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deathknight1728: I am obsessing over this girl that turned me down 2 months ago. I cant stop thinking about her even though she did turn me down as she was really cool. Its really pretty friggin lame as it hurts physically as well as emotionally. Can anyone recommend a way to gain apathy, as in not caring at all?

I sometimes wish i could be apathetic like Artemis Entreri, then i wouldnt worry about about a thing. Any advice?
Get older?

Seriously, once you're about 14 or so, you'll stop caring. I know I did. Never went on a date in my life, heck, girls went out of their way to avoid me. I'll admit, I have no idea what it's like to be physically and emotionally hurt by somebody, or what it's like to care about somebody other than oneself, but if somebody doesn't like you, I don't understand why a person would feel any sort of attachment to them after that.

Some people think dying alone and never having children is such a bad thing. There are plenty of brats in the world, both entitled and destitute, and having a significant other keeps you from doing all the things you can do when the only one who sees or cares is you. You're trying to seek out a burden. If somebody loves you, and you love them back, great. Otherwise, that's not love, and it will never end happily. Almost every married couple I've seen has divorced. Even grandparents are getting divorces these days.

She clearly isn't thinking about you. Don't let it eat away at you like this, apathy is very easy to attain. It's learning to care that's hard. Aside from caring about the guy in the mirror, I don't know a thing about that. I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I like it that way. :P
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deathknight1728: I am obsessing over this girl that turned me down 2 months ago. I cant stop thinking about her even though she did turn me down as she was really cool. Its really pretty friggin lame as it hurts physically as well as emotionally. Can anyone recommend a way to gain apathy, as in not caring at all?

I sometimes wish i could be apathetic like Artemis Entreri, then i wouldnt worry about about a thing. Any advice?
It may sound like a weird thing to say, but I found that the best way to attract women is to not really depend on having one around.

Ask yourself: Would you want a woman that is overly emotionally dependent on you? No? Well, its the same thing for them.

Love at first sight seems like a grand thing, but in my experience, it doesn't happen too often (if ever).

More often, love is something that develops over time (at least for one of the partners if not both) and the relationship progresses with the progression of the sentiment.

So if you feel yourself becoming too intense too fast, put a cooler on it because you will most likely repel her.

What worked best for me when dating is too assume that most probably, nothing would come of it (which is a realistic expectation) so you might as well be yourself and at ease. Nothing "special" that you do will change the outcome. At best, it will be a facade that you won't be able to maintain over time anyways.

And btw, you want to do some screening yourself, you won't be right for a lot of women and the reverse is also true, a lot of women won't be right for you.
Post edited June 16, 2011 by Magnitus
Dude, rule #1, don't put pussy on a pedestal.
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deathknight1728: <snip>
First ask yourself why you're obsessing over her. Most common reasons?

1. You placed her on a pedestal and you think she was perfect for you.
2. You took a hit to your ego because someone turned you down.

The first one is easy. Stop ignoring and overlooking her faults. We all do it with people we care about, but there's no reason to overlook the faults of someone that rejected you. Remember that there's always someone better, if for no other reason than the fact that someone who is interested in you is tons better than the illusion of the perfect woman that wasn't interested in you. Besides the girl that rejected you probably snores! :p

As for the second reason, admit that you just don't have the "game" yet. Learn from your mistakes with her and move on. Figure out what you did that worked, what didn't work and use those lessons the next time you're trying to court a girl.

Finally I'm going to agree with some of the other advice I saw here. Just get out and do something, don't keep moping around worrying about her. Start a new hobby, go out and hang with people. Walk up to someone random person at a park and say "Hey I have a chess set with me, want to play a friendly game? I'm not any good, but at least I provide excellent conversation!" (Note: make sure you have a chess set and at least know the rules of the game before trying this specific line)
I'm an advocate of "time heals all wounds".

Eventually, one day, you'll find she no longer matters and the pain you feel now will be just like a closed wound.
Man I here you. I was young once, and the only cure for rejection is time. Sorry it has to be so hard as that, but that is the way life goes, we are not the center of the universe, and it hurts. I feel your pain. It will pass though, mostly :D
There will be another, don't you worry friend. Maybe the next one will be the one eh?
Post edited June 16, 2011 by KOCollins
I would argue that it's better to have had and lost than never to have had at all... but then, I'm not one to talk as I'm in the latter position.
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Miaghstir: I would argue that it's better to have had and lost than never to have had at all... but then, I'm not one to talk as I'm in the latter position.
I hear you in so many ways, you don't even know how much of the latter I've had ;)
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deathknight1728: I am obsessing over this girl that turned me down 2 months ago. I cant stop thinking about her even though she did turn me down as she was really cool. Its really pretty friggin lame as it hurts physically as well as emotionally. Can anyone recommend a way to gain apathy, as in not caring at all?

