazon.

I was hoping to check it out, but got an error whilst clicking the link.

I dig Bizarro, so this sounds right up my... alley.

Here's a new link: http://www.amazon.com/Monkey-Aladdin-ebook/dp/B00CCITEE6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1373586554&sr=8-1&keywords=Monkey+Aladdin

You don't need one, you can just install the Kindle software on your computer. After buying, Amazon asks where to deliver the book to. You would then just pick the Kindle application.

So I can read kindle books on my computer? Awesome.

I'll update my original post with this. Not sure why mine isn't working.
An amusing note: Amazon apparently does a spell check of your book once it's in Kindle format. It found 6 possible spelling errors. Only 6.

Apparently pizzacato is more obviously a misspelling than Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeth(2,345)s.