Concurred.

Oddly the very point you say you liked about BG, was my biggest problem with it.
I am a D&D nerd. I run and play (when I can), I have a mountain of 3.5 books (hard copy) and still have my 3E books (Started post 2E).
BG1 had a few of my classic peeves for "D&D" video games.
First, there the "main character".. Seriously, D&D isn't supposed to have a main character. Any DM who has to focus on one character to tell the story is a lousy DM who needs to turn in his dice.
ToEE and IWD expressed the story without having "OMG UR SPESHULE!" thrown in your characters face. This meant -anyone- in your group could bloody well die. Just like a real D&D game.
In BG (one at least, never played 2 'cause I couldn't get in to 1), your character is some special person who is wrapped up in the plot and yadda yadda. Which ... I disliked. I also hated the fact that if the character you made died, which seemed to happen WAY too often early on, it was game ova. Which the only game over in D&D, is a TPK.
(For the record, I also didn't like NWN too much.)
For me, ToEE is my favorite D&D based video game (that I've played). In part because it's 3E, and it actually gives you a good tactical feel for the game. So to me it actually felt like running a D&D party, which I could customize for a good synergy. (I know IWD did so too, but I never understood 2E rules when I tried to play it. I may try again now that I'm a more experienced gamer and try to make sense out of the wonky 2e rules.)

If I remember correctly, IWD 2 uses 3E rules (yes, that's 3, like NWN1, not 3.5), and since IWD2 isn't really a follow-up to IWD1, just another story set in roughly the same place at a later time, there's no need to have played the first game (unlike BG, where you can import you characters from the first game, and the story continues with the same character/s).

I may have to check that sometime..
Not that I don't have 50,000 other games to play hee.

See, I cut my teeth on AD&D (i.e. 2nd Edition.) That's the game I first started playing when I first got into tabletop RPGs, so I went into Baldur's Gate with a full knowledge of just what in the name of Mielikki's Flaming Unicorns a THAC0 actually -was.- All of the stuff that 3E players look at and go "HUH?!" didn't faze me in the least. It was second nature.
Now, yes, is the plotline of the Baldur's Gate series cliched? Sure it is, in a lot of respects. The whole idea of "You're a nameless, faceless somebody raised out in the boonies and all of a sudden you find out you have this big, grand destiny and it takes away everything you ever had and ever loved and forces you on a grand quest to save the world and blah blah blah..." is just about one of the most overused storylines in history. But that doesn't mean it can't be done well. (I happen to like Star Wars: A New Hope, for example, and that's the plotline of it in a nutshell.) Anyway, just visit TVTropes.org and read the entry on the Baldur's Gate games. You'll find that the page is packed to the gills with all kinds of entries showing just how almost every aspect of the games are stereotypical in some way or another.
And yet, owing to the notion that all original ideas have already been taken, that doesn't mean that just because an idea has been done before doesn't mean it can't be done again and done well, I happen to think the series takes the idea of the main character being the son/daughter of a dead god and does quite a bit with it. Makes it into something way more than its rather cliche nature would suggest.
As for the idea that there should be no main character in a game that's about party-based mechanics, I agree with you, but bear in mind that obviously that's for a tabletop game when you're looking at multiple human players and a human DM. In this case, you have one player-character and the rest are NPC followers who are there to provide color, who are there to make the rest of the world seem real. I happen to think that for this purpose, they are excellent. The Baldur's Gate cast is remarkably deep and well written. With a few exceptions, of course... (Cough) Cernd. (Cough)
As for playing the first and not playing the second... in all honesty? I think that's a mistake. BG1 is good, but BG2 is by far and away superior. I suppose that if you absolutely hated everything about the first game, you won't like the second, but the second is pretty much where most people agree that the franchise really got its shit together. It's where the storyline -really- started to come together, the characters became -far- more vocal, interacting with each other and with your character. The romantic subplots were introduced, things like stronghold quests were introduced. All that good stuff. The interface was cleaned up so that the game ran more smoothly, looked better, and the end result was that 2 was a vast improvement over the first game. VAST.
Anyway, I'll admit to being biased when it comes to the BG cast. Like I said, they made the game for me. Shortly after I first got hooked on the game, I fell in with a BG fanfic community, and... I'm still there, so yeah, I've seen what people have done with the characters outside of the game, and I'll admit this colors my perceptions of them some. But I think this also shows just how -alive- these characters actually are, and how much they contribute to the game and the overall experience. Even now, like a decade after the first game was released, you've still got people writing about these characters, and having fun with them. That says something about the kind of characters that were created for this game. They've got some serious staying power.
Now, of course, it could just be that you and I have completely different tastes, which is why the series holds so much weight for me and not the other way around. For the record, I hated Temple of Elemental Evil. I thought the game was frustratingly slow paced... it got constantly bogged down in the mechanics, and there was absolutely no roleplaying of any worth that I could remember. The characters had no personality, no depth, no flavor. There was no charm to them, nothing to win me over. It felt like playing ProgressQuest or something, and I had no vested interest in their success, aside from an arbitrary need to just finish the game for the sake of finishing the game. Hardly a positive, in my book.
I play RPGs for the characters... for the stories, and for the people that make those stories move, neither of which is really present in ToEE, which made the entire experience fall rather flat for me.

