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Giveaway over, results posted here.

Today, as I post this, my arbitrary number sequencer with added visual aids in the form of stars will hit 1000 rep. To celebrate this mostly useless (but kinda neat) fact, I have decided to hold a random giveaway for all forum users. Here are the games that can be won:

Deponia
Deponia 2: Chaos on Deponia
Etherlords
S2: Silent Storm Gold Edition
Nox (2x)
Theme Hospital
SimCity 2000™ Special Edition
Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc
Rayman 2: The Great Escape
Rayman Forever

The rules are simple: you must write at least a three sentence dialogue between two or more people containing the following words at least once, not necessarily in such an order:
herpes, mango, marketplace, Death star, Gandalf, murder, nose hair, crazy, Slovenia, drunk, victory, elephant, machine gun, indestructible, fucking bears

I will choose the winners randomly. Only one entry per person (mark it as such), but can be edited. Apart from that, you can post all you want. The entries don't have to be especially coherent, but try to make something fun ;)

This giveaway will run for two days from now. It will end on 29.11.2012 at 12.00 CET.

I think the best method to distribute the games among the winners is to post the game you're most interested in. If you get randomly picked first, you get priority on that game, or you can choose among the games left if you don't have any favorites.
Post edited November 30, 2012 by Titanium
Congrats on your 1000 rep achievement and thanks and +1 for your generosity, Titanium!

Also, a little promotion in the giveaways' listing thread:
http://www.gog.com/forum/general/how_does_one_make_a_gift_aka_gifting_on_gog_for_dummies/post479

My order of preference ;)
1. Deponia
2. Deponia 2: Chaos on Deponia
3. Etherlords
4. S2: Silent Storm Gold Edition
5. Theme Hospital
6. SimCity 2000™ Special Edition
7. Any of the Rayman games

BTW, how much time we have for it, Titanium?

EDIT: I finally wrote the dialogue! Hooray! ;)

---

Orc woman: Already back, so soon? Have you brought the mango that I needed for the meal?
Orc man: No! I just saw Gandalf approaching to the marketplace, and I ran like hell!
Orc woman: Gandalf? Are you drunk... again?
Orc man: No, I'm telling you I saw him!
Orc woman: Why, oh, why I had to marry an Orc from Slovenia? They are all crazy like fucking bears!
Orc man: I'm sure was HIM! My nose hair bristled, all of a sudden!
Orc woman: That also happened the last time you got herpes... Well, if you're saying the truth, why don't you call the Nazgul? There's a huge reward for Gandalf's murder, after all.
Orc man: Are you kidding? The Nazgul would send all of us to attack him. And that guy is indestructible! An elephant could pass him over, and would only tickle him. I don't dare to face him, not even with a machine gun. Hell, we would need a damn Death Star to have a chance of destroy a wizard like him!
Nazgul (breathing): I find your lack of faith in victory disturbing...
Orc man: Aaagh! *choking*
Orc woman: Free at last of my useless husband!
Nazgul (breathing): You're welcome!
Post edited November 28, 2012 by Thespian*
avatar
Thespian*: BTW, how much time we have for it, Titanium?
Damn, completely forgot about that one. I've edited the rules. Thanks for reminding me.
-Hey Jimmy! I heard you went to Slovenia to hunt some fucking bears, you drunk son of a bitch! Is it true?
-Yeah, of course it is.
-Ha! I knew it! You always surprise me, just like that time when you dressed like Gandalf and tried to stab an elephant with a mango! Good times...So how it went in Slovenia? Did you got accused of murder again?
-No, but i got in some serious trouble! Police arrested me for carrying a machine gun in a marketplace so i spent a week in jail. Terrible conditions there! I lost all of my nose hair because of the smell and even got a nasty herpes! I tried to escape but the windows were indestructible. I couldnt get any sleep so i spent all of the nights there watching the moon. It looked exactly like the Death star!
-So how did you got out?
-Got a pretty good lawyer, man. I won my trial. News of my victory were all over the
newspapers there!
-Damn Jimmy, you crazy!


