I think this forum really needs a place where you can come for a quick laugh. Life can't go without some rude, silly or dark jokes.


A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.

The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."


:D

I heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed, life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears."But doctor" He says, "I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

I think it exists.
And complementary joke-enhancers! [url=http://myinstants.com/instant/rimshot/]Rimshot!

A weird joke from one the best movies of all time.
http://youtu.be/rg8YXaXR4po?t=2m33s

I am on the lookout for a new job. Received a call from a recruitment consultant today. She said in an emphatic fashion: "Sir, I have three openings for you!"

I responded: "Yes, I know."

There was a long silence and then she whispered ----------------------------------------------"Bastard."

Ok I'm going to try my best to translate this joke into english.

Little 8 year old Timmy is driving his little red go-cart down an incline near his parents' house.
It's one of those old unpowered go-carts and it is in a deteriorating condition. Each time Timmy
goes down the incline, the front left wheel of the go-cart falls off and Timmy exclaims "fuck me!!" as
the cart grinds to a halt. Timmy then re-attaches the wheel and pushes the cart back up the incline
to go down again. Each time the same wheel falls of, and he exclaims : "Fuck me!!" Unbeknownst
to Timmy, a pastor is witnessing the whole episode from his back yard, and after the third time that
that Timmy shouts "Fuck me!!", the pastor decides to go over and have a little chat with Timmy.
"Timmy..." he says "...you know it's really not very nice to use such nasty words when you're
upset."
"I know mister..." says Timmy "... but I can't help it when my cart's wheel falls off when I'm driving it".
"Well..." the pastor says, "...how about next time the wheel falls off, instead of shouting those nasty
words, you instead shout 'hallelujah!!' "
"Ok!" says Timmy excitedly, and pushes his cart back up the incline. Again Timmy comes down the
incline as the pastor looks on with a peaked interest. As had happened all of the previous times, halfway
down the incline the front left wheel of the go-cart falls off, and Timmy throws his little arms into the air
shouting "Hallelujah!!". All of a sudden, the wheel that fell off pops right back into its axle!
"Fuck me!!" goes the pastor.

LOL..why blue?.. I asked only that myself too XD

Very old, bit I've always liked this:

Judge: "Did I understand you right, Mr Mouse, that you want to divorce from your wife Minnie because she was acting silly lately?"
Mickey: "No sir, got me wrong. I did not say she was acting silly. I said she was fucking goofy!"

That sounds like an adaptation of the Hitler-clown joke.

Yeah, but it's currently cool to be a russophobe in Finland, so this version of the joke is more on-topic here.

cant say i have heard of that one, so no comments :)

I don't know, I don't think we should be taking jokes away from Hitler...

Oh I Googsed the joke BTW because I couldn't remember exactly how it went and of course the first thing you find is an 'offensive jokes' website. Just as I was closing the tab my eye fell on this one "What's black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron.".

"Currently"?

Always.

...not speaking of my own opinions on matter though. Well, for the before mentioned phobias sake lets give it another go. Finland theme ;)

------------
"I see the Russian army is now conducting drills on Finland's border.

Or as Putin calls it, "window shopping."

Yep, they clearly have plans for conquering Finland! To arms! Karjala takaisin!

Seriously, this whole media warfare during this conflict has been a big effing joke, on both sides.

An actual joke(probably offensive to many, but it's such a fun play on stereotypes that I can't help, but laugh):

A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub.
She says, "Show me it's true what they say about black men."
So he stabs her and nicks her purse.