If you hate them: A copy of Goblin 2

If you really hate them: A copy of Manos, the Hand of Death

If you really hate them to the point of murder: A pregnancy test kit and a wireframe hanger.

Any Apple product.

No, wait, that would be spending way too much money to do the same thing one could do 100 different ways for less, or even free.

So then I'd have to go with:

Because what better way to mend a relationship and find common ground?

Of course! Greeks loved their wooden horse.

Advice.

A computer with CRT monitor, 3Dfx graphics card, mechanical ball mouse and running a copy of Windows ME, and a year's subscriptions to O magazine, Us Weekly, TIME and MAD.

Postal III.

If I really hate you I will send you to Nilbog. (Pssst, Nilbog read backward is Goblin!)

Goblin 2 and Manos would be WONDERFUL gifts depending on the individual.

Worse sets of DVDs: used, likely rental copies of Murder by Numbers, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, Don't Say a Word, Deuces Wild, American Outlaws, All About the Benjamins, The Interpreter, Charlies Angels 2, Miss Congeniality 2, Meet the Fockers, Life or Something Like It, Elektra, Aeon Flux...

Basically anything this guy would own.

So I do I make you not like me?

When I was in France and there was this obnoxious waiter in one restaurant who was very abusive and unfriendly (I'd say even hostile, for no good reason) towards us, I left an used Finnish stamp for him as a tip.

I don't know why I had an used stamp in the wallet, but I am happy I did. A condom could have probably worked as well, just as a message of "Please don't procreate.", but unfortunately I had none. I was visiting there for work, not pleasure.

For relatives you hate, maybe dump any old VHS movies you have to them?

I was being a smartass. Sorry about that. As soon as I made the post I realized I have nothing against Steam, people who use it, or DRM in general but by that time I'd already posted and figured I might as well take the grief for such a stupid post.

Fake chocolate cake slices. Like fake fruit but infinitely more disappointing. I saw them in a gift ship today.

And I was being a smartarse who can't write a correct sentence to save his life. Anyway, enough people on the forum do hate Steam, so I didn't think that much of it.

Maybe a copy of Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing?