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SheBear: Getting people to not say it doesn't mean the negative attitude will totally go away, but it does mean--especially a person stops saying it because they realize it is offensive and they feel bad--that the word as a cognate for "lesser" (and such) will become less prevalent.
And I'm all for that.

At the same time though, we need to realize that gay and retarded were extremely common use terms when I was a teenager, and it's hard to just shut that part of your brain off. I have gay friends who still use "gay" as a way of saying stupid, silly or whatever. They make fun of themselves for doing it sometimes, but it's just a colloquialism we all learned.

I'm fine with trying to move away from, and even for subtle admonishment, but the culture we are building right now is that if a politician, celebrity or even forum poster dares utter the word retarded some people will try to destroy their lives for it. That's what drives me up the wall.

It should be a "oops, sorry that slipped out, didn't mean to offend anyone" response, rather than a "I hereby resign my position and beg people to stop calling my house with death threats" response.
...so all we need to do, is to create culturally and historically neutral new language, that has nothing to do with any present language (to make word warps more difficult). Then teach this language to our children and make them forget that any other language ever exited in the first place?

I do not mean to be little the topic, but it is far easier to accept that people use all kinds of expressions, without actually thinking about the same word association as you do. Accept this, move on and youll be living a more content life.

After, where do you draw the line with "restricted" words? Good taste varies alot...
You can't change the way people speak, and I'm sure you know if you tried some people would say these things even more just to oppose you.

The best you can do is not say that yourself. Be the change you want in the world, and all that.

As for how bad I think saying that is? On one hand I don't care about what people want or don't want to say, on the other rape was never a word I used on casual conversation, even in the situations you mentioned, so I guess I do think people shouldn't just throw it around all the time.
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iippo: ...so all we need to do, is to create culturally and historically neutral new language, that has nothing to do with any present language (to make word warps more difficult). Then teach this language to our children and make them forget that any other language ever exited in the first place?

I do not mean to be little the topic, but it is far easier to accept that people use all kinds of expressions, without actually thinking about the same word association as you do. Accept this, move on and youll be living a more content life.

After, where do you draw the line with "restricted" words? Good taste varies alot...
That actually wouldn't help, unless you set up a system that would prevent them from creating (orgiving meaning of) these kinds of words on their own. And believe me, they would
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SheBear: Getting people to not say it doesn't mean the negative attitude will totally go away, but it does mean--especially a person stops saying it because they realize it is offensive and they feel bad--that the word as a cognate for "lesser" (and such) will become less prevalent.
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StingingVelvet: And I'm all for that.

At the same time though, we need to realize that gay and retarded were extremely common use terms when I was a teenager, and it's hard to just shut that part of your brain off. I have gay friends who still use "gay" as a way of saying stupid, silly or whatever. They make fun of themselves for doing it sometimes, but it's just a colloquialism we all learned.

I'm fine with trying to move away from, and even for subtle admonishment, but the culture we are building right now is that if a politician, celebrity or even forum poster dares utter the word retarded some people will try to destroy their lives for it. That's what drives me up the wall.

It should be a "oops, sorry that slipped out, didn't mean to offend anyone" response, rather than a "I hereby resign my position and beg people to stop calling my house with death threats" response.
I think that is exactly right. I think it is very import to be mindful of what we say and when. Put I don't think it does anyone any good to break out the pitchforks and torches every time someone says something dumb.
I am against shit talk in games...one of the reasons why i hardly teamed up with others that i didn't know in online games.
But like others said its in the context.
If someone form my youth would be propelled into this time and hear teens talking....wow, they would think that those teens are pretty mentally unstable (if they could understand even half what they are talking).
Back to games. Isn't it the anonymity of the Internet the reason why there are so many violations?
That and a subconscious readiness to use them but social norms prevents that in normal life.
What i mean is that you can't try to change just only one aspect of social behavior.
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iippo: ...so all we need to do, is to create culturally and historically neutral new language, that has nothing to do with any present language (to make word warps more difficult). Then teach this language to our children and make them forget that any other language ever exited in the first place?

I do not mean to be little the topic, but it is far easier to accept that people use all kinds of expressions, without actually thinking about the same word association as you do. Accept this, move on and youll be living a more content life.

After, where do you draw the line with "restricted" words? Good taste varies alot...
I think it has less to do with language and more to do with being respectful of others in general. There are a million shades of gray in language and the only way to navigate them well is a little bit of empathy and a hefty dose of common sense.
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iippo: ...so all we need to do, is to create culturally and historically neutral new language, that has nothing to do with any present language (to make word warps more difficult). Then teach this language to our children and make them forget that any other language ever exited in the first place?

I do not mean to be little the topic, but it is far easier to accept that people use all kinds of expressions, without actually thinking about the same word association as you do. Accept this, move on and youll be living a more content life.

