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Whatever you say in this situation is wrong. So you're better off immediately jumping out of the window to end your misery quicker. :P

Seriously, I don't like it when women behave like in Cosmopolitan and throw temper tantrum over such insignificant things.
"About time you noticed". Nothing can go wrong, guaranteed.
I just pick my girlfriend up, hoist her over my shoulder and walk around with her for about 5 minutes then tell her that as long as I can do that, she's not fat.
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jefequeso: So does everyone just have defective girlfriends, or did I just luck out?
Oh don't worry, yours is defective too:)
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orcishgamer: Well, duh! Why do you think I got you a gym membership for Valentine's Day?
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SimonG: There is a reason 95% of all violent crimes are committed at home...
Don't worry, I can always calm them down with such carefully designed phrases as, "Well it's true!","Oh like you didn't know!" and "Why do you think I started doing your sister a few months ago?"
Post edited March 26, 2012 by orcishgamer
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SimonG: There is a reason 95% of all violent crimes are committed at home...
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orcishgamer: Don't worry, I can always calm them down with such carefully designed phrases as, "Well it's true!","Oh like you didn't know!" and "Why do you think I started doing your sister a few months ago?"
And, if everything fails, you can still block the knife with your chest.
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Charon121: Whatever you say in this situation is wrong. So you're better off immediately jumping out of the window to end your misery quicker. :P

Seriously, I don't like it when women behave like in Cosmopolitan and throw temper tantrum over such insignificant things.
It's always a bad sign when women start reading that crap. My girlfriend does buy one of these magazines on the odd occasion but she's intelligent enough to know that they're only good for a laugh and that they are otherwise sexist, aneroxia-glorifying shitrags.

She'll often come up to me asking me about these ludicrous claims made in them about what men like in bed (of course, ALL men like the same things in bed) and she'll always have this grin on her that tells me she knows it's patently ridiculous.

Sad though that other women are not so savvy and do let themselves get dictated to by a magazine that tells them that 75kg is "fat".
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jamyskis: *snip* of course, ALL men like the same things in bed *snip*
Well, maybe to a certain degree of accuracy: Cosmotopian
i sing this for her
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDSK91mUNLU&ob=av2e
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orcishgamer: Don't worry, I can always calm them down with such carefully designed phrases as, "Well it's true!","Oh like you didn't know!" and "Why do you think I started doing your sister a few months ago?"
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SimonG: And, if everything fails, you can still block the knife with your chest.
Ah, young love!
Only on Wednesdays.. if your lucky its Tuesdays at night , you need a 3 jacks and a queen to win unless its thursdays then three jacks and you loose.. but if you have 3 jacks and a ace...
Not this one? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY84MRnxVzo
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graniteoctopus: what do you say?
you slap her on the bottom and yell...

Watch it wiggle!!
Well i think both would be me ending getting a cold shower and sleeping on the couch ;p
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graniteoctopus: what do you say?
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lukaszthegreat: you slap her on the bottom and yell...

Watch it wiggle!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oB5zqLeuAPc
Post edited March 26, 2012 by hercufles
I'd fake a heart attack
I remembered this clip from Friends: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emHSO5dr6dk