Posted November 17, 2014
If I was really witty I'd come up with a burger of the day, but alas, I am not. Plus sleepy. Stupid daylight savings.
And a great bday gift would be to enter my GA and leave an offering of a tall tale ;)
and thanks for the bday wishes.
As you are the appointed bard of our imaginary kingdom, I look forward to hearing your short tale, even though it may (most likely) will contain our nemesis the dwarves. Be warned, if there is too much elf bashing, your head will roll!!!! ;)
Now come here and let me anoint you bard *picks up waaay to heavy of a long sword and staggers towards ragnar*
How the Dwarf Got His Beard or
Zut Khazad Demz Targ
Many ages ago, when the world was young, a race of industrious beings carved out a homeland in the deep places where none but shadow and fire did dwell. Hewing and picking the rock and stone, these creatures had not yet begun to master true masonry but formed rudimentary homes from cavernous naturally-occurring cavities, always striving to delve farther above and below.
These beings spoke a primitive language that was neither lyrical nor imprecise, although it is believed they had over a hundred different words for stone, and over fifty words for different shades of grey.They called themselves odzibubkâr which translates to “Stone-people”. They were nearly blind and almost hairless, their bodies adapted to life underground. They had short but powerful arms and legs with squat torsos, evolved for the tight subterranean spaces. Their main diet consisted of mushrooms; they even fermented and drank them. They had a rudimentary form of religion, worshipping veins of any shiny metals, although they did not dare mine the precious ore.
During this time they rarely had any enemies and so their people grew and with growth came the need for constant expansion. They dug as if their lives depended upon it, because they did. One hardy group of these miners dug farther and faster than any others, and soon outstripped all of their brethren. It came to pass that they took a turn and began to ascend until, terrified and all but running backwards into the safety of the darkness, they unearthed a shaft of sunlight. With great trepidation they crept forth until they stood on a snow-swept mountain peak, a vast and unexplored world of pure white driven snow lay before and below them, and the twin terrors of open sky and icy wind nearly claimed them all. All but one, who had already begun to show signs that she was not entirely like the rest of her people. Surviving to tell the tale, that is precisely what she did, believing this to be a great...well they did not yet have a word for discovery, so she made one up.
Few agreed that this was in fact a good boon and she and her small band of supporters became outcast, but they returned to the shaft near the peak and began to build a life for themselves. The original survivor and one of the males of her people eventually mated and had offspring. Their firstborn male child they took out to the peak to allow him to feel the sun on his face and to see the vast snow fields. He uttered a cry, but it sounded oddly pleased, so they took this as a good omen that they had made the right decision. He grew up stout and strong, and then something troubling happened...upon his chin sprouted what we know to be hairs. His parents and the others were deeply worried at first, and took it as a sign they had made a poor choice. Over time, though, as the hairs grew more and other parts of his body sprouted the same, they all came to realize that it meant he could survive for longer periods outside the safety of the stone and so their people would continue to expand and grow.
The end.
Post edited November 17, 2014 by Ragnarblackmane
