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2 WiiKS
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It had been raining that day. April showers bring May flowers and all that shit but fuck all if it wasn't cold. He was going to get sick he just knew it. He must be crazy to be out in this weather.

As he stood he couldn't help but think of all who had gone before him. Were they happy? Would they all be happy or would some be heartbroken?

"Hey Mister. What are you doing?"

"How many times have I told you not to talk to strangers Timmy? Now come along."

He had seen the look in her eye that told him that she thought he was crazy too. The man thought for a while about how they probably had more sense than he did. They got to go home to their cozy little home and eat their warm apple pie. Mmm... pie...

Sounds of Ares beating on his drum reached the man. He looked in the sky to the east and saw the storm rolling in. It would be a doozy and there was no doubt that Zeus would be up to his tricks.

This truly was trying his patience. He was not Poseidon and did not enjoy water all that much. He had hoped to be inside before the storm hit. Oh but this would be worth it. It had to be. It just had to.

He had made it. The man was soaking wet and he squelched when he walked. He had been there through it all. He had seen the battles with the gods and journeyed through space. Now he could be likened to a druggie who needed his fix.

"I'll take one please."

"Sorry." the cashier told him "We just sold the last 2 WiiKS."

The Kevin Sorbo fan walked dejectedly out of the store. His only thoughts:

'All this for a limited edition Wii? Should have just bought the damned thing online.'
Post edited March 20, 2012 by CowboyBebop
Korean Gender Studies.

This is "version 1.5" of a draft for an essay-style piece of short fiction (or I should say, "creative non-fiction", or "fictionalized memoir") that was based off of a real incident I had with a cab driver in South Korea, with a healthy amount of creative embellishment, of course. The most immediate style of fiction I can compare it to is that of Augusten Burrows ("Magical Thinking", "Running With Scissors") or Will Davidson ("Hitching Rides with Buddha"). It's 5 pages, A4 sized, at least, that's what I think Google Docs formatted it as...

I'm considering submitting it to a couple of the foreigner rags in the area where I lived, so comments and feedback are of course welcome.
Post edited March 21, 2012 by rampancy
Uh oh, not one of these.

I'll probably end up writing two pages in really small font.

All in good fun though.
Very well, time's up! I would very much like everyone who have entered (as well as anyone else willing) to read all the posts and pick the best one (excluding your own.) I would also like you to give us a reason why have you picked that particular story, or why did you pick over another one. I will read / pick one when I actually get time.

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Tantrix: ...
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GoJays2025: ...
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Detlik: ...
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Kaliosmasteris: ...
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gameon: ...
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rampancy: ....
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CowboyBebop: ....
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Tallima: ...
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stoicsentry: ...
My pick: Mr. O’Malley’s Attic by Tallima. A short and sweet piece about love, loss and regret and how living a lifetime through someone's eyes can change how you think about them.

The mechanic of the stone pillars and how they're used is expertly done, and Tallima uses a wonderful economy of words to draw you into someone else's life story. The narrator's tone of voice is consistent and very well used throughout, as well. I've always admired writers who can do more with less, and Tallima does is able to do this very well indeed.

I would like have liked of course to have had the build up and the denoument fleshed out a little more; we get a glimpse of someone who is able to learn from someone else's life and develop just a little bit more as a person, but what is most visible on the surface is a picture of a troublemaker who stumbles on something extraordinary, who isn't as relatable as he could be.

I'd also like maybe Mr. O'Malley to be developed a little bit more, if only to make the juxtaposition between him in the past and him in the present a little more vibrant.
Post edited March 27, 2012 by rampancy
Cheating in school?

Lol, I'm not to fond of writing or I'd enter. It's to time consuming when you can't choose your own topic.
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xXShaddowTXx: Cheating in school?

Lol, I'm not to fond of writing or I'd enter. It's to time consuming when you can't choose your own topic.
Story writing's over. It's the judging phase now - look two posts above you.

I'll put in my 2 cents when I'm free later this week/weekend.
Post edited March 27, 2012 by GoJays2025
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xXShaddowTXx: Cheating in school?

Lol, I'm not to fond of writing or I'd enter. It's to time consuming when you can't choose your own topic.
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GoJays2025: Story writing's over. It's the judging phase now - look two posts above you.

I'll put in my 2 cents when I'm free later this week/weekend.
Yeah saw after I posted, didn't feel like editing because there was little point.
I'm throwing my vote in for CowboyBebop's 2WiiKs. It's witty, funny and has a goofy twist. I enjoyed how it toyed with the topic title, too. And I think the first time I read it, it even brought out a small chuckle.


My favorite out of the bunch is Rampancy's, but I don't see any following of the topic. So, with regret and sadness, I can't in good conscience vote for it. But I say job well done to Rampancy. There's a few small edits that need to happen (a "the the" once and a wrong word [ I think it was "think" instead of "thank" or vice versa or something like it])

It's a nice tale that clearly conveys the frustrations apparent in culture and language barriers between Koreans and Canadians (and applicable to any other language/culture barrier on the planet). But it also rewards the reader with a great appreciation for what brings all men around the world together. I won't give away what it was, but it's so true. :D

Well done, Rampancy.
I vote for Tantrix because he ate same mushrooms as I did.

Also I love silliness :D
I think i'll go with Detlik's one, reminds me a bit of Lovecraft.

Although some of the more random ones are pretty entertaining too.
Post edited March 28, 2012 by WBGhiro
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Tallima: My favorite out of the bunch is Rampancy's, but I don't see any following of the topic. So, with regret and sadness, I can't in good conscience vote for it. But I say job well done to Rampancy. There's a few small edits that need to happen (a "the the" once and a wrong word [ I think it was "think" instead of "thank" or vice versa or something like it])

It's a nice tale that clearly conveys the frustrations apparent in culture and language barriers between Koreans and Canadians (and applicable to any other language/culture barrier on the planet). But it also rewards the reader with a great appreciation for what brings all men around the world together. I won't give away what it was, but it's so true. :D

Well done, Rampancy.
That's for the feedback - yes, I was rather embarrassed when I realized that I'd actually uploaded a previous version that I was working on with my other computer.

I was aiming for a (small) sense of character development in the narrator - he just gets a little bit closer to understanding better a topic that's eluded him for so long. I'll keep chipping away at it; I think it just needs a little bit more work before I can submit it to other places.
I vote for Tallima's Mr. O'malley's Attic. We can't really understand others until we have walked in their shoes and we can't know how sentimental even the most common item can be. The boy didn't understand Mr. O'malley or why something so simple as a mail box could have been irreplaceable until he had actually lived the man's life.
Post edited March 28, 2012 by CowboyBebop
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gameon: also, is there a losers prize? (lol, i entered the competition late, and didn't realise i needed to write a longer short story, mine was more of a poem. When it said topic:2 weeks,i thought it meant it actually literally had to be about 2 weeks)
You're in too, I'm just an idiot and forgot to quote you. And no, no loser's prize sadly, I don't have money :D Anyway, tomorrow I'll announce my vote and a winner, so stay tuned. So far, runners-up are Tallima and Detlik.
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xXShaddowTXx: Cheating in school?
No, as a matter of fact I love creative writing.
Post edited March 31, 2012 by Fenixp
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gameon: I vote for detlik. I like how the story was structured, and the general tone of the story.

also, is there a losers prize? (lol, i entered the competition late, and didn't realise i needed to write a longer short story, mine was more of a poem. When it said topic:2 weeks,i thought it meant it actually literally had to be about 2 weeks)
Mr. "loser" got a losers prize from me, but if you want you can name him winner anyway. ;-)