For me I now .. understand what THAC0 is, I don't know how to figure it out. I understand some of the mechanics of 2E now.. But 2E D&D isn't what caused my issues with BG1.
(I mean I loved IWD1, other than god that game was hard as hell, at least at the time I found it such.)
The BIGGEST problem I had in BG was .. the story failed to grip me enough to make it worth my playing, especially not for as many times as my character died within the first.. hour of gameplay.
And most of the NPCs held no interest to me. The plot opened up feeling dull and "OMG UR THE CHOSEN ONE!!!11", which .. honestly never leaves me with any real desire to play an RPG.
I can only name one RPG off the top that the "UR THE CHOSEN ONE!!!11" schtick worked for me: Arcanum. And that one the gameplay value kept me going until the plot hooked my interest.
For me. Within .. maybe half an hour of gameplay, a video game has to either hook my interest with gameplay value or plot.
BG never really got my interest with the plot. And the gameplay value ... was probably great, for someone who fully understood 2E mechanics, and could actually keep their character from dying in the first couple of fights.
Honestly the reason ToEE worked for me is.. because I am a 3/3.5 nerd. The plot was.. well, typical action RPG plot, or your typical plot for a basic hack and slash adventure. The mechanics are what kept me playing it. Being able to build a synergy like a high-dex, spiked chain weilding fighter, paired with a wizard who casts 'enlarge person' for the fighter, and invisibilty for the dexer TWF rogue. They're supported by a tanker cleric who is good at getting in to the thick of melee combat and can take hits like a pro, but also makes sure to keep a ready supply of healing spells available. The 5th slot usually went to a bard.
... And when I got ToEE Frontend, so I could make an 8 man perty, oh the game got even better.
But see, I like tactical RPGs. I LOVE being able to have full tactical control over my party, and I really prefer having at least some measure of control over the capabilities of my party.
I admit BG1 MAY have offered tactical control, but it's been YEARS.
If GOG were to ever get the BG series and/or the IWD series, I would probably pick them up. I wouldn't mind trying BG1 again, now that I've matured a lot as a gamer. ... But I still don't think I'd be that keen on it.
(To give an idea, I played BG1 shortly after my introduction to RPGs via Diablo.)

When describing chances, often soaked in annoyance because they aren't in my favor, my randomness/creativity skyrockets. It doesn't necessarily have to make sense, but as you might see with that sentence, it's a very low chance for it.

