26 here and working on a BA in Business at a BS online college, but I'm too far in debt to pull out now.

Fun times ahead!

I think a majority of us have been in this situation before in some form or another. some more drastic, others not as bad.

I'm a veteran gamer..both in age (37) and in "life experiance". I'm a semi-active member here on the forums. I have Steam and i'm sure i can be reached on here or there. Feel free to contact me, I don't have a WHOLE lot of MP games but i'm usually always up for a round of whatever. And hell, this invite is for anyone on this forum. Even if you just want to BS for a minute. I'm not totally lonely but i'm always up for meeting new folks and making new friends

Hovi

Such is our lot in life. I'm at a similar point in my life as well, with the exception of a precious few who live either far away from me or are caught up in their own RL issues. The vast majority of the people I used to be close to, are either married (or getting married) or are simply too flaky to be counted on as dependable friends. Like Hovis1974, I'm not as young as I used to be.

I think the one thing to be thankful for, actually, is that you're intelligent, astute, and mature enough to understand the reasons for your social situation are myriad, coming from a lot of sources - not the least of which being a society which apparently values insincerity and extrovertism. Cold comfort I know, but I think we're all familiar with how so many people play the "Oh, it's just because I have Asperger's Syndrome" card. It's fortunate that you know what's wrong, and that you know what to do. I think you've got it in you to rise above everything that's dragging you down.

Anyway, I'm on Skype/MSN/etc. - if you feel like you want a chat, even if on PM, drop me a line. I'm kind of mixed about this. I fully agree with the debilitating effects of lonliness and isolation; I battled this during grad school when I lived in an area similar to where you are now, and it was one of the worst periods of my life, by far.

But on the flipside, I think that being alone is only marginally preferable to being with people who have a negative impact on your self-esteem and self-worth. If you're in a toxic friendship where being with someone makes you feel worse about yourself, get out! The time you spend with someone who drags you down emotionally would be better spent looking for people who don't.

Of course it's easier said than done. When I returned home after my last job, many of the few remaining available friends who I were close to showed that they weren't interested in spending time with me. The ones who were available were either (a) eager to brag about how awesome their lives were, or (b) too flaky, flighty and unreliable to even just reach out to. I had two people even attack me for how I'd handled a breakup where I had to get out of a very unhealthy relationship. In the end, I had to let a lot of people go, and it's been a very unhappy time for me. But in the end, learning to let go of people is just as important as learning to open up to them.

No. This is bad advice.

I'm in the same boat as you, except I don't even play multiplayer games (the power line in my apartment is absolute shit, so I can't plug in a newer computer - or any computer unattended - or a clothes iron, or an electric teapot). Also, I live in Moscow, Russia (15M people), and it's impossible to find local people who know English enough to be interested in the same stuff.

Anyway - less than a week ago, I decided to stop being nice to people
- who call gay people "kiddy diddlers";
- who seriously demand a "minimum attractiveness requirement" for homosexuals and fans of everything they also like (so that you don't ruin their masturbatory fantasies with your ugly mug);
- who insult the intelligence of queer women (and women in general);
- who masturbate to natural monopoly privatizeers and cheer on racist bastards ("all Middle Eastern people are fat ugly pedos");
- who publicly insult people's competence and never issue a public apology once being proven full of shit;
- who feed placebos instead of meds to their sick kids;
- who supply gallons of booze to nominally recovering alcoholics;
- who, after volunteering to help you sort out your private life, then spread the juicy details of said private life;
- who hold a public vote which of their friends is the best;
- and who attempt to guilt-trip you to give refuge to an abused woman, telling you all the private details about her life, unasked, but conveniently forgetting to mention that the eldest kid of said woman (who you are also supposed to house) is clinically insane, uncontrollable, violent, and destructive.

Edit: after the rant, I forgot to actually make a point. Which is - sure, the Internet made us jaded. I swear at the communal TV each time I happen to be in the room and they say something stupid or offensive, because I'm used to blocking ads and not reading stupid shit. I buy games on the cheap and pirate other media, so I'm not compelled to finish a bad book or movie just because I paid for it. IRL communication is important, but there's a level of assholery when it's better to adapt to exclusively online communication with a better class of people than play along with douchebags.

