If a relationship doesn't have honesty then its just fuck buddies with obligations. That doesn't mean you say "bitch you so fat", it means you say "honey for both our sakes I think we need to be more healthy. I think you're beautiful now, and I always will, but lets be the best we can be" or something. It depends on the situation.

Being obese is not good for anyone. This idea we have to tip-toe around it like its a race or sexual orientation is just making people fatter.

This is true, but you are making the assumption that it is an honest question to which she expects an honest answer, and that is almost never the case.

She doesn't actually want to know whether she's fat, or whether you think she's fat. She's insecure about something (you get to guess what; it may not have anything to do with real or imagined flab) and wants strokes.

While ravishing her on the spot is excessive in most situations, it's the general direction in which your answer should tend.

Since the question wasn't: "Hypothethical: your girlfriend is fat - what do you say to her?" it kind of suggests the boyfriend doesn't necessarily agree with her and it's more a problem of low self-esteem, fishing for compliments or something similar (like cjgreen already pointed out). At least that's what most posters apparantly assumed.

I might not fit the norm, but I never noticed when I was with someone, only after , in pictures, maybe.

It seems I just saw them as who they were, the changes so slow as to be imperceptible, and could only tell after the fact.

It used to happen when I'd come home on leave, spend every day with my fiance, and she'd usually gain 12-15lbs while I was home. We always went out to eat, is maybe why, but I never noticed until I went back overseas and saw the difference between pictures of us when I first came home, and those at the end.

Was no problem, as all within a normal range, but I really never noticed.

So?

She should get the answer she needs.

"My dear, they say that women think they are several sizes larger than they are, and men several sizes smaller than they are.Now doesn't that make you feel better?" ;)

How long have you been in a relationship with one woman?

Your belief that there is an answer she "needs" is a sign that you did not listen to her. And she will take it that way.

The issue is the sheer f*cking unreliability of women's clothing sizes. How many people have been out with their lady whilst she wanders around shops to find that she can jump up to 4 sizes in the travel from one shop to the next? I know they've not gained that much in the journey between shops. This also ends up ruining your day because your lady who usually wears a size 8 is suddenly only able to fit in a size12 and, despite having gained no weight or girth, she decides she is suddenly fatter because the clothes say so. I don't have that issue with men's clothing at all.

I'd probably say something along the lines of "Well, in some cultures and at different periods, like antiquity or the mid-nineteenth century, being overweight was/is apparently considered beautiful. Since fashion goes in cycles, you could try staying that way for a few decades, see if it becomes fashionable again".

Oh dear, a gaming site discussing about the mystery womenhood and suddenly we have all the experts. They are not aliens or something what one woman thinks doesnt mean all women think that way.

I usually "pinch an inch" and then go... "wellllll... according to some things I've read....."

Not anyworse than the sexual position one lol

"I wouldn't necessarily say 'fat', but have you thought about signing up for female Sumo ?"

You're falling into the same trap if you meant to imply that people on a gaming website are less qualified to talk about the subject of women than any other guys (or gals), or that opinions in this thread are typical for gamers, or that all the experts here have the same background, are of the same opinion or even take it seriously to the same degree as you or others. Oh, and I hope you didn't mean to imply that all aliens think alike? ;)