Great and fun idea for a giveaway!
very late edit: i am most interested in these games in this order: rayman forever, rayman 2, rayman 3
Post edited November 29, 2012 by 2mauS
Person 1: Morning Neighbour
Person 2: Morning
Person 1: Been to the marketplace yet? I hear they just had a shipment of fresh Mango's in
Person 2: Nah, thanks, I'll just be getting drunk today
Person 1: Whatever, just make sure you don't catch Herpes like last time, you are crazy when you lose it
Person 2: Here in Slovenia, we are fucking bears, not men, we do what we want
Person 1: You know, thinking you are indestructible really makes you look like an elephant and your mouth fires like a machine gun but in reality all of this will never lead you to victory
Person 2: Says the crazy guy with nose hair
Person 1: Whatever...I'll be off now to watch my DVD's
Person 2: The ones with that Gandalf wizard in them?
Person 1: No, with those movies where the Death star gets blown up in the end
Person 2: Oh, right, well best of luck to ya
Person 1: See ya

I would love Silent Storm gold but in reality any one of those games in that list except the rayman games (that I already own) would be awesome

Thanks for the giveaway!
Post edited November 27, 2012 by Roman5
Thank you for the giveaway, and congratulations for the milestone! I have Theme Hospital already so I'm in for the remaining games (especially for SimCity 2000, Etherlords, and the first two Rayman games) Here's my entry:

A: Not again! Those fucking bears!
B: What's the matter?
A: They're beating me again! I got herpes because of them!
B: You're playing too much games!
A: Well at least in games I can play Gandalf, attack Death star or use a machine gun to be indestructible.
B: And they give you a mango for throphy in real life?! Why is it this mango is on your victory self?
A: I got it from the marketplace yesterday, then I totally forgot the place I put it.
B: Haven't you murdered enough elephants in this idiotic game? Come, let's go outside and get drunk!
A: No decent pubs in Slovenia!
B: Are you crazy? Even your nose hair know better that Slovenia's pubs are the best!
A: You go! I've got some unfinished business with those fucking bears!
Post edited November 28, 2012 by Accatone
Not entering, just wanted to say congratulations Titanium :D

(and thank you for your generosity +1)
I'm in for Deponia or Deponia 2 or Rayman Forever, thanks!

1: Dude, her mango smelled like I bought it on a taiwanese marketplace she bet to have herpes. It smelled like Gandalf's Death star(fish). ITmurdered my nose. I tihnk I lost all my nose and pubic hair because of that crazy smell. I hate Russian brothels.
2: You should've been to Slovenia, dude. Chicks there aren't the easiest to get drunk, but you can gain a victory pretty easily, and there are much less human elephants there, so ti's double win.
1: You're right! Next trip - slovenia! I'm gonna be pounding like a machineguns did in 1944
2: Don't overestimate your skills bro, slavonic chicks are indestructible.
1: At least there are slavonic chicks in Slovenia. Unless on Syberia, where your only salvation are fucking bears.


Thanks for the giveaway!
Post edited November 27, 2012 by keeveek
Not entering, but I wanted to congratulate you on your rep(achivement) and thank you for hosting this very generous giveaway! +1
Thanks for this giveaway, if I win i'd like a copy of S2: Silent Storm Gold Edition



"Those f-king bears!"
Whenever we hear our sarge rage like that we all try to look occupied, pluck our nose hair, clean our machine guns for umpteenth time or just act crazy so he won't pick any of us a a conversation partner when he returns.
"Slovenia is a cold country" John noticed in an absent matter while the sound of sarge's incessant machine gun fire started once again from the balcony.
"Once I thought he's just mad, or drunk, the first two or three times he decided to go all Death star like on wildlife, but now I think he may be only sane person in our outfit" Peter muttered while peeling a half rotten potato we managed to grab in our raid yesterday.
"Remember that time he went ballistic in the marketplace, screaming at rotten magnos, murder in his eyes? Wasted a full belt of ammo before we manged to tackle him" Omar asked while grinning with his signature smile, all shiny white teeth and unkempt beard around them.
We all chuckled sharing a quiet moment of reflection, remembering to smile after a long time.
"He's indestructible!" John piped in. "Completely inneficient, stupid, an elephant in a porcelain shop, our own moronic Gandalf leading us to victory over our own corpses".
Uneasy silence descended upon us, heavier than a smoke from fires down below in the city. We all wanted to break it but nobody knew how.
" I have herpes!" Peter exclaimed.
Sounds of rapid gunfire continued from the balcony.
Congrats Titanium and thanks for your generosity ! :-)
Not entering, btw.
Cool contest, I'm in for Theme Hospital.

