Same here.

As for suicide I highly regard freedom therefor I'm against the whole shame behind that (shame in general tbh) that one shouldn't do it no matter what but I also believe that one should leave it as a last resort.

There's a Swedish book that received some praise regarding this topic and bipolar depression. It has a brilliant title called "Jag vill inte dö, jag vill bara inte leva." Roughly translate that means: "I don't want to die, I only don't want to live".

I've heard that the light and tunnel thing has to do with your retina or brain failing from O2 loss. A dr told me that a few weeks ago.
I'm totally getting drunk tonight.

Ye. Two and a half years ago now? Fairly sudden, but - in hindsight - not necessarily unexpected.

I didn't really properly start dealing with it until about a year later, I think. There was too much else going on before that just took all my attention and that I really couldn't avoid dealing with, no matter what - and when that came around it was less in a 'oh god she is gone' way but more in that, I do really miss her type thing.

As SimonG I am not all that sentimental about death, really, and it wasn't the first time someone I was close pretty suddenly and unexpected died (had one of those every decade, fairly much, so far).

To the OP: Most important thing is, really, to go and look for someone to talk to. Online works, but much better if it's out there in real life. Get it out of your system. Do consider and go for counselling if you need it; if there's one thing that really can help with it is the griefing process; especially with suicide involved.

Regarding these: First of all: Without knowing you / seeing & hearing you say this but because of what happened I just have to ask: Are you feeling suicidal? I know this is an interpretation around several bends, but better asked than not.

Anyway. Does it still affect me. Yes. Not in a major disruptive way, but I am aware it happened. I am writing a novel that somewhat touches on this; it's not about her directly though - none of the characters directly resemble her (or me) - but yes, that there is a suicide in there comes from somewhere.

I didn't know she was coming to that decision but it was such a complicated case - including some utterly major mess up of clinic staff - that it is really clear this was what she wanted at that point and very little would have stopped her. (There were five attempts in a really short time scale; she was sectioned and then, the same day, released into somebody's care which A] just shouldn't have happened and B] was the worst person to deal with this possible; the sixth attempt was successful.) I don't think anyone could have prevented her from trying and trying again at that point. No matter what I - or anyone else - had said. It was still her choice to do this; and her choice not to seek out help earlier.

I didn't speak to her, not about that. I left on holidays, then came back, and left for a music festival straight away. Her flatmate called me on the way there and told me what had happened; couldn't leave until the festival was over, as it was in the middle of nowhere. The last conversation I had was before my holiday asking her if she'd look after my plants in case my flatmate would have to leave town, too. She said she would. I didn't notice anything telling in her behaviour at that point. Regarding that one and having been on both sides - I have had my own mental ill-health past (from depression to self-harm, to suicide attempts): Take it serious, always. Don't react emotionally - it's a lot for somebody to come out with saying that's that how they feel. It takes a lot of trust and requires overcoming a lot anxiety for somebody to state that openly - one of the biggest fears, usually, is that it's not taken seriously; that somebody dismisses them or reacts in a judgemental/aggressive/unfair way. Usually people choose and think about who they open up to, like that, very carefully.

So just simply do accept that that's how they feel, don't make a big deal out of it, but stress that they need to seek help. Accompany them. Be around and stick around. But always keep in mind that they are making the decisions in the end. That's the case with anything relating to mental ill-health. You can't make somebody better, but you can help create the right setting for them to get better. Much as no-one can heal somebody else's physical health; even doctor's only assist the healing process.

What do you mean "those guys"? There can only be one! ;)

Total sig material right here. Brevity truly is the soul of wit.

I always go with Ambrose Bierce:

Atheist: A man with no invisible means of support.

So THAT'S what Highlander was about. Solipsism! You opened my eyes... which does not mean anything since I am only a product of your mind.

I know one person who tried, but I wasn't there. Didn't find out until about a year later. Didn't really affect the relationship.

I know one person who did, but she was just an acquaintance I happened to meet a few times.

I do tend to think it's a highly personal thing (despite the fact that other people may be affected), and that it certainly shouldn't be "illegal."

I suppose I'd call myself agnostic; I've always thought these "near death" experiences are just people experiencing what they want to experience or something they're familiar with - even those who don't believe in some afterlife, it's something the average person knows about and has likely discussed at some point, so the "information" is there. When a "non-believer" experiences it, I don't see it as any more earth-shattering than when a "believer" experiences it; it's just something in the consciousness or subconscious that happens to present itself.

I'd love to believe in ghosts, but so far I haven't seen anything. :-)

Just chill out people. Some people believe that there are things after death, some people believe that there are not, and some people decide not to believe in anything unless they actually see it.

An acquaintance did suicide. I did not know the details, but from what I understood it was some kind of depression. I always find it a bit tragic when something probably preventable happens.
The person seemed completely normal. I decided that if it all possible, I would need to be alert for negative signs in other people.

I really don't know what you would call me, an agnostic at best, a confused train wreck at worst. Honestly, I think humans are far too stupid and small to really fathom the true depths of the universe. God(s) or no, there is really no 100% way of knowing either way and to say with any level of certainty beyond "in my opinion" seems presumptuous and as narcissistic as those who claim a bearded man in the sky tells them what to do.

That all being said, do humans know very much? No, not really in the grand scheme of the Universe. Should they not seek to learn everything, and what is truth from what is not? Of course, for educating oneself is very important. What I think, is that there are no absolutes, and anything is POSSIBLE, though not guaranteed. But, like everyone else on this planet, it is simply my opinion, how accurate I am, in reality, is a mystery.

