I am not looking for discussions on wether it's right or wrong, i think it's wrong to commit yourself in a marriage and claim that person for the rest of their live.
It's a situation which bothered me for a long time now, and i have talked to several about it here.

Just want to know if it happened to more people here who were in a similar situation, and how the relationship ended/continued, did you end up together, did you end things, did you remain friends, and ifso was it easy/hard?

I don't feel like discussing my whole situation here, but if someone else want to discuss and be open about their situation or have certain issues with their triangle, feel free to discuss it.

The only love triangle I encountered ended up on the cover of Alien love triangle tabloid magazine.

Well, for starters a love triangle has three very different parts: the outsider, the person in two relationships and the (usually for a while) ignorant partner. Are we talking about a specific one?

anyone who wants to discuss their story, as for me i am the outsider, in love with a person who can't say no, with someone who doesn't choose herself but always cares about what others think.

Back in like 2005 when I was 22 year old intern at a local IT consulting firm I started seeing a 27-year-old married chick, who swore she had 'never done anything like this before.' For me, at the time, helping some miserable married girl have an affair was exciting, risky, and fun.

When we stopped seeing each other like that, over the course of the next 6-months she ran through 11 or so other guys. During lunch breaks I'd have to hear about how great Sean was in bed or about how she doesn't like Dave's ghetto-ness or about how Josh's dick is like a spaghetti noodle or how Adams pubes stink. No joke... we remained pals, but from that point forward I always tried leaning back a bit when she spoke because the joke around the office was that one could smell the stale semen on her breath.

Lol!

^_^

Long story short: was in a relationship, I ended it (stupidly at that point), she got another, so did I. My relationship ended, we became good friends again. We still had feelings. She said she would end it with the other dude but this wasn't a good time... I started (against my principles) dating her again while she was involved (since she said she would end it soon). It just kept going on and on (everbody knew except for the guy, he didn't believe it, even an uncle of him knew and started a family argument about it, still he didn't believe it), I got quite depressed about it, ended it again. We are not on speaking terms any more and she married the dude and has children. NOT a fun experience, I got better out of it but it wasn't fun and I will never do it again. I am happily married know and if something should happen (i.e. i fall in love with somebody else) I will discuss it with my wife before doing something. People just get hurt too much over these sort of things...

Ouch Lugum,

Much as it hurts to say it, you should MOA. Someone that can't say no = someone that won't say no to you as well, so is he really consenting to anything you may think he is? Someone who always cares about what others think, sounds like someone that has their priorities well defined, just not aligned with yours apparently... MOA and look for a better match.

See? Nothing about right or wrong of poliamourous relations. I've kind of been in a similar situation, but YMMV. In my case I can say sincerely it almost killed me to try and make something work, when it wouldn't. Things ended quite badly, for both of us. After pushing things so far, friendship was pretty much impossible, too much ressentment and memories of good and bad all mixed up.

And Lugum, you don't need the ignorant other for this script. Whenever someone in a relationship wants to breakup, there is an "otherness" being chosen over you, even if that has no name nor body. Some would say that's even worse of course. ;)

Thanks, Thing is i am in a financial situation that i can't really meet other women, thus set my mind off things, but i can also understand its a part for her not choosing me.
And i do feel strongly she hasn't done anything for a very long period to have ever choosen me, like just simply meeting up, at a certain point she even said so she was afraid because of what might happen.
Certain things happened with her and now she denies any feelings she had for me, that she said certain things almost like she will have her perfect family now and wants to completely rule me out.
Even with or without any feelings still for me i think her marriage is a disaster waiting to happen because of several things.

But yeah we have come across that path of fighting, ressentments many times, and i am even at that path now and things are killing me too. We have tried breaking up even several times but we both couldn't, but it might be enough for eitherone sometime.

I am not sure what you mean with your last 2 sentences about breaking up and otherness? It hurts alot, it's just much easier i think if someone flatout says to you i dont love you anymore, i dont want you anymore rather then keep someone hanging on a wire, and get something from 2 people. And it might not be easy for the married one either but still.

Glad for you it worked out and you found someone.

She lives in a house that's from her grandmother, next to her parents which she visits every night. in a divorce its a high chance she will have to give that up. Even if i had a house here, she would defend keep on living there with anything, and perhaps it's also her nature of not saying no, not wanting to dissapoint people, she might feel she disappints her grandmother or parents also by divorcing.

I never waited on the married girl, i always kept my eyes open for other girls but i am in a situation i just dont meet many at the moment. Regardless i do want to stay friends with her but i just dont know sometimes if that will ever be possible.

I know that if there's even a hint of one teenaged girls will buy your book.

that is how bermuda triangle was formed that sucks all in

Depends on who's got a printer in that triangle.

I might not help but...

I once knew a guy who cheated on his partner of 3 - 4 years because he felt things were not working for them any longer.
He met an 18-year-old blond with a knock out body, very different in almost every way from the glasses wearing, brunet, university educated, incredible, then 30 years old. He fooled about for about 9-12 months until one days the 18-year-old told him to leave his partner. He said no, she told him she was pregnant and would not get rid of the baby.

The cheating in this case made him realise that he really did love his partner, and although things were stale in their sex life there was a lot more about her that he really wanted and that beyond the sex there was nothing with the 18-year-old.
Luckily for him the 18-year-old was not really pregnant, she was just trying to win him or try and pull him into being hers. I do not know, I only ever saw and heard about her when he was mulling over what to do.

When I was told that his partner though he was cheating I was not happy, I thought he needed to talk with her about trusting him and not believe everything on the TV and in the girly magazines. Then he went on to tell me what he had in fact done, my advice beyond the chastising for cheating was that he should go with the woman he loved, whom ever that was.
I can still not get my head around what would cause someone to actually take the action of cheating if they still feel for the other partner, but people do.
Although I told him that he should tell his partner he had been cheating on her, I explained that I would leave that to him to do and not interfere. Apparently he had not wanted to tell me about the cheating because he thought that I would tell her due to my attitude to cheaters.

He never has (to my knowledge) told his now wife about the affair and she never makes any comment. They have children and he often says to me that the cheating made him more aware about what he would have been giving up. That without having gone out and screwed around he would have taken his wife for granted and then have lost out.

I do not condone the actions he took, and it devastated my friendship with them both because I have always thought that she deserved more then that, but she is still happy in the relationship, so it is nothing for me to break-up.
In the end if someone is actually cheating in a relationship and for any reason, what-so-ever they are unwilling to leave said relationship then they are not willing to take the action. I would not bother waiting on them as they never be willing. When you have someone you love without doubt then you should not need to cheat, and if you do they would be willing to leave a broken relationship for you without the need to be tricked / bribed or pinned.


For me cheating is a huge moral wrong as it involves not only hurting more then one person, but lies and the possibility of destroying others peoples worlds.
I have been lucky that all of my relationships have ended with us not wanting to be together before seeing others - to the best of my knowledge.