Here's my dialog:

1: Oh my God, my head is killing me!
2: I'm not surprised. You drank at least half gallon of that horrible vodka, which was supposed to taste like mango, but it really tasted like crap.
1: What? I don't remember. I hope I didn't do anything stupid.
2: If you don’t count running around in your underwear, wearing only a knitted hat while screaming "I'm Gandalf! Youfucking bears shall not pass here!", and passing out on your friends prize winning Death star –miniature, then I'd say you didn't do anything stupid.
1: That sounds crazy, was it really that bad?
2: Well at least you proved, that Death star in not indestructible, even without using force and missiles.
3: Don't forget that you made out with that dude, which might have had herpes.
1: What?
3: Don't you remember? The guy, who had extremely long nose hair, and whom we met at the marketplace? Who came to the party, dressed like American Psycho, who had just committed his latest murder? You kno, that guy?
1: I remember faintly one guy, who could barely speak English.
3: That's the one. He from Slovenia or something.
1: Sounds like on hell of an evening. I'm glad, that we don't have any plans for tonight. Seems like there's a little army of dwarves running inside my skull, singing victory songs and firing a huge machine gun.
2: You know what would help?
1: What?
2: A nice cold can of elephant beer.
1: Oh God, I think I'm going to barf!
A: So, do you want to hear about how I got herpes?
B: No, I really don't.
A: I was using a machine gun to deal with those fucking bears when I suddenly got a craving for a mango. It was so bad I would have commited murder for a mango! So I went to the marketplace and bought one.
A: But after I ate it I had the weirdest dream that I was Gandalf! And you were my sidekick Gollum.
B: Didn't you have that same crazy dream last time you were drunk?
A: It was different this time! I was using my wizardly powers to create a new indestructible Death star!
A: But then you navigated my death star into the nostrils of a galaxy sized elephant. Then we got entangled in its nose hair.
A: Being indestructible didn't make us any less stuck. So I used the emergency teleporter to teleport to Slovenia.
A: Unfortunately, the teleporter only had enough power for one person. So I had to leave you behind to starve to death.
A: But I'm sure you understood it was for the best. After all, Gandalf must live to ensure the victory of good over evil.
B: ...what's all this got to do with herpes?
A: Nothing, you said you didn't want to hear about that.
Post edited November 27, 2012 by maycett
I'd like: Silent Storm, Etherlords. And thanks for the giveaway.

-Hi, Gandalf!
-Hi, there, you crazy b*stard!
-I'm going to loot the marketplace on my Death star. I need a mango for the herpes I got in Slovenia while f*cking bears.
-Oh, I think you need a more powerful cure for that indestructible disease. You must pick some elephant's nose hair using a machine gun, mix them with blood from a murder, and with vodka. Then, while drunk, you should cry Victory! thrice and sleep for a week.
-Thanks, buddy.
Congratulations on reaching 1000 rep Titanium!! I'd really love to have Etherlords but I also think Deponia looks like it would be fun. Thanks for the giveaway and +1 for your generosity.

Han: "Hey Gandalf, how much further is Slovenia?"
Gandalf: "Not much further my friend. The marketplace there has the best mangos in the galaxy." *Throws beard over his shoulder*
Chewie: "A-oo-mu" *scratch, scratch, scratch*
Han: "That's what you get for fucking bears. Herpes."
Chewie: "Wyoorg!!"
Han: "You were drunk and thought her nose hair looked sexy. They always said that the Death star was indestructible but ol' Sidious had never planned for a Wookie and a Grizzly in the throws of passion."
Gandalf: "HAHAHA!"
Suddenly something jumps out from behind a tree.
Stewie: "I'm going to murder you Lois! Victory shall be mine!!"
Chewie: "Yourg!!?!" (Roughly translated Wookie: "Oh my god! What the hell is this! A crazy midget with a machine gun that's riding an elephant and eating a box of twinkies?! Lets get out of here!!!")