I can imagine that clearly... I think that means I need sleep.

just little OT
tutu is fine, but BGT with addons like tortured souls, shadows over soubar, neverending journey and few more is better ;)

The opening to BG1 was hard. We vets have horror stories about getting killed by the wolves outside Candlekeep, or making it to the Friendly Arm Inn just to be wiped out by the first assassin you meet there and his like... one fear spell followed by single magic missile hit. Hell, some of us have even had our careers cut short before they even began, getting taken out by those wussy idiot wannabe assassins in Candlekeep itself. It happens. You start out as a Level 1 puke, and yeah, you -will- die. It's not fun, everyone agrees. But we kept playing, maybe even turned down the difficulty level for that particular sequence and kept going, and were rewarded later on by a gripping storyline, and characters that became like old friends to us. And personally, I think it's a shame that you let that ruin the entire experience for you because there's so much value in the game series. A single snap judgment made in a moment of frustration, and bam... missed out on a pretty awesome franchise.
But like I was saying, it just seems that there might be some kind of fundamental disconnect, here. As in, you're just looking for a different sort of game. Because sure, BG had its "tactical" options, but I never considered it to be much of a strategy game or "simulation" game. I did consider ToEE to be that kind of a game... which is what I disliked about it.... because the focus was so much on that kind of thing to the detriment of all the stuff that I like about RPGs... i.e. the actual roleplaying, the character interaction, etc.
If I wanted tactical combat with only mild RPG elements, I'd play a Heroes game. The BG series does have a fairly deep combat system, but it's not to the same depth as ToEE with its strict adherence to movement rules and attacks of opportunity when moving, etc. The focus is on the characters and the story. Also, yes, the original could be frustratingly difficult. The second, I think was a lot more forgiving, but that was largely because when you started, you were no longer a Level 1 puke, vulnerable to death at a single casting of the magic missile spell.
But I'm going to stop trying to shove the game down your throat. :) I was hoping to win a convert because the series numbers among my favorite games of all time. It's got a special place in my heart, but clearly, it ain't for everyone.

My first RPGs of note were the Ultima games, which is why I prefer your standard PC+recruits formula.
I don't mind creating a party of characters, but it does make it harder to connect with them.
One of the best parts of BG2 for me was having a mostly good party, with Viconia snarling at people the whole time, and having to make sure your reputation didn't get too high, or she would leave. If you craft your party, theres no tension.
I guess because I don't have a P&P background, I feel differently, but surely the point of P&P is that each person brings their personality to their character, and thats where the party bonding occurs.

wait what? There was a dificulty slider? >.>
Like I've said, if it can be reobtained for a reasonable price, I may sometime try it again..
But consider a moment the set up behind how the game was ruined for me:
I was about 15 or so, maybe a bit younger even (not sure), only recently gotten in to "RPGs" from playing games like Diablo, before that I pretty much played FPSs, fighting games and platformers.
I was used to getting my ass kicked, sure. But never so early in a game, and certainly not in such one sided fights. I mean, I was right were I was supposed to be, and being murdered, because I had a measly 5 HP.
Hell if I had any clue how to handle D&D 2E mechanics. I'm 25 now and an experienced gamer, and 2E still makes me go "bwuh?" (prolly 'cause I've never sat down and tried to learn the rules)
Ask yourself, if you had played it under those circumstances, do you think you would have kept playing it?
Hell, to this day, I still don't keep playing a game that after half an hour to an hour of gameplay has neither hooked me on a storyline, or gripped me with good entertaining gameplay.

I don't really blame you, I was in the same situation when I first played it (I was 16 or 17, having played FPS, RTS, and Diablo, basically - and no knowledge of D&D at all, and thus no knowledge that less armor class was better), but I can't remember ever having my butt handed to me before the assassin at friendly arms (although I've played through the first half of the game countless times, and the second half, half that many, so my memory may have become fuzzy somewhere along the line - that one has annoyed me much though, and still does whenever I go through that part again). The rest of the game (after him) is pretty much a breeze nowadays, not so the first playthrough.

I do agree that the assassin there was a bit over the top, so I usually just ran past him, and got the two companions (I'm hopeless with name both IRL and with games, BTW), then went out side to whoop his ass.
Then I would get Minsc, do his quest, and by that time the party would be full, then I would go to a certain area where you will find a bunch of Basilisks and a special ghoul. The ghoul is immune to the flesh to stone crap the basilisks use, so I just keep one of my characters near him (if not I won't have him in my field of vision) and let him kill all the basilisks in the area. When I'm finished all of my characters are usually around level 4 or so, which isn't too bad considering the level cap in the game.