I'll ask Kunovski for his autograph on a blank sheet of paper. Then I'll use whatever room he has left on the paper to make it look like he's hiring an assassin to end his life, then find someone who is only too happy to work for "him".

1: knock him out
2: implant a cyanide pill in a ball gag
3: strip him of his clothes
4: strap him into an extreme bondage device.
5: bring him back to consciousness
6: advice him the pill is inside the ball gag
7: let Micheal Barrymore into the room
8: run away
9: watch the news to see if it was the cyanide that killed him or if he was just found face down in Micheal's pool.

I dont want you dead but I would do this.

I would get to know you really well, maybe become best friends, we would share some laughs, drink some beers together, try to pick up some chicks at bar, simply do the best stuff friends do. Maybe even go to cinema or something. But to move on.

One day I would put sleeping pills in our favorite drink we always drink (hehe funny sentence) I assume it will be chocolate milk. After you would be sleeping I would plant drugs EVERYWHERE in your house and call the cops that I heard weird noises from your house and I would like them to check it out. Of course they will find you sleeping, with drugs around you, drugs in you, drugs on you, drugs everywhere so they would arrest you.

You would feel horrible in jail, betrayed by your best friend, and to make things extra spicy I would begin to date your girlfriend and I would visit you with her regularly to annoy you. You would assume that whole world hates you and that you should commit suicide...but you wont. You will find out that the life isnt that bad, you will make even some new friends in jail, and life will seem better. After few years they will release you from you jail and you would feel so awesome. Finally free after those years, changed man, changed for better...
....
...
...and the moment you will step on the street I will run you over with my truck...you will never see it coming...

you guys are awesome! I'm dying to read more :D

Buh-dum -- ching!

Here's another one from the Jack Bauer School of Interrogation:

First I will tie up Kunovski and shoot Kunovski's fingers one by one every 30 minutes, but leave his right hand intact. Then, using a 20lb sledgehammer, break his feet, one at a time, then leave him there for an hour or so. Following that, I will break his shins with the same sledgehammer, and then an hour later, the kneecaps. Then, I will untie him, put a pistol on his lap, give him the keys to the door, and wait to see what happens.

I think I'll continue with my vegetable based murder methods. Firstly I would lure you to a high up location using a copy of Syndicate as bait. Then a cage would drop down, trapping you. Then the carpet of the room would be removed to reveal the floor is in fact constructed entirely from a large amount of carefully placed celery, and peering through the latticed celery girders you would see that there is a very long drop to the next floor. At this point I would release a large number of Gineau Pigs into the room, and allow you to watch in horror as the stupid yet incredibly greedy rodents slowly eat their way through the floor.

How about mine? :D I wrote first thing that came to my mind

Prologue:

Once upon a time there was a little bunny, let's call him Kunovski for now, and he was very curious about the world around him. So one day, when all his brothers and sisters went for a walk around the farm.............

Chapter 1:

.................

.................

Chapter 6:

............

Chapter 27:

.........................and so Kunovski the rabbit, standing on the edge of the great Deepwater ridge, put down his machinegun and turned around to look in the eyes of his nemesis.

- "I'd never guess you would actually fall for this..."
- "I had no other choice, don't you think?"
- "Whatever. It needs to end now... But I must say I'm impressed by your deeds, nobody ever got this far."
- "Do what you must. I'm finished anyway..."
- "I will be my pleasure..."

And then, after the exhausting two years, Kunovski the rabbit could finally let go. He actually couldn't wait for it to be over. He opened his eyes and awaited the inevitable.

The laser beam cut through his bodyarmor as a hot knife through butter. He couldn't feel a thing, he was already gone... As he started to fall down the cliff, he smiled softly. There was a happy end after all. Not for him, but still a happy end.

Epilogue:

...........................

EDIT: blanks to be filled, maybe :D

I channel my inner Scott Evil and just SHOOT him already - GAH!

make him read this topic with no food and or liquids of any kind as it creeps up to 1000 different ways, and he is not allowed to post his own.

nice try, but... no :D
so, with the holiday season and all:

I'd pour a gallon of jelly onto the xmas tree, than stick it all up Kunovski's butt and turn the power on! :D french fry time!

tie him down in a chicken shed and watch on as the chickens peck him to death

hmm, long time no kill...

hmm I would put him into super meat boy, that would do the trick :)