I sometimes wish i could be apathetic like Artemis Entreri, then i wouldnt worry about about a thing. Any advice?
Yeah, I don't think trying to gain apathy would be a realistic (or worthy) pursuit -- if you're not already a cold-hearted emotionless bastard then you're not gonna become one unless, maybe, if something seriously horrible and traumatizing happens to you... Just for reference, since you brought him up: Artamis Entreri was born to a prostitute on the streets of a big city and was constantly abused by his adopted father and uncle until, eventually, his mother sold him to a pedophile merchant who proceeded to treat him worse than his father and uncle combined. The merchant then planned to sell him into slavery, but Artemis found out and escaped. This was when he was nine, and from then on he was forced to live and survive on the streets, alone.

But back to real life (and real people) -- this stuff happens. Girls are gonna come and go, and some will hurt you more than others, but it's part of life. Try not to get hung up on it for too long. Instead, get back to the things you enjoy; hang out/party with friends, find a great video game or book or TV series that you can really get into, play a sport... and before you realize it you'll be over her.

Oh, and wear sunscreen.
Post edited June 16, 2011 by Lorfean
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deathknight1728: ...
You'll need two things: time and distraction.

After some time the pain is gone and distraction helps you having a decent life until then. So keep playing GOGs! :)
I'm with the rest. Time is the best solution for this, moving on as you can and find something to distract you from obsessing further.

It's part of life, or so they tell me. I was apparently built without the capacity for falling in love, so I wouldn't know. But I've obsessed over other things, and usually time and distraction helps you move on.
This is known as experience. No, not that kind, not the one you can put into hitting some guy harder with a sword or magically increase your barter skill. What you experience changes you, no matter how little you'd like to. You'll forget soon enough, and in the future you'll be able to think back and reflect on this. Of course, if it's happened too often by then you might be a miserable bitter git, who have been so disillusioned with his pursuit for love that he's ready to build a doomsday weapon and destroy the world for having too many people enjoy love.

But apathy, no you won't gain that. You care too much. Which is good. The day you stop caring completely is the day you something something destroy the world see if I don't *grumble mumble grab soldering iron to work on doomsday device chuckling maniacly under breath*
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DrakeFox: But apathy, no you won't gain that. You care too much. Which is good. The day you stop caring completely is the day you something something destroy the world see if I don't *grumble mumble grab soldering iron to work on doomsday device chuckling maniacally under breath*
How I wish all of life's problems could be solved with a soldering iron in one hand and a multimeter in the other. Hey, maybe they CAN!

*grabs soldering iron*

MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

*runs out of house*

*soldering iron cable unplugs itself from the outlet*

Awwww.... ;_;
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deathknight1728: I am obsessing over this girl that turned me down 2 months ago. I cant stop thinking about her even though she did turn me down as she was really cool. Its really pretty friggin lame as it hurts physically as well as emotionally. Can anyone recommend a way to gain apathy, as in not caring at all?

I sometimes wish i could be apathetic like Artemis Entreri, then i wouldnt worry about about a thing. Any advice?
Speaking as a cold hearted emotionless bastard, I can tell you it's not a state you really want to aim for. There's a reason that the quote "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all" is so famous.

You'll find a new girl to break your heart soon. Until then perhaps try flipping out, join the army, later become a contract killer... or that role playing club, whichever one takes your fancy.
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wpegg: Speaking as a cold hearted emotionless bastard, I can tell you it's not a state you really want to aim for.
Yes. Yes it is. You wind up having money, you can actually be analytical and pragmatic about whom you choose you go after, and life is awesome.
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LordKuruku: How I wish all of life's problems could be solved with a soldering iron in one hand and a multimeter in the other. Hey, maybe they CAN!

*grabs soldering iron*

MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

*runs out of house*

*soldering iron cable unplugs itself from the outlet*

Awwww.... ;_;
Obviously you need a bettery powered ColdHeat soldering iron.