Isn't that a good thing?

I have undeniable person no person here is the definitive WORST person.

Welch, from Star Ocean, is the WORST person. Ever.

My friend Al, who agrees with me, also says I am the next worst person.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-oLBkSxrho&feature=related

Proof ^

The purple-haired one

So, yeah. Technically Welch deserves the games. But, y'know, she isn't posting here. I am.

I tricked my cat into falling into a tub of water. I got her to chase a piece of string onto a piece of plastic sheeting on top of the water. Hehehe.

Ummm evil things where to start

At school when we did science experiments we always used to put the resulting fluid into some kids drink to see the end result went well till we did one with hydrochloric acid(diluted obviously) poor soul was off for several days.

When my mate wasnt looking on the last day of school before the summer holidays I snuck a tuna mayo sandwich in his locker, needless to say 7 weeks later you could pretty much smell it from the other side of the corridor.

On halloween me and another friend of mine used to have a ritual of climbing onto his house roof and throwing eggs at all the trick or treaters that would walk past.

Most evil thing I probably did There was this one girl who would not stop txting me who wanted to "see" me before she went out for some family meal, Ive been wanting to get rid of her affection for a while and she wouldnt take a kind hint so......

Without to much detail lets just say afterwards that there was some in her hair(watch theres something about mary you'll get the idea) I noticed and decided not to tell her or show any indication that there was.

Needless to say when she got home several of her family must have been in the front room at the time her mum noticed it think I ruined her life at that moment

After one rather long expletive text I have never heard from her since

Problem Solved :D

My evilest deed was just a mean prank. I take it I was allowed to do it because I pulled it off along with a friend on "Día de los inocentes" which pretty much is like "April fools day" in the States.

We have this coworker, a joyful and friendly 50 year old woman who likes pooling money from other co-workers and then she goes and fetches a lottery ticket. She sometimes listens to the lottery on the radio at work, but most of the time she just checks the lottery page online, because work doesn't always allow her to listen to the radio. Since the number is from a pool, she usually sticks it on a corkboard for all to see.

Enter yours truly, a graphic designer who knows how to use Photoshop.

I get in cahoots with another coworker (the one who owns the computer the lottery lady likes to check for the number in), we open the lottery website, take a screenshot from it and I edit the date and the number and put in her ticket number. He then opens the modified jpeg on the web browser and minimizes the window. Then we wait, like lions waiting for the little zebra to come take a sip at the pond.

She asks my friend if he's checked the lottery page yet and he says he opened it before the lottery started. She sits on the computer to check. I'm sitting on the next computer pretending to work...

"SHIT! WE HIT THE JACKPOT!"

She runs off like no other 50 year old woman I've ever seen, snatches the ticket off the corkboard, she ruuns back and before she has a chance to reach the computer and check the number again, my friend gets in her way, hugging her and saying "Inocente mariposa!" which is our version of saying "April fools!"

Honestly, after seeing her take off like that, we were afraid of the massive disappointment affecting her health or something, so my friend stopped her before she got a chance to check and get too happy about it.

Lucky for us, she laughed, maybe somewhat upset it was all a lie, but hey, I never would have pulled something like that in another day of the year. I'm proud of how well the prank worked out but we got scared as well when we saw her running off, so it wasn't all giggles on our side.

The second evilest thing I've done was actually an act of mercy and I'm not really proud about it. To sum it up, this girl I know got a little yellow chicken as a present but I don't know what she fed him with so the chicken started to choke and gasp for air. She was crying and distressed and asked me to "dispose" of it, because the poor little thing was suffering. I went outside, took it in my hand, he was giving out slow chirps and was in pain, and not knowing how to kill a chicken painlessly (I didn't grow up in a farm or anything like that) I threw it as high as I could like a baseball, past the top of a wall, into the street with oncoming traffic.

*chirp* *chirp* *CHIIII-iiiii-iiii-rrr.... p*

If the fall didn't kill it, the cars would. Not proud about that at all, but hey, it had to be done.

While there are some funnier stories, no one else exploited foreign beggar children for laughs. Even if I don't win, it should at least be noted that I am the most evil.

When I was in the USAF, I caught a really nasty stomach bug that was causing me to vomit uncontrollably, as well as have constant diarrhea. I got it over a holiday weekend, and when I came back to work, I was still vomiting. My superiors thought I was faking it so they ordered me to go to the doctor, where I promptly vomited some more. The next day I went to work, where my supervisors STILL didn't believe me, one telling me that it was "all in my head".

Ever seen the movie Mallrats? That's what I did, only I did it to EVERYTHING they used. I stinkpalmed their phones (mouthpiece especially), their keys, their door handles, just about anything I KNEW they would touch.

Over the next 3 days they went through all the hell I went through. They still claimed I was faking it of course, but I got my revenge in the most evil way possible.

Sometimes I wonder if leaving it on the cold ground to die on it's own in the middle of the night would have been more or less evil.

Typical, I don't know about AF docs but the Corpsmen couldn't tell the difference between a dead body and a blow-up doll.

You're sick? I guess the docs can get you some Vagisil.

Well, this one time, this guy didn't give me a free copy of Dungeon Keeper and well... we didn't see him 'round these parts no more.

I've got this mean looking avatar to the left of me. He has stared down many forum posters. Why just look! He's glaring evilly at you right now!

I broke my best friend's leg.

And you're proud of that?

I used to squash mosquitoes to walls with all my strenght. MUAHAHAH I'm so evil!