http://www.blackbookmag.com/article/armond-white-cannot-write-sentences/19831
This man is just making shit up as he goes along! How is his editor missing the bullshit he's spewing? "Toy Story 3 suckers fans to think they can accept this drivel without paying for it politically, aesthetically or spiritually." How is this man allowed near a fucking typewriter? You just can't throw giant words into a sentence and pretend like you're intelligent! The Three Stooges would do something like that! A used car salesman would do something like that! I am so angry that I think I'll pass out and die from all the blood rushing from my heart to my head. He even says that Jonah Hex is a superior film in the same review! I am tempted to drive from Texas to New York, nonstop, so I can run up into the offices of the New York Press and punch this man in the face.

I guess so. I just can't stand how some unintelligent people are paid to pretend that they are intelligent. Everyone has an opinion, but making things up to prove your point is childish and insulting to people who actually know what those words mean.

If there no used as minion not funny and a troll burn them with fire or acid.

Ok, chill.
Bear in mind this guy is a hack, and judging by the gems in the article you link too, a very bad one. We have them in the UK as well, they're called anyone who writes for the Daily Mail, The Mirror, The Sun, or any other tabloid trash.
Now, personally, I do get the urge, quite frequently, to torch the head offices of these places and use the fire to toast Rupert Murdoch's head. However, the reason I am not currently serving life in prison as the famous tabloid arsonist and media mogul murderer is because I take comfort in the knowledge that they are hacks, they are scum, the lowest form of life, and there are currently things growing between my toes that are more intelligent than they are.
Going and committing acts of violence against them is lowering yourself to their level. They do not know how to articulate, only how to spew anger, bile and disgust. In fact, I often take great enjoyment from reading pieces by these hacks, as some of them are great works of (unintentional) comedy.

Yeah, the amateur level; leave the killing to professionals! Just dial 1-800-HITMAN.

I don't think he's actually seen the movie.

I have to agree with people's sentiments towards Armond White. The trend his reviews seem to favour movies that are less well-received by the audience, compared to more hyped movies. Not like they make much sense, to begin with - they're pretty much a joke if you just quickly gloss through it. He usually tries to get away with sounding like one who's trying to be different, by getting philosophical and deeeep in his reviews. While he is certainly entitled to his own opinions, the trend in his reviews apparently suggests that they're not that simple.
Here's his profile on Rottentomatoes:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/author/author-2725/

how the hell do you "pay for something aesthetically?"
does that mean you get uglier as you watch it?

It's a sad world we live in when a well paying occupation is professional troll. This guy is hardly the exception. Hell our very own Yahtzee has been trolling ever since whoever paid his wages realized hits were up when he hated a game.

Roger Ebert is really awful too. Ice Age 3 is the best one? War of The Worlds was horrendous? Bridge to Terrabithia got 4 1/2 stars out of 5? That was one of the worst movies I have seen in... ugh. Ebert just stinks.
But yea, this guy sounds like mindless drivel. Ignore him. Don't feed the troll :P

War of the worlds was pretty bad. Not to stick up for Ebert too much, but he isn't a troll. I'm not sure he deserves to be mentioned in the same sentence as...that other person.

Yeah, but Yahtzee is more a comedian than an actual reviewer. He's intentionally funny. Noone would watch his reviews if he was just sitting in a chair hating on games at a normal pace without animations and jokes.

Agreed. I tried watching War of the Worlds, but turned it off after half an hour. There's a difference between having different tastes than you, and deliberately slagging something just for the sake of doing it.

While he always had his style and his animations he did start reviewing seriously. It was around the time he got his own Theme tune that he turned into a full on comedy act. Some people still take him deathly serious though. Quite frankly those people probably own 3 games. Treasure Island Dizzy, Painkiller and Prince of Persia: SOT.

After clicking through a few hyperlinks, seeing Ebert use the term "WTF?" made me giggle.