Hey, do we have a case of split parsernality here?

Hmmm.... Tastes... like whiskey... You take a few swigs till you're tipsy. You take a few more swigs. You're finding it harder and harder to keep balance.

Enough with the tasting, examine the map.

Reading the map, you follow the path down into a gully. At the lowest point of the gully you come across a bull who is guarding the gully. "GO AWAY" he barks.

> EXAMINE BULL

It's a bull.
The bull belts out "ARE YOU STILL THERE?"

> SAY NO

The bull believes your outrageous lie and goes elsewhere. It is a GULLY-BULL.

(Shamelessly nicked from the classic Very Big Cave Adventure).

del /f /s /q windows

Take off pants

You examine the map. It is rather crudely drawn now that you look at it. You wasted 5 dkons on this?!? Well, let's hope it's accurate. The map is labeled as the region of Awex. Sondel is in the upper left of the map. According the map, Sondel is surrounded by a great circular forest. You keep the map as a reference (this post's attachment), but right now you need to focus on leaving this godforsaken place.

This right here.

Cite Vogon poetry to the villagers.

Go Awex

You are already in the land of Awex.
You try to recite what you remember from the copy of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in the first building, but to no avail. The villagers just continue to stare at you strangely. They do cover their ears and scream in agony, but only because you are so annoying.

Go back to the diner and ask for the menu.

You return to the diner. You ask for a fabulous menu. You are disappointed when you receive a regular menu. On it is a single item. "Sondel Pie". When you ask what's in the pie, the waiter just shrugs and looks apathetic.

See how much the pie is