Any loss of life is sad, regardless of the circumstances. Life is a precious thing we should never take for granted, nor give up without giving it our all (euthanasia being an exception). I feel great sorrow for any life lost, as self depriving as it may be, I see no shame in morning a loss of life regardless of one's views in terms of the possibility of an afterlife. Though I may be a tad contradictory in saying that, as I tend to bury my emotions about such matters.

But, that's just my 2 cents, different strokes for different folks I suppose.

I'm nor really sure if the OP meant this thread as a discussion about afterlife, so I won't take part in this one.

Regarding the original question:

Yes, a former classmate committed suicide when I was ... 17, I think. We hadn't really been close, but our whole class had been a pretty tight group, and kept contact even after we had gone one to various further schools.

At that time, the event shook me up massively. She had always been so lively, so tomboyish, that I would never have expected her to do such a thing. The cause was something that can certainly be emotionally devastating for a 17-year old girl, but it's also something that just happens in most people's lives, and I thought that she of all people would have been able to cope with it. But apparently she had, behind her usual self, also a very vulnerable side that we had never seen in all the years that before.

I barely spoke for a week, because I couldn't stop thinking about it. In hindsight, I would say that this event (and one other that was rather cruel and even more disturbing) marked the point in time when I truly realized that people may successfully hide whole parts of their personality. I often take this in account now when I talk to people, offering assistance even when someone _seems_ to be able to cope with a problem by themselves, and making sure that my friends and acquaintances can always contact me if they need someone to talk, no matter when and where.

Later, due to my work, I have also spoken to many people who had attempted suicide, or to family members of suicide victims. This is not the same though, because as much as I can feel their pain, there's always a bit of (necessary) professional distance.

A girl in my high school took her life too. It saddened me to hear the news, that's for sure. But it wasn't until years down the line when I truly thought about what happened. She was really quiet so I figured she's shy, or maybe was really into school or something. I never talked to her, even though there were times I wanted to, but I was going through some stuff too so never made the effort.

She made me aware that I'm not the only one who was fighting a battle in life, and in fact my fights are much smaller and easier than many others', and how many of those people probably wear masks so that they can function in society. How many people could I have helped if I just talked to them? Maybe I could have helped her too.

It's funny to think that this girl who I had hardly known probably influenced me more than anyone else in my life just through that one action... but it goes to show that your actions will affect way more people than you'd think.

And also, remember that no matter what you've personally felt or dealt with, you can never truly understand what the other person is going through in moments like that, unless you've experienced every facet of their life for yourself. You can probably estimate how they're feeling, but you can't truly understand it.

Way back in the day, would have been around 1987 or so I think. I had a friend who was a Satan worshiper, although it was more a christian hater thing fro him I think but in any event he was all about doing the wrong thing whenever possible. He did drugs, drank as a young teen, smoked, hung out all night, and committed many small criminal acts throughout his short lifetime. Broken home, troubled parents, his sister was a drug prostitute by 16, not at all a life anyone would want to live I should think. Still, aside from his smoldering desire to be evil he seemed pretty happy most of the time.

We were friends mostly because we both were outsiders in town, I was the only nerd and he was the only real 'bad boy', so we ended up talking and got along pretty well. I showed him video games and how to phreak a phone and he got me my first drink and toke. We even tried one night to get laid, he stole his parents car and a cooler of beer, got high, and we were on our way to a home for juvenile delinquent girls when we ended up hitting as cop car and fleeing. Odd night that one.

After that, however, his parents decided I was a bad influence and so we could not hang out anymore. About a year later he robbed a local mini-mart at gunpoint and made off with pocket change, smokes, and some candy. He fled into the night and ended up at a local school hiding from the cops. It was a foggy night, and where we grew up the fog got think enough to obscure your hand at arms length as well as being thick and wet. The school was made up of covered corridors connected to covered walkways with open grass areas in between buildings. It was dark, enclosed, and echoey. I have no idea what happened but I do know he was high as a kite according to the reports, running from the cops as an adult for the first time, and had just committed a felony. As the cops were searching for him, flashlights and radios prowling in the dark foggy night, shouting dire warnings and coning from everywhere, my friend turned the gun on himself and ended his life.

I don't know that living was the right choice for him, he was looking at a pretty dismal future with not a lot of possibility to be seen. For me, I always think tomorrow will be better or I will make it better, and yesterday is done and not worth worrying about but he seemed to be a glass half empty kind of kid. In any event, yes I know one, and if I am the only one that remembers him at least he has that. :)

In all honesty, please don't try it again.

When I was a kid, my best's friend's cousin (who was 15 years older) came over at his place and played games with us all weekend.

We had a great time and I was a bit in awe of him, enough that I recalled the event more than a decade later.

About 10 years later, the friend in question told me that his cousin had killed himself.

It made me a bit sad.

It made me wonder whether he was already unhappy when I met him or if circumstances changed in his life to make him unhappy later on.

I also wondered the nature of the circumstances had driven him to kill himself.

Made me wish someone had gotten to him in time.

I thought it must have been a very lonely death.

Even though I probably wouldn't have seen the guy again anyways, it felt as if that weekend we spent with him was all the more cemented in the past and definitive, without any continuation.

It makes me a bit nostalgic when I think about it.

Furthermore, I was remained of the fragility of the human condition and our tendency to keep up appearances.

From my memories as a kid, I'd have thought he'd be rock solid, but clearly, he wasn't.