After, where do you draw the line with "restricted" words? Good taste varies alot...
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Zookie: I think it has less to do with language and more to do with being respectful of others in general. There are a million shades of gray in language and the only way to navigate them well is a little bit of empathy and a hefty dose of common sense.
...so dont just expect that from other people, but give it to them as well.
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Schnuff: I am against shit talk in games...one of the reasons why i hardly teamed up with others that i didn't know in online games.
But like others said its in the context.
If someone form my youth would be propelled into this time and hear teens talking....wow, they would think that those teens are pretty mentally unstable (if they could understand even half what they are talking).
Back to games. Isn't it the anonymity of the Internet the reason why there are so many violations?
That and a subconscious readiness to use them but social norms prevents that in normal life.
What i mean is that you can't try to change just only one aspect of social behavior.
I think your right that the vast majorly of such talk can be attributed to immaturity and I don't expect that that will ever change. But I just do not like it.
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Zookie: I think it has less to do with language and more to do with being respectful of others in general. There are a million shades of gray in language and the only way to navigate them well is a little bit of empathy and a hefty dose of common sense.
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iippo: ...so dont just expect that from other people, but give it to them as well.
True, True. I am not really arguing that anything can or should be done about it. It has just been on my mind and I am venting.
Post edited June 08, 2013 by Zookie
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Schnuff: I am against shit talk in games...one of the reasons why i hardly teamed up with others that i didn't know in online games.
But like others said its in the context.
If someone form my youth would be propelled into this time and hear teens talking....wow, they would think that those teens are pretty mentally unstable (if they could understand even half what they are talking).
Back to games. Isn't it the anonymity of the Internet the reason why there are so many violations?
That and a subconscious readiness to use them but social norms prevents that in normal life.
What i mean is that you can't try to change just only one aspect of social behavior.
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Zookie: I think your right that the vast majorly of such talk can be attributed to immaturity and I don't expect that that will ever change. But I just do not like it.
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iippo: ...so dont just expect that from other people, but give it to them as well.
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Zookie: True, True. I am not really arguing that anything can or should be done about it. It has just been on my mind and I am venting.
Anyways - i do kinda agree that there are figures of speech id personally avoid. But still my main point is that, people shouldn't take that stuff personally, when its not ment so. It simply does no good, actually the very opposite.

Its really annoying when people start to overthink each and every word they hear for some "hidden" meanings and personal slights.
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Zookie: I think your right that the vast majorly of such talk can be attributed to immaturity and I don't expect that that will ever change. But I just do not like it.

True, True. I am not really arguing that anything can or should be done about it. It has just been on my mind and I am venting.
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iippo: Anyways - i do kinda agree that there are figures of speech id personally avoid. But still my main point is that, people shouldn't take that stuff personally, when its not ment so. It simply does no good, actually the very opposite.

Its really annoying when people start to overthink each and every word they hear for some "hidden" meanings and personal slights.
Yeah, for me it is just that I deal with some very disturbing stuff during the day as part of my work and I do not care to be reminded of it when I am at home. Even if that was not the person intention. I can ignore anannoying gamer on the other end of the internet. It is hard to ignore what I know and am reminded of. When you hear some things you cannot unhear them.
Post edited June 08, 2013 by Zookie
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Zookie: I think it has less to do with language and more to do with being respectful of others in general. There are a million shades of gray in language and the only way to navigate them well is a little bit of empathy and a hefty dose of common sense.
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iippo: ...so dont just expect that from other people, but give it to them as well.
I'm seriously dumbfounded here. Are you saying that instead of asking people to stop misusing words that trivialize things that shouldn't be trivialized and might really hurt someone, we should empathize with the people who use them?
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iippo: ...so dont just expect that from other people, but give it to them as well.
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Adzeth: I'm seriously dumbfounded here. Are you saying that instead of asking people to stop misusing words that trivialize things that shouldn't be trivialized and might really hurt someone, we should empathize with the people who use them?
I think he is saying you cannot make people do the right thing, you can only choose to do it yourself.
Post edited June 08, 2013 by Zookie
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Zookie: ...
Well, I spent five years working with lower-functioning adolescent sex offenders. Some of their case files were pretty surprising as far as what they'd done to others, as well as what had been done to them.

I think many people are generally unaware of what lies underneath a fair number of people, be it rape, murder, arson, blackmail, or a host of other things. There's a dark side to humanity that is easy to forget exists if you live in a nice, pleasant middle class life. Pain, depravity, and malicious suffering are all there, and it can be surprising and unsettling for those unused to it. I was already familiar with some of the darker side of humans, so working there was no big shocker for me, but there were plenty of staff at our facility that wouldn't work with our particular population, being too put off by them.

I have problems with people who misuse rape, as well as people who throw out gay, retard, homo, faggot and nigger. It's perhaps the main reason I've never played online games, because I already have enough shit in my life and hear enough offensive shit on the street that I don't want to play a game, something that's supposed to help me relax and feel good, and hear a non-stop stream of teens spewing that filth (or even worse, adults).

I do think calling people out for using these words is important, but you have to pick your battles. If it's just a random person passing by, don't bother. But if you're spending any amount of time with someone, enough that you know each other's names, then you should say something. How are people supposed to know using a word is bad if nobody ever tells them?

If you want somebody to talk to Zookie about the issues at your job, I'm always willing to lend an ear.
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iippo: ...so dont just expect that from other people, but give it to them as well.
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Adzeth: I'm seriously dumbfounded here. Are you saying that instead of asking people to stop misusing words that trivialize things that shouldn't be trivialized and might really hurt someone, we should empathize with the people who use them?
Would you make me a list of things that cant be "trivialized" or "might hurt really someone"? Because the whole world is full of those things. If you go by that standard, we should ban joke books as well as like 80+% of them "might really hurt someone".

Sure common sense is good thing, politeness is good thing - but although i dont personally speak spawn point raping or various other figures of speech, i dont condemn others for using them either.

Like i said, whats the goddamn (did i hurt any religious person by that?) reason to stick to stuff people say, when they arent even talking about you? Lets remove "dwarfs" from fantasy games - surely they are making short people feel bad. And lets remove giants too, because tall people (me) are depicted as being evil and dumb etc...

You are aware that you cant pretty much say, do or have opinion that doesnt hurt someone somewhere?