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Red_Avatar: Teachers are often the main people to blame for bullying.
In my case, members of the school board were the worst bullies. I was at the epicentre of School District 36 during Canada's shameful book banning and the resulting student suicide.
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stonebro: Your understanding of the psychology surrounding victims of sustained bullying = ZERO PERCENT
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StingingVelvet: Funny, because I went to college for pretty much that exact stuff. Also I was relentlessly bullied in middle school, to the point I was afraid to go. It didn't stop until I finally hit a growth spurt my freshman year in high school and became intimidating.

Bullying is horrible and can have severe effects on how you grow up. That said, if you actually kill yourself, you had other issues as well.
I agree because not every one that is bullied kills themselves. I think the bullying is just part of the issue but it quick and easy to point the finger. No mom or dad would ever say it was their fault.
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StingingVelvet: Bullying is horrible and can have severe effects on how you grow up. That said, if you actually kill yourself, you had other issues as well.
Issues such as?

Bullying often, but not always, means total or a high degree of social isolation, real or perceived. We're hardwired to react very strongly to social isolation. Hence the issues which leads one to commit suicide can easily spring from the bullying itself and not any other independent issues.

People who get bullied often end up without any real friends or everyday relations outside their family at a very vulnerable age. From there the way is short to depression and major depression, and from there suicide is just an impulse away.

Most suicides aren't heavily pre-planned. They're a spur of the moment thing, and it just so happens the gun was available, or it seemed like a really nice day for a walk off a bridge.
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stonebro: Hence the issues which leads one to commit suicide can easily spring from the bullying itself and not any other independent issues.
Bullying also made some excellent serial killers. After the outside world spends years explaining to them that it's just a machine that wants them to suffer, they respond by removing random cogs from that machine. After reading some of the biographies it's really hard to judge the subjects.
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stonebro: Issues such as?

Bullying often, but not always, means total or a high degree of social isolation, real or perceived. We're hardwired to react very strongly to social isolation. Hence the issues which leads one to commit suicide can easily spring from the bullying itself and not any other independent issues.
Mental illness, anxiety disorders especially, would be top on the list probably. Also a lack of self-worth, which likely started at home before the kid ever started getting picked on at school or on the internet.

Bullying is not causation by itself, otherwise the suicide numbers would be astronomical. The first thing you learn in sociology is that nothing is a trigger, it's all cumulative.
I don't think some people realize how bullying is far worse than it was back then. If you got bullied in the 90's or earlier, once you get home you were generally safe. With social media, you get mocked and abused 24/7 and instead of being isolated to just some people laughing at you, now the whole world can anytime on facebook.
Post edited December 01, 2011 by Kabuto
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Barnell: I agree because not every one that is bullied kills themselves. I think the bullying is just part of the issue but it quick and easy to point the finger. No mom or dad would ever say it was their fault.
I also agree and was going to say some of the stronger stuff said by some in here but held back to be careful of what I said. Thing is, parents are also to blame in many of these cases for not taking their kids seriously enough or getting enough help quickly enough for their kids....and if they do try to do something it's usually too late and too little, sadly.

But as it's usually bad form in many countries to speak ill of the dead(even right bastards), it's also usually taboo to blame the parents of suice victims/bullying victims for any wrongdoing when the kid is dead.


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Kabuto: I don't think some people realize how bullying is far worse than it was back then. If you got bullied in the 90's or earlier, once you get home you were generally safe. With social media, you get mocked and abused 24/7 and instead of being isolated to just some people laughing at you, now the whole world can anytime on facebook.
It's called shutting off the internet, or not going to that website. It's not like the web holds a gun to your head forcing you to do what it wants you to.
Post edited December 01, 2011 by GameRager
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stonebro: Issues such as?

Bullying often, but not always, means total or a high degree of social isolation, real or perceived. We're hardwired to react very strongly to social isolation. Hence the issues which leads one to commit suicide can easily spring from the bullying itself and not any other independent issues.
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StingingVelvet: Mental illness, anxiety disorders especially, would be top on the list probably. Also a lack of self-worth, which likely started at home before the kid ever started getting picked on at school or on the internet.

Bullying is not causation by itself, otherwise the suicide numbers would be astronomical. The first thing you learn in sociology is that nothing is a trigger, it's all cumulative.
Bullying could cause all those conditions (i.e. symptoms) in a co morbid fashion and still remain the root cause. Sure not everyone's pre-wired to be so easy to push over the edge but neither is everyone pre-wired to become an alcoholic really easily either.

Besides, it's hard to account for mitigating factors from the bullying, just having that one, nerdy friend that no one else likes either might be enough to "save" some kids. Having a greater sense of belonging due to a sibling at home could also do so. It doesn't necessarily have to be every case of suicide is because the parents sucked.
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GameRager: It's called shutting off the internet, or not going to that website. It's not like the web holds a gun to your head forcing you to do what it wants you to.
Sure, but bullies are able to cut you off from communities that might otherwise have been a source of refuge. We still have analog stuff, Little League, Boy/Girl Scouts, FFA, and the like, but less and less people do those, sadly. Oftentimes internet is cheapest recourse for kids in poor areas, especially poor, urban areas.
Post edited December 01, 2011 by orcishgamer
There are alternatives to most online communities, and I for one would rather those kids be cut off from the sites giving them trouble or redirected to new ones than my "rights" curtailed in any way because it's the easiest or most visible recourse for lawmakers/lobbyists/etc.
Post edited December 01, 2011 by GameRager
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Barnell: I agree because not every one that is bullied kills themselves. I think the bullying is just part of the issue but it quick and easy to point the finger. No mom or dad would ever say it was their fault.
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GameRager: I also agree and was going to say some of the stronger stuff said by some in here but held back to be careful of what I said. Thing is, parents are also to blame in many of these cases for not taking their kids seriously enough or getting enough help quickly enough for their kids....and if they do try to do something it's usually too late and too little, sadly.