The way I go about things is I do what I want, when I want. I don't actively hurt people or undermine them, but I refuse to play the "social game" the way society wants people to. You want to see a movie but I don't? Have fun on your own. You want to go take a trip but I don't wanna go? Bye bye. You want to go out drinking, but I hate social drinking? I'm not going.

I'm not an asshole, but I refuse to bend myself or my beliefs to satisfy other people. That goes for visiting with company who show up unannounced, that goes for people online, that goes for anyone. People don't like that, they expect you to bend to their wants. I barely keep in contact with family or old friends for that reason. Bending a little to satisfy people is fine; constantly letting others break you for their own desire is wrong.

When I went to physical college, I treated it like a job. I wasn't interested in making friends, I wasn't interested in partying, I wasn't interested in one night stands or relationships; I wasn't interested with putting up with other people. I'd be nice, and I'd even try to help people through classes but it was strictly that relationship. I kept my distance, and I expected others to as well. I only want friends who share my interests or desires, such as gaming, MMA, pro-wrestling, anime, or any others. If you don't have the same interests as me, I'll treat you fine and be nice, but you'll probably never get closer then that. But if you can get closer then that, I'll be the most loyal friend you'll ever know. Only two people have ever made it that far with me though.

So my advice? Screw people. Be who you want to be, and do what you want to do. Don't feel the need to bend yourself to others wills. You want to meet people? You've got a lot of offers on this thread alone, but you don't have to make yourself play their games or deal with their attitudes. The worst thing a person can do is allow themselves to be a doormat for other people without trying to force their own desires. That isn't being a friend, that is being someone's tool for their own amusement.

Well I understand that there are people like us - the non conformists. There is nothing wrong with us and we are just that "honest" and "unpretentious" but given the deplorable state of the job opportunities present in my country and social dogma that exists ensures that someone like me is punished for not being able to adhere to such social nepotism.

I am 26 now - I have friends - except that I don't meet them. I have women who like me - except that I ignore them because I am unsure of my own stability
I have a great job and I am considered to be in a place that is the holy grail of my profession - except that my colleague is an uber - bitch who disregards my intelligence with rthat annoying self pompous condescending tone of hers.

I live with my parents - that sucks and my father does not have a steady source of income meaning that I have to stick with a job that I hate. I love writing except that I have to write about things that I have no goddam interest in like Plastics & Polymers. At times I do feeling like stabbing myself - but I can't do it.

Most of all I hate the tube light in my office but I am too embarrassed to tell anyone because it might come across as being too weird.

I stopped reading somewhere around the middle but I would honestly suggest therapy. You need to gain some shred of self-confidence or you're going to have a miserable life... you probably won't even realize how miserable you are until you come out of it a bit.

You could "accidentally" break it and then offer to buy a new one. And then you just put a normal lightbulb.

Oh, I wouldn't go that far. OP seems to have a brain, and to me he just seems to be trying to objectively look at his situation - a thing many people can't seem to do. Telling him he'll be miserable unless he adapts/conforms/grows a pair doesn't seem to be helpful.
Couldn't have said it better myself.

Tough love is often the best thing. He says bluntly he is socially maladjusted. He needs help.

The problem with society is that it is much easier to blame an individual rather than society itself since they have strength in numbers.

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There are social niches for every personality and perspective on the world, that's completely irrelevant. No one is saying he should start going to football parties, or even be an extrovert for that matter. I am introvert, but there is a huge gap between introvert and socially maladjusted with no friends or romantic relationship.

It's not healthy to be completely antisocial, it goes against our core needs. From the paragraphs I read it seemed his maladjustment was based on low self-esteem, which therapy can help with.

I understand the OP's situation very well. I too face a similar kind of dilemma and my problem stems from the fact that I cannot strike an immediate rapport with people because I lack the ability to reciprocate emotionally.

However my job heavily emphasizes on an external locus of identity which is why when I interview or take quotes from people then I pretend that I a specific character from a tv show or something who is more social. It does help to a degree but I can only fake things so far.

Playing video games is interaction, same as reading books is. It's just that you're interacting with the author/developer's world, instead of say a person.

The problem is just having an idle mind and getting bored, the solution is simple: Play more games, don't just laze about on the internet, get stuck into that backlog.