But as it's usually bad form in many countries to speak ill of the dead(even right bastards), it's also usually taboo to blame the parents of suice victims/bullying victims for any wrongdoing when the kid is dead.


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Kabuto: I don't think some people realize how bullying is far worse than it was back then. If you got bullied in the 90's or earlier, once you get home you were generally safe. With social media, you get mocked and abused 24/7 and instead of being isolated to just some people laughing at you, now the whole world can anytime on facebook.
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GameRager: It's called shutting off the internet, or not going to that website. It's not like the web holds a gun to your head forcing you to do what it wants you to.
You don't get it. She doesn't have to log on. The other girls can continue to harass her and tell everybody else to do the same via facebook or twitter. It's worse than a chain letter. The Gaspe girl can no longer limit when she gets bullied. It's now 24/7 whether she's online or not.
Post edited December 01, 2011 by Kabuto
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Kabuto: You don't get it. She doesn't have to log on. The other girls can continue to harass her and tell everybody else to do the same. It's worse than a chain letter. The Gaspe girl can no longer limit when she gets bullied. It's now 24/7 whether she's online or not.
Doesn't really work that way if you ignore the sites now does it? Speech/Bullying online only has power if you give it to it or those writing it. Ignore said speech and it has no further direct effect on you and loses some or most of it's power.

This sort of reminds me of those who'd rather we ban tv programs of such and such instead of just getting parents to limit what their kids watch. It all comes down to making the child the gov'ts responsibility/our responsibility or the parent's responsibility.
Post edited December 01, 2011 by GameRager
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Kabuto: You don't get it. She doesn't have to log on. The other girls can continue to harass her and tell everybody else to do the same. It's worse than a chain letter. The Gaspe girl can no longer limit when she gets bullied. It's now 24/7 whether she's online or not.
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GameRager: Doesn't really work that way if you ignore the sites now does it? Speech/Bullying online only has power if you give it to it or those writing it. Ignore said speech and it has no further direct effect on you and loses some or most of it's power.

This sort of reminds me of those who'd rather we ban tv programs of such and such instead of just getting parents to limit what their kids watch. It all comes down to making the child the gov'ts responsibility/our responsibility or the parent's responsibility.
Oh really. So I'll just make a page to trash you. You can ignore but you better believe you'll be hurting when everybody you know sees it. That's my point. Bullying doesn't end just because she puts a pillow over her head in this day and age.
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GameRager: Doesn't really work that way if you ignore the sites now does it? Speech/Bullying online only has power if you give it to it or those writing it. Ignore said speech and it has no further direct effect on you and loses some or most of it's power.

This sort of reminds me of those who'd rather we ban tv programs of such and such instead of just getting parents to limit what their kids watch. It all comes down to making the child the gov'ts responsibility/our responsibility or the parent's responsibility.
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Kabuto: Oh really. So I'll just make a page to trash you. You can ignore but you better believe you'll be hurting when everybody you know sees it. That's my point. Bullying doesn't end just because she puts a pillow over her head in this day and age.
I wouldn't mind. I'd ignore it and not let it bother me.

As I said, words/deeds only have power if you allow them to. Or do you not know the old addage of "sticks and stones...etc"?

Let people say what they want and ignore it, or turn it around and make the situation turn to your advantage.....thus empowering yourself and feeling better overall. Maybe not so simple for all but words to live by nonetheless.
Post edited December 01, 2011 by GameRager
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GameRager: There are alternatives to most online communities, and I for one would rather those kids be cut off from the sites giving them trouble or redirected to new ones than my "rights" curtailed in any way because it's the easiest or most visible recourse for lawmakers/lobbyists/etc.
It's rather presumptive to assume that's the only solution. Don't discount a possible issue just because pre-suppose the solution to said problem has to suck. The cure isn't always worse than the disease. Some are of course, but it's on us to find one that addresses the problem in the best way possible (after identifying the said problem, of course). It's disingenuous to discard a problem out of hand just because you may dislike the implications of one or more potential solutions.
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Kabuto: Oh really. So I'll just make a page to trash you. You can ignore but you better believe you'll be hurting when everybody you know sees it. That's my point. Bullying doesn't end just because she puts a pillow over her head in this day and age.
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GameRager: I wouldn't mind. I'd ignore it and not let it bother me.

As I said, words/deeds only have power if you allow them to. Or do you not know the old addage of "sticks and stones...etc"?

Let people say what they want and ignore it, or turn it around and make the situation turn to your advantage.....thus empowering yourself and feeling better overall. Maybe not so simple for all but words to live by nonetheless.
Guess you haven't changed a bit. Still don't read other people's posts I see. I'll give you an example. I started a program in cegep (right after high school but not quite strict like college) several years ago. The technician had a grudge against a teacher which I later found out several years later that he was just so insecure that the new guy (the teacher) would take his job so he just hated him from the start. Guess what? The technician would tell every new batch of students how terrible of a teacher he was and as a result every new batch of students hated him before the teacher even had a chance. Fast forward a few years later and the curriculum changes. New students now bypass the technician by taking this teacher in the first semester at a different location (usually first class started with this teacher second semester) and really like this exact same teacher. Why? Because the technician had no influence.

Now do you see what I mean? Instead of it being a few kids, these same few kids can now broadcast to the rest of the school and even more people can pick on her making school life even worse. She doesn't have to be online for that to happen. It's like a chain letter. It's out of her control.
Post edited December 01, 2011 by Kabuto